Tuesday, November 27, 2007

crazy game

http://www.blackstate.gr/Brain_game.htm

what's your best time? (i'm up to 17 seconds so far (i.e. not so brilliant), but it's horribly addictive...)

enjoy!

Monday, November 19, 2007

it's beginning to look a lot like...

wintertime!

today, i woke up to a very long to do list, that i'm not even sure i'll finish in the next THREE days, much less today... i'm working away at the computer in my room in my PJs, when leigh appeared at my door and whispered "lara... come quick... it's SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!"

you have to understand that leigh grew up in texas and i grew up in southwest tennessee, so while most 20-something year olds are tired of snow and all the cleanup, ice scraping, and crazy driving situations it entails, i've really only lived in places that get snow for the past 8 years, and leigh only for the last 4.

so while most people (including our third housemate colleen, who comes from minnesota) seem to dread days like today, this morning began with an hour of bouncing and oohing and ahhing with my housemate leigh while we admired flurries.

no matter how busy, a day that starts with snow will be wonderful. :)

happy first-NJ-snow-of-the-year if you're close... happy-monday-before-thanksgiving to all!!!! :)

Thursday, November 15, 2007

sunshine...

i had an intriguing chat with the department graduate secretary this afternoon. i think it's incredibly valuable to have friends and acquaintances who can see the you you want to be inside of you, and it's amazing when they can see it at times when you don't suspect it.

to elaborate:
i feel like i should explain a little of my personality. on meyers-briggs tests, i traditionally run the line between INFJ and ENFJ. in one description of ENFJ personality types i've found online, it reads "Many ENFJs have tremendous power to manipulate others with their phenomenal interpersonal skills and unique salesmanship. But it's usually not meant as manipulation -- ENFJs generally believe in their dreams, and see themselves as helpers and enablers, which they usually are.".

this is somewhat apt. i spend a lot of time talking to a lot of people about all kinds of things. when i walk through the floor of the math building where all the secretaries and support staff work, it's not uncommon for me to stop by 2 or 3 doors and just stick my head in to say "hi (insert name)! how's it going? you having a good week? anything exciting going on this weekend?" i do this to selected professors too. in fact, when i visit the building where i've worked the past three summers, even the custodial staff randomly sit down and chat with me (i let them sneak free food out of REU lunches for years and ask them regularly how they're doing, so we have a rapport ;) )... all this random interaction just to say hi to people is part of who i am.

in my head, this is nothing more than: (1) i like it when people take time to say hi to me (2) i find it frustrating when people give me lots to do without taking the time to be genuine and kind too. i'm a person, not a machine, and i try to treat others how i'd like to be treated. (3) smiles go a long way to making things nicer, for me, hopefully for the people around me, and for the environment in general...

from time to time though, i'm told i've mastered the "art of schmoozing", and people aren't always convinced i'm genuine, or they claim that i do these things because i crave attention, which is not my understanding of myself at all. so then it sends me into a self-analytical "what motivates me to do what i do" streak for awhile.

anyhow, today was the graduate secretary's last day before transfering to a new job in a different department next week. i knew this for 2 weeks, and had stopped by periodically to chat, making especially a point to stop by this afternoon before she was gone. when i stuck my head in the door, she was meeting with a professor, and i said i would come back later, but she interrupted me and said to the professor "i think we were about done, and this is important, lara's one of my favorites, and i've GOT to chat with her today. are we good?"

once the prof left, she gave me a hug, and went on to tell me that she sees a lot of herself in me when she's seen me all smiling and being friendly to her... she said she comes in every day trying to start off with a good attitude and being nice to everyone (which she does, she's awesome, and that's why i like stopping by her office to chat...)

then she said that she wanted to thank me... to quote "more times than you'll ever know, so many other people and things going on in this department have made me sad or stressed out when i'm trying to keep a good attitude. it makes it hard to stay happy and focused sometimes, but you just stick your head in here and smile at me and say hi, and it's often been my sunshine on otherwise stressful days. just so you know, i WILL keep in touch with you, and thank you for always sharing your smile with me"

this paragraph absolutely floored me. i know what my intentions are when i spend time chatting with staff and professors, and i also realize that from time to time others don't get it. but to hear that me just "being me" made a difference... it makes me happy. :)

on the other hand, another professor who i was chatting with this afternoon told me that i'm too young to be analyzing my motivations so seriously all the time, and that "it sounded good at the time" should be good enough for me. maybe it's just part of how i'm wired, but that's not good enough explanation for me. i'm all about being intentional and as genuine as i can be. i don't necessarily pull it off successfully all the time, but it makes me feel good that at least one person in her interactions with me, saw me not haphazardly, and not as fake or as a schmoozer, but as the kind and cheerful ideal me i wish i knew how to always be.

the end.