Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.
Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.
attributed - sir francis drake -1577
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
some laughs...
freakin hilarious...
(1) in church, one of the lines we have in a typical lutheran (or many other denominations) service is:
pastor: lift up your hearts
congregation: we lift them to the Lord.
in the church bulletin this morning, however, the response was printed as:
pastor: life up your hearts
congregation: we left them to the Lord.
both typos are pretty funny, i thought. :)
(2) ziggy, as always, is my hero today:
that is all. happy weekend!
(1) in church, one of the lines we have in a typical lutheran (or many other denominations) service is:
pastor: lift up your hearts
congregation: we lift them to the Lord.
in the church bulletin this morning, however, the response was printed as:
pastor: life up your hearts
congregation: we left them to the Lord.
both typos are pretty funny, i thought. :)
(2) ziggy, as always, is my hero today:
that is all. happy weekend!
Friday, January 11, 2008
back to the real world...
i love conferences. i just spent 4 days listening to math talks and hanging out with a bunches of people who i know from various mathematical parts of my past... it probably sounds nerdy, but being in a convention center of 5000ish mathematicians for the week feels like a mini-reunion of the past 10 years of my life rather than a chore or responsibility. and a trip to san diego for said convention was awesome too. now, alas, i'm no longer in math reunion land...
however, it appears that i now know what i'm doing with my life post grad school, but i'm hesitant to give all the details until they're all completely ironed out (which they should be within a month or so). it looks highly likely that this is my last semester of grad school and that i'll be moving in late july, which is exciting and moderately terrifying at the same time (seriously, i've ALWAYS been a student, and in a few months i won't be anymore... and i have a LOT of stuff (mostly books) that i'm dreading packing). but complain as i may about packing and transition, this is an exciting one, and the more i process the decision i made on monday (TBA in a month or so ;) ) the more enthusiastic i feel about it. :) life is crazy.
back in TN for the weekend. apparently i get to teach my mom's 8th graders for half an hour tomorrow morning. she wants me to tell them what a mathematician does. exciting, right?
this is a post composed of completely random paragraphs, so the conclusion will be no different. i flew memphis -> chicago -> san diego last saturday, san diego -> las vegas yesterday, and las vegas -> denver -> memphis tonight.
on the plane from denver to memphis, i ended up sitting next to brit, a hilarious 30-ish year old arkansas soybean farmer who really wanted to chat the whole time.... it started with
brit: "what do you do?"
me: "i'm a grad student, i study math."
brit: "oh! so see if you can beat my score on this quiz (pulls out a magazine quiz of which the first problem is "compute 2/3 x 3/4 x 4/5 x 5/6 x 6/7 without using a calculator"). my dad got a degree in accounting, if you beat him i'm impressed" (the dad sitting across the aisle didn't understand how i quickly concluded the answer was 2/7 and had me explain it slowly on the way off the plane later ;) )
quite some time later of oohing and aahing over math tricks, sharing crazy travel stories, and talking about gun control and soybeans....
brit: well, lara, i'm sure glad i sat by you this flight. it's made the last 2 hours a heck of a lot more fun.
me: yeah, me too. out of the 5 flights i've been on this week, you're the first person to be any kind of friendly.
brit: well, i bet you anything the rest of them were yankees!
(... it's good to be a southerner ;))
the end.
however, it appears that i now know what i'm doing with my life post grad school, but i'm hesitant to give all the details until they're all completely ironed out (which they should be within a month or so). it looks highly likely that this is my last semester of grad school and that i'll be moving in late july, which is exciting and moderately terrifying at the same time (seriously, i've ALWAYS been a student, and in a few months i won't be anymore... and i have a LOT of stuff (mostly books) that i'm dreading packing). but complain as i may about packing and transition, this is an exciting one, and the more i process the decision i made on monday (TBA in a month or so ;) ) the more enthusiastic i feel about it. :) life is crazy.
back in TN for the weekend. apparently i get to teach my mom's 8th graders for half an hour tomorrow morning. she wants me to tell them what a mathematician does. exciting, right?
this is a post composed of completely random paragraphs, so the conclusion will be no different. i flew memphis -> chicago -> san diego last saturday, san diego -> las vegas yesterday, and las vegas -> denver -> memphis tonight.
on the plane from denver to memphis, i ended up sitting next to brit, a hilarious 30-ish year old arkansas soybean farmer who really wanted to chat the whole time.... it started with
brit: "what do you do?"
me: "i'm a grad student, i study math."
brit: "oh! so see if you can beat my score on this quiz (pulls out a magazine quiz of which the first problem is "compute 2/3 x 3/4 x 4/5 x 5/6 x 6/7 without using a calculator"). my dad got a degree in accounting, if you beat him i'm impressed" (the dad sitting across the aisle didn't understand how i quickly concluded the answer was 2/7 and had me explain it slowly on the way off the plane later ;) )
quite some time later of oohing and aahing over math tricks, sharing crazy travel stories, and talking about gun control and soybeans....
brit: well, lara, i'm sure glad i sat by you this flight. it's made the last 2 hours a heck of a lot more fun.
me: yeah, me too. out of the 5 flights i've been on this week, you're the first person to be any kind of friendly.
brit: well, i bet you anything the rest of them were yankees!
(... it's good to be a southerner ;))
the end.
Thursday, January 03, 2008
one of the cooler things i’ve learned in a bit...
i spent a large chunk of my afternoon at the main memphis library today to get some programming/research/writing the talk i give next week done. instead of going straight home though, i went to raid the math section and see if they had anything interesting or new since i last checked it out in may. amongst other things i found a book called "1089 and all that" which was a quick easy (150ish pages in about an hour) read, with lots of cute facts, most of which i knew already.
but one chapter amazed me. "the indian rope trick" is a magic trick where the magician throws a rope into the air and somehow, defying gravity, it stays in the air, and then a small child climbs it. if you google it, there's all kinds of speculation about how it's a hoax and how it might be pulled off.
however, inspired by this, the author looked at a different idea:
instead of a rope, think of a pendulum hanging from the ceiling and attach another pendulum to the bottom of that, etc., etc.... so it's like a giant stick that can bend in a bunch of places
now instead of attaching to the ceiling, attach the pendulum to the floor. clearly, if you let it be, it's going to collapse.
HOWEVER, the author proved that there's a "natural frequency" that if you move the base of your stick of pendulums UP and DOWN the right amount at the right speed, the stick will stay up... you can even push it up to like 40 degrees off center and it will correct itself.
the author's website has an illustration program. click on the upside down pendulum theorem at http://home.jesus.ox.ac.uk/~dacheson/1089comp.html
how cool is that?
but one chapter amazed me. "the indian rope trick" is a magic trick where the magician throws a rope into the air and somehow, defying gravity, it stays in the air, and then a small child climbs it. if you google it, there's all kinds of speculation about how it's a hoax and how it might be pulled off.
however, inspired by this, the author looked at a different idea:
instead of a rope, think of a pendulum hanging from the ceiling and attach another pendulum to the bottom of that, etc., etc.... so it's like a giant stick that can bend in a bunch of places
now instead of attaching to the ceiling, attach the pendulum to the floor. clearly, if you let it be, it's going to collapse.
HOWEVER, the author proved that there's a "natural frequency" that if you move the base of your stick of pendulums UP and DOWN the right amount at the right speed, the stick will stay up... you can even push it up to like 40 degrees off center and it will correct itself.
the author's website has an illustration program. click on the upside down pendulum theorem at http://home.jesus.ox.ac.uk/~dacheson/1089comp.html
how cool is that?
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
crazy game
http://www.blackstate.gr/Brain_game.htm
what's your best time? (i'm up to 17 seconds so far (i.e. not so brilliant), but it's horribly addictive...)
enjoy!
what's your best time? (i'm up to 17 seconds so far (i.e. not so brilliant), but it's horribly addictive...)
enjoy!
Monday, November 19, 2007
it's beginning to look a lot like...
wintertime!
today, i woke up to a very long to do list, that i'm not even sure i'll finish in the next THREE days, much less today... i'm working away at the computer in my room in my PJs, when leigh appeared at my door and whispered "lara... come quick... it's SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!"
you have to understand that leigh grew up in texas and i grew up in southwest tennessee, so while most 20-something year olds are tired of snow and all the cleanup, ice scraping, and crazy driving situations it entails, i've really only lived in places that get snow for the past 8 years, and leigh only for the last 4.
so while most people (including our third housemate colleen, who comes from minnesota) seem to dread days like today, this morning began with an hour of bouncing and oohing and ahhing with my housemate leigh while we admired flurries.
no matter how busy, a day that starts with snow will be wonderful. :)
happy first-NJ-snow-of-the-year if you're close... happy-monday-before-thanksgiving to all!!!! :)
today, i woke up to a very long to do list, that i'm not even sure i'll finish in the next THREE days, much less today... i'm working away at the computer in my room in my PJs, when leigh appeared at my door and whispered "lara... come quick... it's SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!"
you have to understand that leigh grew up in texas and i grew up in southwest tennessee, so while most 20-something year olds are tired of snow and all the cleanup, ice scraping, and crazy driving situations it entails, i've really only lived in places that get snow for the past 8 years, and leigh only for the last 4.
so while most people (including our third housemate colleen, who comes from minnesota) seem to dread days like today, this morning began with an hour of bouncing and oohing and ahhing with my housemate leigh while we admired flurries.
no matter how busy, a day that starts with snow will be wonderful. :)
happy first-NJ-snow-of-the-year if you're close... happy-monday-before-thanksgiving to all!!!! :)
Thursday, November 15, 2007
sunshine...
i had an intriguing chat with the department graduate secretary this afternoon. i think it's incredibly valuable to have friends and acquaintances who can see the you you want to be inside of you, and it's amazing when they can see it at times when you don't suspect it.
to elaborate:
i feel like i should explain a little of my personality. on meyers-briggs tests, i traditionally run the line between INFJ and ENFJ. in one description of ENFJ personality types i've found online, it reads "Many ENFJs have tremendous power to manipulate others with their phenomenal interpersonal skills and unique salesmanship. But it's usually not meant as manipulation -- ENFJs generally believe in their dreams, and see themselves as helpers and enablers, which they usually are.".
this is somewhat apt. i spend a lot of time talking to a lot of people about all kinds of things. when i walk through the floor of the math building where all the secretaries and support staff work, it's not uncommon for me to stop by 2 or 3 doors and just stick my head in to say "hi (insert name)! how's it going? you having a good week? anything exciting going on this weekend?" i do this to selected professors too. in fact, when i visit the building where i've worked the past three summers, even the custodial staff randomly sit down and chat with me (i let them sneak free food out of REU lunches for years and ask them regularly how they're doing, so we have a rapport ;) )... all this random interaction just to say hi to people is part of who i am.
in my head, this is nothing more than: (1) i like it when people take time to say hi to me (2) i find it frustrating when people give me lots to do without taking the time to be genuine and kind too. i'm a person, not a machine, and i try to treat others how i'd like to be treated. (3) smiles go a long way to making things nicer, for me, hopefully for the people around me, and for the environment in general...
from time to time though, i'm told i've mastered the "art of schmoozing", and people aren't always convinced i'm genuine, or they claim that i do these things because i crave attention, which is not my understanding of myself at all. so then it sends me into a self-analytical "what motivates me to do what i do" streak for awhile.
anyhow, today was the graduate secretary's last day before transfering to a new job in a different department next week. i knew this for 2 weeks, and had stopped by periodically to chat, making especially a point to stop by this afternoon before she was gone. when i stuck my head in the door, she was meeting with a professor, and i said i would come back later, but she interrupted me and said to the professor "i think we were about done, and this is important, lara's one of my favorites, and i've GOT to chat with her today. are we good?"
once the prof left, she gave me a hug, and went on to tell me that she sees a lot of herself in me when she's seen me all smiling and being friendly to her... she said she comes in every day trying to start off with a good attitude and being nice to everyone (which she does, she's awesome, and that's why i like stopping by her office to chat...)
then she said that she wanted to thank me... to quote "more times than you'll ever know, so many other people and things going on in this department have made me sad or stressed out when i'm trying to keep a good attitude. it makes it hard to stay happy and focused sometimes, but you just stick your head in here and smile at me and say hi, and it's often been my sunshine on otherwise stressful days. just so you know, i WILL keep in touch with you, and thank you for always sharing your smile with me"
this paragraph absolutely floored me. i know what my intentions are when i spend time chatting with staff and professors, and i also realize that from time to time others don't get it. but to hear that me just "being me" made a difference... it makes me happy. :)
on the other hand, another professor who i was chatting with this afternoon told me that i'm too young to be analyzing my motivations so seriously all the time, and that "it sounded good at the time" should be good enough for me. maybe it's just part of how i'm wired, but that's not good enough explanation for me. i'm all about being intentional and as genuine as i can be. i don't necessarily pull it off successfully all the time, but it makes me feel good that at least one person in her interactions with me, saw me not haphazardly, and not as fake or as a schmoozer, but as the kind and cheerful ideal me i wish i knew how to always be.
the end.
to elaborate:
i feel like i should explain a little of my personality. on meyers-briggs tests, i traditionally run the line between INFJ and ENFJ. in one description of ENFJ personality types i've found online, it reads "Many ENFJs have tremendous power to manipulate others with their phenomenal interpersonal skills and unique salesmanship. But it's usually not meant as manipulation -- ENFJs generally believe in their dreams, and see themselves as helpers and enablers, which they usually are.".
this is somewhat apt. i spend a lot of time talking to a lot of people about all kinds of things. when i walk through the floor of the math building where all the secretaries and support staff work, it's not uncommon for me to stop by 2 or 3 doors and just stick my head in to say "hi (insert name)! how's it going? you having a good week? anything exciting going on this weekend?" i do this to selected professors too. in fact, when i visit the building where i've worked the past three summers, even the custodial staff randomly sit down and chat with me (i let them sneak free food out of REU lunches for years and ask them regularly how they're doing, so we have a rapport ;) )... all this random interaction just to say hi to people is part of who i am.
in my head, this is nothing more than: (1) i like it when people take time to say hi to me (2) i find it frustrating when people give me lots to do without taking the time to be genuine and kind too. i'm a person, not a machine, and i try to treat others how i'd like to be treated. (3) smiles go a long way to making things nicer, for me, hopefully for the people around me, and for the environment in general...
from time to time though, i'm told i've mastered the "art of schmoozing", and people aren't always convinced i'm genuine, or they claim that i do these things because i crave attention, which is not my understanding of myself at all. so then it sends me into a self-analytical "what motivates me to do what i do" streak for awhile.
anyhow, today was the graduate secretary's last day before transfering to a new job in a different department next week. i knew this for 2 weeks, and had stopped by periodically to chat, making especially a point to stop by this afternoon before she was gone. when i stuck my head in the door, she was meeting with a professor, and i said i would come back later, but she interrupted me and said to the professor "i think we were about done, and this is important, lara's one of my favorites, and i've GOT to chat with her today. are we good?"
once the prof left, she gave me a hug, and went on to tell me that she sees a lot of herself in me when she's seen me all smiling and being friendly to her... she said she comes in every day trying to start off with a good attitude and being nice to everyone (which she does, she's awesome, and that's why i like stopping by her office to chat...)
then she said that she wanted to thank me... to quote "more times than you'll ever know, so many other people and things going on in this department have made me sad or stressed out when i'm trying to keep a good attitude. it makes it hard to stay happy and focused sometimes, but you just stick your head in here and smile at me and say hi, and it's often been my sunshine on otherwise stressful days. just so you know, i WILL keep in touch with you, and thank you for always sharing your smile with me"
this paragraph absolutely floored me. i know what my intentions are when i spend time chatting with staff and professors, and i also realize that from time to time others don't get it. but to hear that me just "being me" made a difference... it makes me happy. :)
on the other hand, another professor who i was chatting with this afternoon told me that i'm too young to be analyzing my motivations so seriously all the time, and that "it sounded good at the time" should be good enough for me. maybe it's just part of how i'm wired, but that's not good enough explanation for me. i'm all about being intentional and as genuine as i can be. i don't necessarily pull it off successfully all the time, but it makes me feel good that at least one person in her interactions with me, saw me not haphazardly, and not as fake or as a schmoozer, but as the kind and cheerful ideal me i wish i knew how to always be.
the end.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
absolutely brilliant!
check this out: http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=931
my favorite part: "...it is not possible to know where a grad student is and where it is going at the same time."
this is most certainly true. ;)
my favorite part: "...it is not possible to know where a grad student is and where it is going at the same time."
this is most certainly true. ;)
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
food for thought
i've been thinking a lot about purpose and other such things the past couple months, and came across this quote yesterday:
"The nature of human beings is to be inactive unless influenced by some affection: love or hatred, desire, hope, fear, etc. These affections are the "springs of action," the things that set us moving in our lives, that move us to engage in activities. When we look at the world, we see that people are exceedingly busy. It is their affections that keep them busy."
thus, question one: what do your activities say about what matters to you?
more than that... i think it's possible for two people to do the exact same thing with very different motivation, so question 2: what motivates you to do the things you do?
final question: what do you consider important to you that didn't make the cut above? what is on the list of motivations and activities that says things about you that you wish it didn't?
i'd like to think that i do things because i love what i do, not out of hatred, or fear, or greed, or pride. being human, nothing is ever 100% perfect, but still that's my goal. and when people claim my motivations are otherwise, it really makes me think...
nothing profound or mindbending to share... i just found it intriguing to think of the relationship between how i prioritize my time, what motivates me to prioritize it that way, and how well it matches up with the "ideal me" that lives in my head.
...and now, i really like the above quote. :)
the end.
"The nature of human beings is to be inactive unless influenced by some affection: love or hatred, desire, hope, fear, etc. These affections are the "springs of action," the things that set us moving in our lives, that move us to engage in activities. When we look at the world, we see that people are exceedingly busy. It is their affections that keep them busy."
thus, question one: what do your activities say about what matters to you?
more than that... i think it's possible for two people to do the exact same thing with very different motivation, so question 2: what motivates you to do the things you do?
final question: what do you consider important to you that didn't make the cut above? what is on the list of motivations and activities that says things about you that you wish it didn't?
i'd like to think that i do things because i love what i do, not out of hatred, or fear, or greed, or pride. being human, nothing is ever 100% perfect, but still that's my goal. and when people claim my motivations are otherwise, it really makes me think...
nothing profound or mindbending to share... i just found it intriguing to think of the relationship between how i prioritize my time, what motivates me to prioritize it that way, and how well it matches up with the "ideal me" that lives in my head.
...and now, i really like the above quote. :)
the end.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
busy, busy....
i've somehow survived grading the first round of midterms for the semester, and still gotten everything else on my to do list for the week done on time!
earlier this evening:
me: baxter, you know how at the beginning of the semester my to do list of everything i've gotten myself into lately seemed incredibly daunting, and i was worried i was going to go crazy or something?
baxter: yup
me: well, now, guess what!
baxter: you've gotten a rhythm down?
me: yup! and actually, now occasionally i'm starting to wonder why i was so worried. i think if i wanted, i could fit even more in!
baxter: but please please don't!
me: because?
baxter: because i already get dizzy thinking of all the stuff you do, and i don't want to get dizzier imagining more.
this from a guy who insisted on getting the "women's only blast" added to his smoothie at the coffee shop tonight. doht.
the end.
earlier this evening:
me: baxter, you know how at the beginning of the semester my to do list of everything i've gotten myself into lately seemed incredibly daunting, and i was worried i was going to go crazy or something?
baxter: yup
me: well, now, guess what!
baxter: you've gotten a rhythm down?
me: yup! and actually, now occasionally i'm starting to wonder why i was so worried. i think if i wanted, i could fit even more in!
baxter: but please please don't!
me: because?
baxter: because i already get dizzy thinking of all the stuff you do, and i don't want to get dizzier imagining more.
this from a guy who insisted on getting the "women's only blast" added to his smoothie at the coffee shop tonight. doht.
the end.
Friday, October 05, 2007
what is a leader?
this question has come up in various forms throughout this week. be forewarned... long multi-faceted rant follows:
(1) personally, i've gotten involved in many more responsibilities this year than most people would be willing to take on, and what gets me up in the morning to do them all is that i believe i'm making a positive difference, at least in my corner of the world. am i always happy? no. am i as full of energy about things as i come off in public? definitely not. but i conscientiously do each major thing i do for a reason...
* i want to have as positive of an attitude as i can with my students so that they are comfortable to approach me with questions when they're stuck on things; i want each of them to learn how to work hard to succeed, and i recognize that success is measured different ways for different students. i strive for them to see me as someone cheering for them and willing to help them be their personal best. some days i pull this off a lot better than others.
* i spend a LOT of time writing careful comments to my students when grading, because although it's long and tedious, i view grading as a sort of conversation to help them understand the things they missed the first time around...
* i agree to help organize teaching workshops, seminars, and other things because i know that i pay close attention to details, and can keep things rolling without other people having to stress about things.
* i've agreed to be involved at various things in my church where i've been asked to help because i really do enjoy helping with organization and facilitating groups of people. again, i try to be approachable to be useful where i can be...
i work very hard at a lot of things, not to be recognized for them, but because i take pride/joy in knowing a job has been done well. my energy is fed from meeting the needs of others and/or helping unite them. occasionally when i talk about something or another i've been up to (as happened a few days ago), some of my peers take it as "she's bragging that she does so much". this often takes me aback; people who know me well realize this is the farthest thing from my mind. balancing enthusiasm for things i'm up to lately with phrasing my enthusaism in a way that doesn't ever bother others is something i'm constantly aware of. i'd rather be a leader in doing things well, than a bragger, thus hinding my effectiveness....
(2) this same topic came up again this afternoon. a former rutgers phd student who graduated last spring was back visiting and said to me "you realize none of the things you do now will matter a single bit when you graduate", to which one of my friends replied "if she goes into a strict research job, sure, but what if she goes somewhere that wants good teachers".
this former rutgers student conceeded, but pointed out "hey lara, you do realize that student in lectures with good professors only outscore students in lectures with bad professors on average by 10%... is that significant enough of a difference for you to put THAT much more time into your teaching?!?"
i responded "i think differences in grades aside, students with good professors who care about them learn to develop a much better ATTITUDE about learning than students with self-proclaimed bad professors", which totally took him aback.
until i have evidence to the contrary (and actually i think i have bits of evidence in favor of it), to me, it's worth it to try to foster good attitudes and enthusaism in my students, whether they be A students, B students, C students, or downright struggling. when it comes down to it, i think i would be more happy trying to teach a room of C students who are sincerely trying to understand and keep a good attitude, rather than a room full of talented but cynical A students. my goal is to help give them the ability to be optimistic and enthusaistic about their education. so on that note, i have to keep believing that i can make a difference. it's what keeps me going with the energy level i currently run at.
both (1) and (2) are just to say: the issue of purpose and "what's the difference between making a difference and just being busy for the sake of being busy?" have been on my mind lately.... now for a seeming 180 degree turn...
(3) in a completely different context, the memphis mayoral election was yesterday. i'm still registered to vote in memphis and voted absentee a month ago. however, the current incumbent was elected to an unprecedented 5th term. not that wikipedia is a perfect refernence, but i think the fact that a full 1/3 of his current article says:
"In recent times, Herenton has faced mounting criticism from citizens and other observers, who have charged that he has, among the following:
is fairly telling...
quote from the Commercial Appeal newspaper article on his election victory
interestingly enough, the headline on the day of the election was:
Memphis leads U.S. in violent crime. thanks willie... in 16 years, this is where we've gotten.
i'm generally really proud to be from memphis. however, the fact that 42% of the popular vote went to herenton and put him in office again when he has clearly stated people who are unhappy with him can leave, that he can't fix crime (sure no one completely can fix it on their own, but you can make an effort...), that his acceptance speech last night was more of "me, me, me, stop the people who don't like me" rather than "here's what i, as mayor, can do to serve you", makes me ashamed to be from a place that would vote him back in after such blatant comments.
so i ask, what is a leader?
the most basic definition is "one who leads others", and lead, at its most basic, means, "the boss".
but what is an effective leader? i asked google to help me on this. many definitions in many contexts include some aspect of encouraging unity and inspiring people, even those who disagree with you. such as:
* leadership is 'the lifting of people's vision to a higher sight, the raising of their performance to a higher standard, the building of their personality beyond its normal limitations'
* leadership means working with and through people by providing them with a vision of the future which is meaningful to them and motivating. Leadership is both strategic and pragmatic and encourages all members of a team to deliver their best as an individual and as a team member.
* leadership is evidenced by effective attempts to influence others.
* leadership is coping with change, focusing on objectives, developing strategies and inspiring the organization to move in the same direction. Demonstrates a positive attitude toward the organization, other staff, and its constituents. Serves as a role model.
i'm sorry to mayor herenton, but i've seen you influence a particular sector of the city, and totally trash the rest. developing strategies to inspire the city to move in the same direction? i don't see "shake the haters" doing that... rather than inspiring the best in those you represent, you tell those who disagree with you to move out. responding to "what do you plan to do about divisions in the city?" with "i didn't divide them" doesn't show vision, it shows shirking blame and refusing to act....
i was ranting on the phone with my dad earlier and he pointed out that less than half the city actually voted in the election. he commented "people have become so apathetic that they figure they can't make a difference, whereas if that 60% had actually voted, perhaps we could see morris or chumney in office right now instead..." and that's the thing. maybe the election could have gone differently, maybe not, but the people who didn't vote at all totally outnumber the people who voted yesterday. no matter what they supported, if they would have gone out and voted, collectively they DO have the power to institute change. they don't have to run for mayor or have a grand plan to fix it, they just need to believe that their vote counts, that they can make a difference.
my mom brought up the point "so, we can either be haters and move out based on our unhappiness or stay put and make a difference where we already are in a place that's hurting and needs all the people trying to make things better that it can get." it's a decision every individual has to make, and i see credit to both. you can make a difference in a place that's hurting and continue to strive and hope for change, or you can go somewhere where you can make a difference more effectively without being hampered by biggers powers that be. both are valid...
but end of long rambly paragraphs. i think my point is this.
(3) my disgust for the memphis election outcome this week brings up a key example of someone many consider to be a divisive and egotistical leader doing more harm than good. it is possible to be in a position of power, and not truly be a leader in the ideal sense of the word.
(2) i think it's also possible to have the influencing qualities of a good leader without necessarily being in a position of power. the people you meet and interact with from day to day are your community, and you have the power to make things better for them one act of kindness, or inspiration, or helpfulness at a time, or to let things be, or to hassle them.
(1) it's possible to be busy for the sake of being busy, but it's also possible to channel being busy into making a difference for those around you.
this is why i currently absolutely love Nichole Nordeman's song "Legacy". it's not something i can say i have down, but it's a goal i'm continually working for to keep my "busyness" in check... Lyrics:
I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such’n'such ... it wouldn't matter much
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
you don't even have to be Christian or religious and agree with all the lines of the chorus, i think the conclusion i've come to in the past several week of busyness is:
when you choose to take the time to do a job well, or invest in others, or just show love instead of indifference or hate, you're already being a leader amongst your neighbors and peers. what we could use more of is people who believe just that: not in all the pride and awards and "stuff" they can accumulate, but in their abilty to wake up and make a difference for *someone* they meet in some way each and every day.
done ranting. really. reactions?
the end.
(1) personally, i've gotten involved in many more responsibilities this year than most people would be willing to take on, and what gets me up in the morning to do them all is that i believe i'm making a positive difference, at least in my corner of the world. am i always happy? no. am i as full of energy about things as i come off in public? definitely not. but i conscientiously do each major thing i do for a reason...
* i want to have as positive of an attitude as i can with my students so that they are comfortable to approach me with questions when they're stuck on things; i want each of them to learn how to work hard to succeed, and i recognize that success is measured different ways for different students. i strive for them to see me as someone cheering for them and willing to help them be their personal best. some days i pull this off a lot better than others.
* i spend a LOT of time writing careful comments to my students when grading, because although it's long and tedious, i view grading as a sort of conversation to help them understand the things they missed the first time around...
* i agree to help organize teaching workshops, seminars, and other things because i know that i pay close attention to details, and can keep things rolling without other people having to stress about things.
* i've agreed to be involved at various things in my church where i've been asked to help because i really do enjoy helping with organization and facilitating groups of people. again, i try to be approachable to be useful where i can be...
i work very hard at a lot of things, not to be recognized for them, but because i take pride/joy in knowing a job has been done well. my energy is fed from meeting the needs of others and/or helping unite them. occasionally when i talk about something or another i've been up to (as happened a few days ago), some of my peers take it as "she's bragging that she does so much". this often takes me aback; people who know me well realize this is the farthest thing from my mind. balancing enthusiasm for things i'm up to lately with phrasing my enthusaism in a way that doesn't ever bother others is something i'm constantly aware of. i'd rather be a leader in doing things well, than a bragger, thus hinding my effectiveness....
(2) this same topic came up again this afternoon. a former rutgers phd student who graduated last spring was back visiting and said to me "you realize none of the things you do now will matter a single bit when you graduate", to which one of my friends replied "if she goes into a strict research job, sure, but what if she goes somewhere that wants good teachers".
this former rutgers student conceeded, but pointed out "hey lara, you do realize that student in lectures with good professors only outscore students in lectures with bad professors on average by 10%... is that significant enough of a difference for you to put THAT much more time into your teaching?!?"
i responded "i think differences in grades aside, students with good professors who care about them learn to develop a much better ATTITUDE about learning than students with self-proclaimed bad professors", which totally took him aback.
until i have evidence to the contrary (and actually i think i have bits of evidence in favor of it), to me, it's worth it to try to foster good attitudes and enthusaism in my students, whether they be A students, B students, C students, or downright struggling. when it comes down to it, i think i would be more happy trying to teach a room of C students who are sincerely trying to understand and keep a good attitude, rather than a room full of talented but cynical A students. my goal is to help give them the ability to be optimistic and enthusaistic about their education. so on that note, i have to keep believing that i can make a difference. it's what keeps me going with the energy level i currently run at.
both (1) and (2) are just to say: the issue of purpose and "what's the difference between making a difference and just being busy for the sake of being busy?" have been on my mind lately.... now for a seeming 180 degree turn...
(3) in a completely different context, the memphis mayoral election was yesterday. i'm still registered to vote in memphis and voted absentee a month ago. however, the current incumbent was elected to an unprecedented 5th term. not that wikipedia is a perfect refernence, but i think the fact that a full 1/3 of his current article says:
"In recent times, Herenton has faced mounting criticism from citizens and other observers, who have charged that he has, among the following:
- Failed to ensure sound fiscal management of the City of Memphis
- Failed to communicate effectively with the City Council
- Failed to address multiple allegations of improprieties regarding Memphis Light Gas and Water
- Served as the prime target and catalyst for the City Charter rewrite
- Angered citizens to the point of becoming a target of a citizen recall effort
- Done little in response to the significant rise in crime under his leadership, stating that "No mayor in any American city can solve the crime problem."
- Stated that those who don't like the way he has served as mayor can move out of Memphis."
is fairly telling...
quote from the Commercial Appeal newspaper article on his election victory
"This last election has been very disappointing to me," he said. "A lot of people I thought were with me, and I found out they were not with me, and that's a concern. ... There are some mean-spirited people in Memphis. There are some haters in Memphis!"
The crowd at his victory party responded with shouts of "Shake 'em off! Shake 'em off!"
interestingly enough, the headline on the day of the election was:
Memphis leads U.S. in violent crime. thanks willie... in 16 years, this is where we've gotten.
i'm generally really proud to be from memphis. however, the fact that 42% of the popular vote went to herenton and put him in office again when he has clearly stated people who are unhappy with him can leave, that he can't fix crime (sure no one completely can fix it on their own, but you can make an effort...), that his acceptance speech last night was more of "me, me, me, stop the people who don't like me" rather than "here's what i, as mayor, can do to serve you", makes me ashamed to be from a place that would vote him back in after such blatant comments.
so i ask, what is a leader?
the most basic definition is "one who leads others", and lead, at its most basic, means, "the boss".
but what is an effective leader? i asked google to help me on this. many definitions in many contexts include some aspect of encouraging unity and inspiring people, even those who disagree with you. such as:
* leadership is 'the lifting of people's vision to a higher sight, the raising of their performance to a higher standard, the building of their personality beyond its normal limitations'
* leadership means working with and through people by providing them with a vision of the future which is meaningful to them and motivating. Leadership is both strategic and pragmatic and encourages all members of a team to deliver their best as an individual and as a team member.
* leadership is evidenced by effective attempts to influence others.
* leadership is coping with change, focusing on objectives, developing strategies and inspiring the organization to move in the same direction. Demonstrates a positive attitude toward the organization, other staff, and its constituents. Serves as a role model.
i'm sorry to mayor herenton, but i've seen you influence a particular sector of the city, and totally trash the rest. developing strategies to inspire the city to move in the same direction? i don't see "shake the haters" doing that... rather than inspiring the best in those you represent, you tell those who disagree with you to move out. responding to "what do you plan to do about divisions in the city?" with "i didn't divide them" doesn't show vision, it shows shirking blame and refusing to act....
i was ranting on the phone with my dad earlier and he pointed out that less than half the city actually voted in the election. he commented "people have become so apathetic that they figure they can't make a difference, whereas if that 60% had actually voted, perhaps we could see morris or chumney in office right now instead..." and that's the thing. maybe the election could have gone differently, maybe not, but the people who didn't vote at all totally outnumber the people who voted yesterday. no matter what they supported, if they would have gone out and voted, collectively they DO have the power to institute change. they don't have to run for mayor or have a grand plan to fix it, they just need to believe that their vote counts, that they can make a difference.
my mom brought up the point "so, we can either be haters and move out based on our unhappiness or stay put and make a difference where we already are in a place that's hurting and needs all the people trying to make things better that it can get." it's a decision every individual has to make, and i see credit to both. you can make a difference in a place that's hurting and continue to strive and hope for change, or you can go somewhere where you can make a difference more effectively without being hampered by biggers powers that be. both are valid...
but end of long rambly paragraphs. i think my point is this.
(3) my disgust for the memphis election outcome this week brings up a key example of someone many consider to be a divisive and egotistical leader doing more harm than good. it is possible to be in a position of power, and not truly be a leader in the ideal sense of the word.
(2) i think it's also possible to have the influencing qualities of a good leader without necessarily being in a position of power. the people you meet and interact with from day to day are your community, and you have the power to make things better for them one act of kindness, or inspiration, or helpfulness at a time, or to let things be, or to hassle them.
(1) it's possible to be busy for the sake of being busy, but it's also possible to channel being busy into making a difference for those around you.
this is why i currently absolutely love Nichole Nordeman's song "Legacy". it's not something i can say i have down, but it's a goal i'm continually working for to keep my "busyness" in check... Lyrics:
I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such’n'such ... it wouldn't matter much
I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
you don't even have to be Christian or religious and agree with all the lines of the chorus, i think the conclusion i've come to in the past several week of busyness is:
when you choose to take the time to do a job well, or invest in others, or just show love instead of indifference or hate, you're already being a leader amongst your neighbors and peers. what we could use more of is people who believe just that: not in all the pride and awards and "stuff" they can accumulate, but in their abilty to wake up and make a difference for *someone* they meet in some way each and every day.
done ranting. really. reactions?
the end.
Monday, October 01, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
how true it is...
for the uninitiate, phd comics is a brilliant strip dedicated to life in grad school. this particular one from 9 years ago is particularly telling:
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=39
here it is monday morning, and i wake up and notice that i'm out of breakfast food and nearly out of non-breakfast food in the kitchen. for the average person, grocery shopping would be in order, but then i started thinking about my week:
monday lunch: going to a seminar that includes free food
wednesday lunch: going to a meeting that includes free food
friday lunch: going to another seminar that includes pizza
further, i have lots of weekly things scheduled that while not free, happen every week and don't encourage grocery shopping:
monday dinner: eric and i usually go out to eat and catch up on life on tuesdays, but my tuesday is busy this week so it moved up a day
tuesday lunch: baxter and i always get together and eat at the student center for the same reason as i get together with eric
wednesday dinner: i teach until 6:30 and then have a 7-9pm study meeting at a coffee shop that makes good sandwiches, so that's generally wednesday dinner
thursday lunch: i have office hours from 10-12 and teach at 12:15, so i just grab something on the run on campus
thursday dinner: generally after the 5-6pm seminar my advisor runs, we all go out to eat.
finally, this week, tuesday, my weekly bible study crew is going out to eat to hang out for a week instead of just meeting at church, so that's one more meal covered out of the house.
so out of the 10 weekday meals (lunch/dinner for 5 days), 3 are free for me, and 6 are time commitments outside of the house... that leaves friday dinner the first chance to eat at home all week! grocery shopping? eh... it can wait another week.
is this healthy? not necessarily, but it's an appreciation of that that motivates strips like this one:
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=582
hooray for free food and friends? happy monday all!
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=39
here it is monday morning, and i wake up and notice that i'm out of breakfast food and nearly out of non-breakfast food in the kitchen. for the average person, grocery shopping would be in order, but then i started thinking about my week:
monday lunch: going to a seminar that includes free food
wednesday lunch: going to a meeting that includes free food
friday lunch: going to another seminar that includes pizza
further, i have lots of weekly things scheduled that while not free, happen every week and don't encourage grocery shopping:
monday dinner: eric and i usually go out to eat and catch up on life on tuesdays, but my tuesday is busy this week so it moved up a day
tuesday lunch: baxter and i always get together and eat at the student center for the same reason as i get together with eric
wednesday dinner: i teach until 6:30 and then have a 7-9pm study meeting at a coffee shop that makes good sandwiches, so that's generally wednesday dinner
thursday lunch: i have office hours from 10-12 and teach at 12:15, so i just grab something on the run on campus
thursday dinner: generally after the 5-6pm seminar my advisor runs, we all go out to eat.
finally, this week, tuesday, my weekly bible study crew is going out to eat to hang out for a week instead of just meeting at church, so that's one more meal covered out of the house.
so out of the 10 weekday meals (lunch/dinner for 5 days), 3 are free for me, and 6 are time commitments outside of the house... that leaves friday dinner the first chance to eat at home all week! grocery shopping? eh... it can wait another week.
is this healthy? not necessarily, but it's an appreciation of that that motivates strips like this one:
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=582
hooray for free food and friends? happy monday all!
Thursday, September 20, 2007
people are funny...
today was super busy but good... wednesday afternoon through thursday night of my life this semester seems to run by in a total blur... it's nonstop running around to get stuff done....i "teach" (more like coordinate and take attendance for) an intro to teaching course on wednesday, and go straight from there to a weekly 2 hour study meeting with my friends baxter and eric... i get home around 9:30, and leave the house again by 9:30 at the latest thursday for office hours, immediately followed by teaching, immediately followed by research meeting, with half an hour to get things done on my own terms before the seminar i help my advisor run. by the time i sit still again it's minimum 6:30pm, often not until 8:30.... but so it goes.
today was fun for a few reasons in particular.
(1) my advisor gave today's seminar. he's a very energetic/dramatic speaker. he talked about the mathematics of the jewish calendar.... and used it to claim that the phrase "let there be light!" was spoken at 11:10:20pm on monday, september 7, in some 3000+ BCE year.... and also to show that although the current computations that go into the jewish calendar keep passover in the spring and rosh hashanah in the fall, in the year 20,830 or so (i didn't write down the correct year from the talk, but it was definitely in the 20,000s), rosh hashanah and christmas will coincide... so it's a pretty good approximation calendar for several thousand years, but even with such a good calendar, eventually the approximations involved creep in and screw things up, given enough time. :) this was entertaining.
(2) when a speaker comes visiting from another school, we generally take them out to eat... since my advisor obviously wasn't visiting from elsewhere, he didn't take us out to eat; however i managed to collect several people for dinner anyhow... my friends baxter and aek were practically given... aek brought his roommate tom, i brought dan (a new postdoc) and dimitrije (conference friend from other places who now teaches in NJ and was visiting), and another new guy from israel came along too... me, 6 math guys, and thai food. the fact that i consider list colorings of graphs and parking functions to be interesting dinner conversation does make me a geek... doesn't it?
(3) speaking of which, post-dinner, i allowed myself to be a vegetable for the first time in awhile. the season premeire of beauty and the geek was on. i watch it because it makes me laugh. they asked one of the "geeks" in the show auditions "describe your ideal woman", to which he responded, ".... well if she can solve a partial differential equation, that definitely gives her bonus points!...".... another answered "of course i don't have a girlfriend!... math makes me very excited." both of which had me absolutely in stitches.
one thing that generally entertains me about this show, even if it is a lot of sillyness sometimes, is that i, as a math grad student, relate a LOT more to the guys on the show, rather than the "beauties"... and this season they did something they should have done earlier... there are 9 teams in the usual format: geeky guy, beautiful girl... but they added a 10th team with a male actor/model/"party planner" teamed with a female grad student. the guy will compete with the other girls... the grad student girl will compete with the other guys... i'm curious to see how this pans out...
not much else of note... tomorrow is busy too; i'm substitute teaching early in the morning for my friend jared, have a meeting with the graduate professor i'm grading for, have a seminar to attend (the powers that be are hijacking graduate pizza seminar to talk about "professional development and the job market"... this can't be a bad thing to hear), and another meeting before i can chill...
sometimes i wonder how on earth i got so busy... and then i remember... i have this thing for not saying no if i think there's the slightest chance i can handle the pressue. doht. :P
onward... happy almost-friday to all!
the end.
today was fun for a few reasons in particular.
(1) my advisor gave today's seminar. he's a very energetic/dramatic speaker. he talked about the mathematics of the jewish calendar.... and used it to claim that the phrase "let there be light!" was spoken at 11:10:20pm on monday, september 7, in some 3000+ BCE year.... and also to show that although the current computations that go into the jewish calendar keep passover in the spring and rosh hashanah in the fall, in the year 20,830 or so (i didn't write down the correct year from the talk, but it was definitely in the 20,000s), rosh hashanah and christmas will coincide... so it's a pretty good approximation calendar for several thousand years, but even with such a good calendar, eventually the approximations involved creep in and screw things up, given enough time. :) this was entertaining.
(2) when a speaker comes visiting from another school, we generally take them out to eat... since my advisor obviously wasn't visiting from elsewhere, he didn't take us out to eat; however i managed to collect several people for dinner anyhow... my friends baxter and aek were practically given... aek brought his roommate tom, i brought dan (a new postdoc) and dimitrije (conference friend from other places who now teaches in NJ and was visiting), and another new guy from israel came along too... me, 6 math guys, and thai food. the fact that i consider list colorings of graphs and parking functions to be interesting dinner conversation does make me a geek... doesn't it?
(3) speaking of which, post-dinner, i allowed myself to be a vegetable for the first time in awhile. the season premeire of beauty and the geek was on. i watch it because it makes me laugh. they asked one of the "geeks" in the show auditions "describe your ideal woman", to which he responded, ".... well if she can solve a partial differential equation, that definitely gives her bonus points!...".... another answered "of course i don't have a girlfriend!... math makes me very excited." both of which had me absolutely in stitches.
one thing that generally entertains me about this show, even if it is a lot of sillyness sometimes, is that i, as a math grad student, relate a LOT more to the guys on the show, rather than the "beauties"... and this season they did something they should have done earlier... there are 9 teams in the usual format: geeky guy, beautiful girl... but they added a 10th team with a male actor/model/"party planner" teamed with a female grad student. the guy will compete with the other girls... the grad student girl will compete with the other guys... i'm curious to see how this pans out...
not much else of note... tomorrow is busy too; i'm substitute teaching early in the morning for my friend jared, have a meeting with the graduate professor i'm grading for, have a seminar to attend (the powers that be are hijacking graduate pizza seminar to talk about "professional development and the job market"... this can't be a bad thing to hear), and another meeting before i can chill...
sometimes i wonder how on earth i got so busy... and then i remember... i have this thing for not saying no if i think there's the slightest chance i can handle the pressue. doht. :P
onward... happy almost-friday to all!
the end.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
prediction...
z (my advisor): lara! thank you! how on earth did you catch that mistake?
me: mmm, nothing big, i was just paying attention
z: i predict that 15 years from now you will be a dean somewhere... or sooner... it's rare to find people as organized as you.
me: and if i don't want to be a dean?
z: then i will be happy, because you're also good at research and i would rather you do that... but you're so nice, maybe you'll agree even if you don't want to do it.
me: really, i am practicing saying "no" more these days...
me: mmm, nothing big, i was just paying attention
z: i predict that 15 years from now you will be a dean somewhere... or sooner... it's rare to find people as organized as you.
me: and if i don't want to be a dean?
z: then i will be happy, because you're also good at research and i would rather you do that... but you're so nice, maybe you'll agree even if you don't want to do it.
me: really, i am practicing saying "no" more these days...
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Sunday, July 29, 2007
purpose...
it's 3pm on sunday in prague. it's a fairly low key day. i'm currently writing (or procrastinating on writing) slides for a talk i'll give at a math conference this week here, and it's extremely overcast.
i've loved the past week. i find it incredibly refreshing to be in europe and away from most of my work and responsibility. being in this part of the world brings back memories of fall 2002 (when i studied in budapest for a semester), which is probably the most intense/best/most influential half year of my life ever. it is good to be here. :)
the magic word of the weekend though seems to be: PURPOSE.
it's come up in two contexts back to back, which i find interesting.
(1) jan and i have laughed all summer how hyper-organized i tend to be, and how i like to have things prepared in advance for work, for research, for presentations.
i can tell you where i will be and more or less what i will 90% chance be doing every day for the next 6 months. on the other hand, often 4 hours from now isn't even on his radar yet, and expecting him to have thought about what's going on a week from now is out of the question. we both operate quite well as we do.
jan recently had me forward a few things to him that were in my personal email account instead of my work one. the signiature on my emails is the following series of 5 quotes:
Jan quickly responded to my email by copying the signiature and commenting:
People in Europe live their lives. People in the USA try to get something out of it, while accomplishing objectives they have chosen for themselves.
This explains somewhat the difference between mine and Jan's mentalities/personalities (I have the goal of keeping a lot of different groups I work with happy; I have a list of things I plan/hope to accomplish in the next few weeks, the next few months, the next few years etc.); Jan seems not to be too concerned with the long term, and takes things as they come one day at a time.
However, ever since his email comment, I've been wondering, is it really a US vs. Europe question? I know many americans who have more of Jan's outlook than mine, so is there a different distinguishing feature besides nationality?
What do you all think???
(2) Purpose in another light:
This morning, Jo (one of my REU students) and I went to international church of prague. next sunday i will miss church because i will be in a different part of europe, but in general, if i can make it to a worshop service, i like to be there. something about taking part in corporate worship, and fellowshipping with other Christians makes my life feel more centered for the week, and it helps remind me to keep my focus where it should be.
anyhow, the sermon today was also about purpose. the guest preacher put up two contrasting quotes to start.
one from bob dylan :
"Now I wish I could write you a melody so plain
That could hold you dear lady from going insane
That could ease you and cool you and cease the pain
Of your useless and pointless knowledge"
and one from the book of hosea:
"...my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge." (hosea 4:6)
normally you'd expect the other way around maybe -- there are parts of the world (that i'm extremely familiar with) where knowledge is practically a god, and there are groups of religious people who seem to push away from knowledge and keep things simple because knowing too much might mess with their currently compact view of the world.
the ultimate summary of the sermon was: with knowledge of God's creative power and His salvation plan, life suddenly takes on a very different purpose than without knowing these things.
whether you, my blog reader, are religious or not, surely you agree that when people take religion seriously, it affects their world view, so this should seem totally plausible too, whether it is a part of your personal perspective or not.
Wrapping things up:
In the last 24 hours it's been suggested that purpose comes from national mentality, and that it comes from religion. It just makes me think:
What is your purpose? Where does it come from? What do you think are the most influential factors in finding purpose for people in general?
1,2,3, react! :)
i've loved the past week. i find it incredibly refreshing to be in europe and away from most of my work and responsibility. being in this part of the world brings back memories of fall 2002 (when i studied in budapest for a semester), which is probably the most intense/best/most influential half year of my life ever. it is good to be here. :)
the magic word of the weekend though seems to be: PURPOSE.
it's come up in two contexts back to back, which i find interesting.
(1) jan and i have laughed all summer how hyper-organized i tend to be, and how i like to have things prepared in advance for work, for research, for presentations.
i can tell you where i will be and more or less what i will 90% chance be doing every day for the next 6 months. on the other hand, often 4 hours from now isn't even on his radar yet, and expecting him to have thought about what's going on a week from now is out of the question. we both operate quite well as we do.
jan recently had me forward a few things to him that were in my personal email account instead of my work one. the signiature on my emails is the following series of 5 quotes:
Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. ~George Bernard Shaw
Too many people overvalue what they are not & undervalue what they are. ~Malcom Forbes
I've got a great ambition to die of exhaustion rather than boredom. ~Thomas Carlyle
Be who you are & say what you feel because those who mind don't matter & those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Every job is a self-portrait of the person who does it. Autograph your work with excellence. ~Anonymous
Too many people overvalue what they are not & undervalue what they are. ~Malcom Forbes
I've got a great ambition to die of exhaustion rather than boredom. ~Thomas Carlyle
Be who you are & say what you feel because those who mind don't matter & those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Every job is a self-portrait of the person who does it. Autograph your work with excellence. ~Anonymous
Jan quickly responded to my email by copying the signiature and commenting:
People in Europe live their lives. People in the USA try to get something out of it, while accomplishing objectives they have chosen for themselves.
This explains somewhat the difference between mine and Jan's mentalities/personalities (I have the goal of keeping a lot of different groups I work with happy; I have a list of things I plan/hope to accomplish in the next few weeks, the next few months, the next few years etc.); Jan seems not to be too concerned with the long term, and takes things as they come one day at a time.
What do you all think???
(2) Purpose in another light:
This morning, Jo (one of my REU students) and I went to international church of prague. next sunday i will miss church because i will be in a different part of europe, but in general, if i can make it to a worshop service, i like to be there. something about taking part in corporate worship, and fellowshipping with other Christians makes my life feel more centered for the week, and it helps remind me to keep my focus where it should be.
anyhow, the sermon today was also about purpose. the guest preacher put up two contrasting quotes to start.
one from bob dylan :
"Now I wish I could write you a melody so plain
That could hold you dear lady from going insane
That could ease you and cool you and cease the pain
Of your useless and pointless knowledge"
and one from the book of hosea:
"...my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge." (hosea 4:6)
normally you'd expect the other way around maybe -- there are parts of the world (that i'm extremely familiar with) where knowledge is practically a god, and there are groups of religious people who seem to push away from knowledge and keep things simple because knowing too much might mess with their currently compact view of the world.
the ultimate summary of the sermon was: with knowledge of God's creative power and His salvation plan, life suddenly takes on a very different purpose than without knowing these things.
whether you, my blog reader, are religious or not, surely you agree that when people take religion seriously, it affects their world view, so this should seem totally plausible too, whether it is a part of your personal perspective or not.
Wrapping things up:
In the last 24 hours it's been suggested that purpose comes from national mentality, and that it comes from religion. It just makes me think:
What is your purpose? Where does it come from? What do you think are the most influential factors in finding purpose for people in general?
1,2,3, react! :)
Thursday, July 26, 2007
perspective
today was like an ideal "relaxing" day in prague. post-math talks, i hung out for a little with my students. when i announced i was headed to the train station to buy my ticket to budapest for a few weeks from now, jan said he wanted to come with me because he likes going to the train station to look at trains. strange though it sounds, apparently it's true... while we were there he took like 2 dozen picutres of trains... go figure.
post-train station fun, we went to a park, got some beers (what else does one drink in czech republic?) and chatted for a bit. later, i went to an organ concert, but when i came back by the math offices to get my backpack (which i'd left earlier), he was still there and was up for dinner and watching "matrix 2". apparently the czech grad students set up the large math auditorium as a movie theater from time to time for fun since they generally don't own TVs themselves. we ran the movie off of my laptop and broadcasted it on the auditorium projection screen for just the two of us. (we watched matrix 1 at my house in NJ last week, and plan to watch matrix 3 here in prague next week).
anyhow, it's not that i did anything particularly extraordinary, or that i went somewhere particularly excitingly historic (except the church for the organ concert, which i've been to many times before :) ). it was just fun to hang out and chat with a friend about so many random things all day.
anyhow, enough rambling. the title of this post refers to the following. while jan and i were chatting and drinking in the park we were comparing how little europeans distinguish between states/american geography, and how the same is true for americans thinking about europe. as an illustration, here are 4 maps. in defense of my europe, i could draw things slightly better if i put in effort, (i do realize that countries are not oval-shaped blobs and i can place more of them), but not nearly as convincingly as jan of course...
enjoy:
Jan's USA:
my USA:
my czech republic and neighboring countries:
Jan's czech republic and neighboring countries:
how telling is that? :)
night y'all (yes, it's 1:45am in prague and i'm still awake... oops)
post-train station fun, we went to a park, got some beers (what else does one drink in czech republic?) and chatted for a bit. later, i went to an organ concert, but when i came back by the math offices to get my backpack (which i'd left earlier), he was still there and was up for dinner and watching "matrix 2". apparently the czech grad students set up the large math auditorium as a movie theater from time to time for fun since they generally don't own TVs themselves. we ran the movie off of my laptop and broadcasted it on the auditorium projection screen for just the two of us. (we watched matrix 1 at my house in NJ last week, and plan to watch matrix 3 here in prague next week).
anyhow, it's not that i did anything particularly extraordinary, or that i went somewhere particularly excitingly historic (except the church for the organ concert, which i've been to many times before :) ). it was just fun to hang out and chat with a friend about so many random things all day.
anyhow, enough rambling. the title of this post refers to the following. while jan and i were chatting and drinking in the park we were comparing how little europeans distinguish between states/american geography, and how the same is true for americans thinking about europe. as an illustration, here are 4 maps. in defense of my europe, i could draw things slightly better if i put in effort, (i do realize that countries are not oval-shaped blobs and i can place more of them), but not nearly as convincingly as jan of course...
enjoy:
Jan's USA:
my USA:
my czech republic and neighboring countries:
Jan's czech republic and neighboring countries:
how telling is that? :)
night y'all (yes, it's 1:45am in prague and i'm still awake... oops)
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
ahoj from praha!
i'm here, and things are off and running.
i have an entertaining group of students to travel with this year. of them, one has been to asia, but never europe, one has been to all over this part of europe and knows parts of prague better than me, and the other three had never left america before now. they're all fairly chatty and make for some good conversation throughout the day.
the format of this trip is just like the past 2 years: we listen to a math lecture from 10am-noon, get lunch in the university cafeteria, and then have afternoons to ourselves. I've wandered with students for the past two days, but i'm taking this afternoon -- at least until dinner time -- to myself to relax, wander, and not hear english for a bit!
it's seriously good for me to get out of the states for a bit like this. i've been to prague sufficiently many times that i have plenty of familiar hiding places to relax. i'm in email contact with work but not expected to be running around like crazy,... i mostly am free to sit back and enjoy a less hectic culture for a few weeks :)
i went drinking with my students last night -- 3 beers and 3 shots is about my limit for one day though :P... tomorrow when they all go on a "discoboat", i plan to be at an organ concert instead. :) i'm getting old. :P
at any rate, prague rocks, i'm safely here, and i'm quite content to be here for awhile. :)
and that's the update. be parties one and all!
i have an entertaining group of students to travel with this year. of them, one has been to asia, but never europe, one has been to all over this part of europe and knows parts of prague better than me, and the other three had never left america before now. they're all fairly chatty and make for some good conversation throughout the day.
the format of this trip is just like the past 2 years: we listen to a math lecture from 10am-noon, get lunch in the university cafeteria, and then have afternoons to ourselves. I've wandered with students for the past two days, but i'm taking this afternoon -- at least until dinner time -- to myself to relax, wander, and not hear english for a bit!
it's seriously good for me to get out of the states for a bit like this. i've been to prague sufficiently many times that i have plenty of familiar hiding places to relax. i'm in email contact with work but not expected to be running around like crazy,... i mostly am free to sit back and enjoy a less hectic culture for a few weeks :)
i went drinking with my students last night -- 3 beers and 3 shots is about my limit for one day though :P... tomorrow when they all go on a "discoboat", i plan to be at an organ concert instead. :) i'm getting old. :P
at any rate, prague rocks, i'm safely here, and i'm quite content to be here for awhile. :)
and that's the update. be parties one and all!
Saturday, July 21, 2007
transition time...
what a day.
it's not like i had anything profoundly exciting to do either... it's just odd.
i had problems with this day last year too. at the end of a semester of teaching, i go through a phase of "student withdrawal"... i miss the routine of working with them and know that most of them won't ever be in touch again. same goes for REU. somehow, the sudden transtion from "go go go!" to "chill out and take a vacation", and the sudden farewell to most of the students is tricky for me. i like helping solve their problems and being generally helpful, but post-farewell dinner, now my job is mostly done.
this summer's been especially weird since there are two things that generally keep me grounded: (a) having lots of work to do, and (b) being able to track down my friends.... now that (a) is done for a month, i'd normally rely on (b) to help keep me ok.... but (b) has been tricky this year since most of my usual NJ people have been out of town for the summer,... lately, but today especially, i've felt like i'm drifting, and i don't like that at all. hopefully i'll feel less like that when i get to prague. even if i know it's a false perception, i don't like feeling lost and useless.
since no one's around and i'm a little melancholy today (and thus don't feel like packing yet), tonight is movie night. i rented 2 that i've meant to see for a bit: "high fidelity" and "airplane!"
"airplane!" was... ok. i know it's a "classic", and since i'd never seen it, but heard references to it many times, i figured it was worth a chance. i didn't dislike it per se, but i didn't find it quite as hilarious as i expected to. cute, but not knocking anything off my favorite movies of all time list.
"high fidelity" was another story. i've been meaning to read the book and watch the movie for quite some time, but which order i'd do it was ambiguous. i plan to start the book on my flight to prague this weekend, but i thoroughly enjoyed the movie. i expected to like it, but it far exceeded expectation. the tone was perfect for my mood tonight, and i really liked john cusack's character. definitely worth the rental. :)
one more day in america (to be filled with errands and packing) before a month in central europe. i'll be happy when i'm safely there and my brain is on the right time zone. ;)
night y'all!
it's not like i had anything profoundly exciting to do either... it's just odd.
i had problems with this day last year too. at the end of a semester of teaching, i go through a phase of "student withdrawal"... i miss the routine of working with them and know that most of them won't ever be in touch again. same goes for REU. somehow, the sudden transtion from "go go go!" to "chill out and take a vacation", and the sudden farewell to most of the students is tricky for me. i like helping solve their problems and being generally helpful, but post-farewell dinner, now my job is mostly done.
this summer's been especially weird since there are two things that generally keep me grounded: (a) having lots of work to do, and (b) being able to track down my friends.... now that (a) is done for a month, i'd normally rely on (b) to help keep me ok.... but (b) has been tricky this year since most of my usual NJ people have been out of town for the summer,... lately, but today especially, i've felt like i'm drifting, and i don't like that at all. hopefully i'll feel less like that when i get to prague. even if i know it's a false perception, i don't like feeling lost and useless.
since no one's around and i'm a little melancholy today (and thus don't feel like packing yet), tonight is movie night. i rented 2 that i've meant to see for a bit: "high fidelity" and "airplane!"
"airplane!" was... ok. i know it's a "classic", and since i'd never seen it, but heard references to it many times, i figured it was worth a chance. i didn't dislike it per se, but i didn't find it quite as hilarious as i expected to. cute, but not knocking anything off my favorite movies of all time list.
"high fidelity" was another story. i've been meaning to read the book and watch the movie for quite some time, but which order i'd do it was ambiguous. i plan to start the book on my flight to prague this weekend, but i thoroughly enjoyed the movie. i expected to like it, but it far exceeded expectation. the tone was perfect for my mood tonight, and i really liked john cusack's character. definitely worth the rental. :)
one more day in america (to be filled with errands and packing) before a month in central europe. i'll be happy when i'm safely there and my brain is on the right time zone. ;)
night y'all!
