check this out: http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=931
my favorite part: "...it is not possible to know where a grad student is and where it is going at the same time."
this is most certainly true. ;)
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
food for thought
i've been thinking a lot about purpose and other such things the past couple months, and came across this quote yesterday:
"The nature of human beings is to be inactive unless influenced by some affection: love or hatred, desire, hope, fear, etc. These affections are the "springs of action," the things that set us moving in our lives, that move us to engage in activities. When we look at the world, we see that people are exceedingly busy. It is their affections that keep them busy."
thus, question one: what do your activities say about what matters to you?
more than that... i think it's possible for two people to do the exact same thing with very different motivation, so question 2: what motivates you to do the things you do?
final question: what do you consider important to you that didn't make the cut above? what is on the list of motivations and activities that says things about you that you wish it didn't?
i'd like to think that i do things because i love what i do, not out of hatred, or fear, or greed, or pride. being human, nothing is ever 100% perfect, but still that's my goal. and when people claim my motivations are otherwise, it really makes me think...
nothing profound or mindbending to share... i just found it intriguing to think of the relationship between how i prioritize my time, what motivates me to prioritize it that way, and how well it matches up with the "ideal me" that lives in my head.
...and now, i really like the above quote. :)
the end.
"The nature of human beings is to be inactive unless influenced by some affection: love or hatred, desire, hope, fear, etc. These affections are the "springs of action," the things that set us moving in our lives, that move us to engage in activities. When we look at the world, we see that people are exceedingly busy. It is their affections that keep them busy."
thus, question one: what do your activities say about what matters to you?
more than that... i think it's possible for two people to do the exact same thing with very different motivation, so question 2: what motivates you to do the things you do?
final question: what do you consider important to you that didn't make the cut above? what is on the list of motivations and activities that says things about you that you wish it didn't?
i'd like to think that i do things because i love what i do, not out of hatred, or fear, or greed, or pride. being human, nothing is ever 100% perfect, but still that's my goal. and when people claim my motivations are otherwise, it really makes me think...
nothing profound or mindbending to share... i just found it intriguing to think of the relationship between how i prioritize my time, what motivates me to prioritize it that way, and how well it matches up with the "ideal me" that lives in my head.
...and now, i really like the above quote. :)
the end.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
busy, busy....
i've somehow survived grading the first round of midterms for the semester, and still gotten everything else on my to do list for the week done on time!
earlier this evening:
me: baxter, you know how at the beginning of the semester my to do list of everything i've gotten myself into lately seemed incredibly daunting, and i was worried i was going to go crazy or something?
baxter: yup
me: well, now, guess what!
baxter: you've gotten a rhythm down?
me: yup! and actually, now occasionally i'm starting to wonder why i was so worried. i think if i wanted, i could fit even more in!
baxter: but please please don't!
me: because?
baxter: because i already get dizzy thinking of all the stuff you do, and i don't want to get dizzier imagining more.
this from a guy who insisted on getting the "women's only blast" added to his smoothie at the coffee shop tonight. doht.
the end.
earlier this evening:
me: baxter, you know how at the beginning of the semester my to do list of everything i've gotten myself into lately seemed incredibly daunting, and i was worried i was going to go crazy or something?
baxter: yup
me: well, now, guess what!
baxter: you've gotten a rhythm down?
me: yup! and actually, now occasionally i'm starting to wonder why i was so worried. i think if i wanted, i could fit even more in!
baxter: but please please don't!
me: because?
baxter: because i already get dizzy thinking of all the stuff you do, and i don't want to get dizzier imagining more.
this from a guy who insisted on getting the "women's only blast" added to his smoothie at the coffee shop tonight. doht.
the end.
Friday, October 05, 2007
what is a leader?
this question has come up in various forms throughout this week. be forewarned... long multi-faceted rant follows:
(1) personally, i've gotten involved in many more responsibilities this year than most people would be willing to take on, and what gets me up in the morning to do them all is that i believe i'm making a positive difference, at least in my corner of the world. am i always happy? no. am i as full of energy about things as i come off in public? definitely not. but i conscientiously do each major thing i do for a reason...
* i want to have as positive of an attitude as i can with my students so that they are comfortable to approach me with questions when they're stuck on things; i want each of them to learn how to work hard to succeed, and i recognize that success is measured different ways for different students. i strive for them to see me as someone cheering for them and willing to help them be their personal best. some days i pull this off a lot better than others.
* i spend a LOT of time writing careful comments to my students when grading, because although it's long and tedious, i view grading as a sort of conversation to help them understand the things they missed the first time around...
* i agree to help organize teaching workshops, seminars, and other things because i know that i pay close attention to details, and can keep things rolling without other people having to stress about things.
* i've agreed to be involved at various things in my church where i've been asked to help because i really do enjoy helping with organization and facilitating groups of people. again, i try to be approachable to be useful where i can be...
i work very hard at a lot of things, not to be recognized for them, but because i take pride/joy in knowing a job has been done well. my energy is fed from meeting the needs of others and/or helping unite them. occasionally when i talk about something or another i've been up to (as happened a few days ago), some of my peers take it as "she's bragging that she does so much". this often takes me aback; people who know me well realize this is the farthest thing from my mind. balancing enthusiasm for things i'm up to lately with phrasing my enthusaism in a way that doesn't ever bother others is something i'm constantly aware of. i'd rather be a leader in doing things well, than a bragger, thus hinding my effectiveness....
(2) this same topic came up again this afternoon. a former rutgers phd student who graduated last spring was back visiting and said to me "you realize none of the things you do now will matter a single bit when you graduate", to which one of my friends replied "if she goes into a strict research job, sure, but what if she goes somewhere that wants good teachers".
this former rutgers student conceeded, but pointed out "hey lara, you do realize that student in lectures with good professors only outscore students in lectures with bad professors on average by 10%... is that significant enough of a difference for you to put THAT much more time into your teaching?!?"
i responded "i think differences in grades aside, students with good professors who care about them learn to develop a much better ATTITUDE about learning than students with self-proclaimed bad professors", which totally took him aback.
until i have evidence to the contrary (and actually i think i have bits of evidence in favor of it), to me, it's worth it to try to foster good attitudes and enthusaism in my students, whether they be A students, B students, C students, or downright struggling. when it comes down to it, i think i would be more happy trying to teach a room of C students who are sincerely trying to understand and keep a good attitude, rather than a room full of talented but cynical A students. my goal is to help give them the ability to be optimistic and enthusaistic about their education. so on that note, i have to keep believing that i can make a difference. it's what keeps me going with the energy level i currently run at.
both (1) and (2) are just to say: the issue of purpose and "what's the difference between making a difference and just being busy for the sake of being busy?" have been on my mind lately.... now for a seeming 180 degree turn...
(3) in a completely different context, the memphis mayoral election was yesterday. i'm still registered to vote in memphis and voted absentee a month ago. however, the current incumbent was elected to an unprecedented 5th term. not that wikipedia is a perfect refernence, but i think the fact that a full 1/3 of his current article says:
"In recent times, Herenton has faced mounting criticism from citizens and other observers, who have charged that he has, among the following:
is fairly telling...
quote from the Commercial Appeal newspaper article on his election victory
interestingly enough, the headline on the day of the election was:
Memphis leads U.S. in violent crime. thanks willie... in 16 years, this is where we've gotten.
i'm generally really proud to be from memphis. however, the fact that 42% of the popular vote went to herenton and put him in office again when he has clearly stated people who are unhappy with him can leave, that he can't fix crime (sure no one completely can fix it on their own, but you can make an effort...), that his acceptance speech last night was more of "me, me, me, stop the people who don't like me" rather than "here's what i, as mayor, can do to serve you", makes me ashamed to be from a place that would vote him back in after such blatant comments.
so i ask, what is a leader?
the most basic definition is "one who leads others", and lead, at its most basic, means, "the boss".
but what is an effective leader? i asked google to help me on this. many definitions in many contexts include some aspect of encouraging unity and inspiring people, even those who disagree with you. such as:
* leadership is 'the lifting of people's vision to a higher sight, the raising of their performance to a higher standard, the building of their personality beyond its normal limitations'
* leadership means working with and through people by providing them with a vision of the future which is meaningful to them and motivating. Leadership is both strategic and pragmatic and encourages all members of a team to deliver their best as an individual and as a team member.
* leadership is evidenced by effective attempts to influence others.
* leadership is coping with change, focusing on objectives, developing strategies and inspiring the organization to move in the same direction. Demonstrates a positive attitude toward the organization, other staff, and its constituents. Serves as a role model.
i'm sorry to mayor herenton, but i've seen you influence a particular sector of the city, and totally trash the rest. developing strategies to inspire the city to move in the same direction? i don't see "shake the haters" doing that... rather than inspiring the best in those you represent, you tell those who disagree with you to move out. responding to "what do you plan to do about divisions in the city?" with "i didn't divide them" doesn't show vision, it shows shirking blame and refusing to act....
i was ranting on the phone with my dad earlier and he pointed out that less than half the city actually voted in the election. he commented "people have become so apathetic that they figure they can't make a difference, whereas if that 60% had actually voted, perhaps we could see morris or chumney in office right now instead..." and that's the thing. maybe the election could have gone differently, maybe not, but the people who didn't vote at all totally outnumber the people who voted yesterday. no matter what they supported, if they would have gone out and voted, collectively they DO have the power to institute change. they don't have to run for mayor or have a grand plan to fix it, they just need to believe that their vote counts, that they can make a difference.
my mom brought up the point "so, we can either be haters and move out based on our unhappiness or stay put and make a difference where we already are in a place that's hurting and needs all the people trying to make things better that it can get." it's a decision every individual has to make, and i see credit to both. you can make a difference in a place that's hurting and continue to strive and hope for change, or you can go somewhere where you can make a difference more effectively without being hampered by biggers powers that be. both are valid...
but end of long rambly paragraphs. i think my point is this.
(3) my disgust for the memphis election outcome this week brings up a key example of someone many consider to be a divisive and egotistical leader doing more harm than good. it is possible to be in a position of power, and not truly be a leader in the ideal sense of the word.
(2) i think it's also possible to have the influencing qualities of a good leader without necessarily being in a position of power. the people you meet and interact with from day to day are your community, and you have the power to make things better for them one act of kindness, or inspiration, or helpfulness at a time, or to let things be, or to hassle them.
(1) it's possible to be busy for the sake of being busy, but it's also possible to channel being busy into making a difference for those around you.
this is why i currently absolutely love Nichole Nordeman's song "Legacy". it's not something i can say i have down, but it's a goal i'm continually working for to keep my "busyness" in check... Lyrics:
I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such’n'such ... it wouldn't matter much
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
you don't even have to be Christian or religious and agree with all the lines of the chorus, i think the conclusion i've come to in the past several week of busyness is:
when you choose to take the time to do a job well, or invest in others, or just show love instead of indifference or hate, you're already being a leader amongst your neighbors and peers. what we could use more of is people who believe just that: not in all the pride and awards and "stuff" they can accumulate, but in their abilty to wake up and make a difference for *someone* they meet in some way each and every day.
done ranting. really. reactions?
the end.
(1) personally, i've gotten involved in many more responsibilities this year than most people would be willing to take on, and what gets me up in the morning to do them all is that i believe i'm making a positive difference, at least in my corner of the world. am i always happy? no. am i as full of energy about things as i come off in public? definitely not. but i conscientiously do each major thing i do for a reason...
* i want to have as positive of an attitude as i can with my students so that they are comfortable to approach me with questions when they're stuck on things; i want each of them to learn how to work hard to succeed, and i recognize that success is measured different ways for different students. i strive for them to see me as someone cheering for them and willing to help them be their personal best. some days i pull this off a lot better than others.
* i spend a LOT of time writing careful comments to my students when grading, because although it's long and tedious, i view grading as a sort of conversation to help them understand the things they missed the first time around...
* i agree to help organize teaching workshops, seminars, and other things because i know that i pay close attention to details, and can keep things rolling without other people having to stress about things.
* i've agreed to be involved at various things in my church where i've been asked to help because i really do enjoy helping with organization and facilitating groups of people. again, i try to be approachable to be useful where i can be...
i work very hard at a lot of things, not to be recognized for them, but because i take pride/joy in knowing a job has been done well. my energy is fed from meeting the needs of others and/or helping unite them. occasionally when i talk about something or another i've been up to (as happened a few days ago), some of my peers take it as "she's bragging that she does so much". this often takes me aback; people who know me well realize this is the farthest thing from my mind. balancing enthusiasm for things i'm up to lately with phrasing my enthusaism in a way that doesn't ever bother others is something i'm constantly aware of. i'd rather be a leader in doing things well, than a bragger, thus hinding my effectiveness....
(2) this same topic came up again this afternoon. a former rutgers phd student who graduated last spring was back visiting and said to me "you realize none of the things you do now will matter a single bit when you graduate", to which one of my friends replied "if she goes into a strict research job, sure, but what if she goes somewhere that wants good teachers".
this former rutgers student conceeded, but pointed out "hey lara, you do realize that student in lectures with good professors only outscore students in lectures with bad professors on average by 10%... is that significant enough of a difference for you to put THAT much more time into your teaching?!?"
i responded "i think differences in grades aside, students with good professors who care about them learn to develop a much better ATTITUDE about learning than students with self-proclaimed bad professors", which totally took him aback.
until i have evidence to the contrary (and actually i think i have bits of evidence in favor of it), to me, it's worth it to try to foster good attitudes and enthusaism in my students, whether they be A students, B students, C students, or downright struggling. when it comes down to it, i think i would be more happy trying to teach a room of C students who are sincerely trying to understand and keep a good attitude, rather than a room full of talented but cynical A students. my goal is to help give them the ability to be optimistic and enthusaistic about their education. so on that note, i have to keep believing that i can make a difference. it's what keeps me going with the energy level i currently run at.
both (1) and (2) are just to say: the issue of purpose and "what's the difference between making a difference and just being busy for the sake of being busy?" have been on my mind lately.... now for a seeming 180 degree turn...
(3) in a completely different context, the memphis mayoral election was yesterday. i'm still registered to vote in memphis and voted absentee a month ago. however, the current incumbent was elected to an unprecedented 5th term. not that wikipedia is a perfect refernence, but i think the fact that a full 1/3 of his current article says:
"In recent times, Herenton has faced mounting criticism from citizens and other observers, who have charged that he has, among the following:
- Failed to ensure sound fiscal management of the City of Memphis
- Failed to communicate effectively with the City Council
- Failed to address multiple allegations of improprieties regarding Memphis Light Gas and Water
- Served as the prime target and catalyst for the City Charter rewrite
- Angered citizens to the point of becoming a target of a citizen recall effort
- Done little in response to the significant rise in crime under his leadership, stating that "No mayor in any American city can solve the crime problem."
- Stated that those who don't like the way he has served as mayor can move out of Memphis."
is fairly telling...
quote from the Commercial Appeal newspaper article on his election victory
"This last election has been very disappointing to me," he said. "A lot of people I thought were with me, and I found out they were not with me, and that's a concern. ... There are some mean-spirited people in Memphis. There are some haters in Memphis!"
The crowd at his victory party responded with shouts of "Shake 'em off! Shake 'em off!"
interestingly enough, the headline on the day of the election was:
Memphis leads U.S. in violent crime. thanks willie... in 16 years, this is where we've gotten.
i'm generally really proud to be from memphis. however, the fact that 42% of the popular vote went to herenton and put him in office again when he has clearly stated people who are unhappy with him can leave, that he can't fix crime (sure no one completely can fix it on their own, but you can make an effort...), that his acceptance speech last night was more of "me, me, me, stop the people who don't like me" rather than "here's what i, as mayor, can do to serve you", makes me ashamed to be from a place that would vote him back in after such blatant comments.
so i ask, what is a leader?
the most basic definition is "one who leads others", and lead, at its most basic, means, "the boss".
but what is an effective leader? i asked google to help me on this. many definitions in many contexts include some aspect of encouraging unity and inspiring people, even those who disagree with you. such as:
* leadership is 'the lifting of people's vision to a higher sight, the raising of their performance to a higher standard, the building of their personality beyond its normal limitations'
* leadership means working with and through people by providing them with a vision of the future which is meaningful to them and motivating. Leadership is both strategic and pragmatic and encourages all members of a team to deliver their best as an individual and as a team member.
* leadership is evidenced by effective attempts to influence others.
* leadership is coping with change, focusing on objectives, developing strategies and inspiring the organization to move in the same direction. Demonstrates a positive attitude toward the organization, other staff, and its constituents. Serves as a role model.
i'm sorry to mayor herenton, but i've seen you influence a particular sector of the city, and totally trash the rest. developing strategies to inspire the city to move in the same direction? i don't see "shake the haters" doing that... rather than inspiring the best in those you represent, you tell those who disagree with you to move out. responding to "what do you plan to do about divisions in the city?" with "i didn't divide them" doesn't show vision, it shows shirking blame and refusing to act....
i was ranting on the phone with my dad earlier and he pointed out that less than half the city actually voted in the election. he commented "people have become so apathetic that they figure they can't make a difference, whereas if that 60% had actually voted, perhaps we could see morris or chumney in office right now instead..." and that's the thing. maybe the election could have gone differently, maybe not, but the people who didn't vote at all totally outnumber the people who voted yesterday. no matter what they supported, if they would have gone out and voted, collectively they DO have the power to institute change. they don't have to run for mayor or have a grand plan to fix it, they just need to believe that their vote counts, that they can make a difference.
my mom brought up the point "so, we can either be haters and move out based on our unhappiness or stay put and make a difference where we already are in a place that's hurting and needs all the people trying to make things better that it can get." it's a decision every individual has to make, and i see credit to both. you can make a difference in a place that's hurting and continue to strive and hope for change, or you can go somewhere where you can make a difference more effectively without being hampered by biggers powers that be. both are valid...
but end of long rambly paragraphs. i think my point is this.
(3) my disgust for the memphis election outcome this week brings up a key example of someone many consider to be a divisive and egotistical leader doing more harm than good. it is possible to be in a position of power, and not truly be a leader in the ideal sense of the word.
(2) i think it's also possible to have the influencing qualities of a good leader without necessarily being in a position of power. the people you meet and interact with from day to day are your community, and you have the power to make things better for them one act of kindness, or inspiration, or helpfulness at a time, or to let things be, or to hassle them.
(1) it's possible to be busy for the sake of being busy, but it's also possible to channel being busy into making a difference for those around you.
this is why i currently absolutely love Nichole Nordeman's song "Legacy". it's not something i can say i have down, but it's a goal i'm continually working for to keep my "busyness" in check... Lyrics:
I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such’n'such ... it wouldn't matter much
I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
you don't even have to be Christian or religious and agree with all the lines of the chorus, i think the conclusion i've come to in the past several week of busyness is:
when you choose to take the time to do a job well, or invest in others, or just show love instead of indifference or hate, you're already being a leader amongst your neighbors and peers. what we could use more of is people who believe just that: not in all the pride and awards and "stuff" they can accumulate, but in their abilty to wake up and make a difference for *someone* they meet in some way each and every day.
done ranting. really. reactions?
the end.
