a poem

Twas the night before Lara's qual, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The math books were flung round the house without care,
In hopes that post-exam, they'd be eaten by bears.

The Lara was nestled all snug in her bed,
Unable to sleep, while equations danced in her head.
There were Hilbert functions galore, and reduced Grobner bases,
And simplicial complexes with way too many faces.

the proof of zeilberger's algorithm made way too much clatter,
pattern avoidance was easy -- but it probably wouldn't matter.
the proof of furedi-hajnal was made clear a flash,
but lara wished she had more time for the music of the great johnny cash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to her wondering eyes should appear,
But four qual committee profs, intent on inducing fear.

The committee chair was so lively and full of glee,
I knew in a moment it must be the one and only dr. z.
More rapid than eagles his questions they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called things by hebrew names!

"Now Robinson-Schensted-Knuth correspondence!
Oh Great theorem of Lindstrom and Clements!
Bell numbers, Stirlings, Catalans, and Eulerians too!
We'll quiz her on more theorems than there are animals in a zoo!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the limit of lara's stress level they pushed,
With their endless tricks, she felt rather ambushed.

And then, in a twinkling, 80 minutes was done
Truth be told, for Lara, it wasn't much fun
As she drew in her head, and then left the room,
She could have sworn she heard a dirge from Roe Goodman's bassoon.

They spoke not a word, but went straight to their work,
Debating her merits and all her mathematical quirks.
Retakh and Beck, Dr. Z. and Diane,
They had gotten her good, as had been the plan!

Then they sprang from the room, decision unknown
While Lara waited quietly, as if made out of stone.
But I heard Z. exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Just one more day of math h*ll, but think of your freedom tomorrow night!"