random

so while i may love teaching and love research, i definitely don't enjoy paperwork... but i guess that goes with the territory.

i was the graduate coordinator for last summer's REU (research experience for undergrads) around here, and i will be again next summer. one of my ever so fun duties was to edit the 25 page report that we need to send into NSF (national science foundation) by the end of the month to show them that we've been using their grant money wisely. i like to tell stories... i don't like to read and write formal reports.

but after 2 hours of working through it in detail (thankfully i didn't have to write much of it), i think my editing job is done -- that's an exciting way to spend a monday night, right?

i said i love teaching above... that's true most weeks... tomorrow morning won't be quite the same kind of fun though.

tomorrow's the day when i have to teach my students the contrived maple labs that have been used for years. so much of the maple code is already written for them that it's like we're holding their hands a little too much; whereas on the other hand, the problems they're supposed to solve & the goals of the lab aren't nearly clear enough stated to figure out quickly, so in that sense we're not holding their hands enough.

on top of that, the prof i'm teaching for plans to come in and observe me halfway through the 2nd section tomorrow morning. he self admittedly doesn't know much at all about maple, so he will be watching me, and coming in late will have missed the initial half of the instructions for the day, so i don't quite know the purpose. it's interesting... last semester when i was observed (twice) it was unambiguous why the professor was there, and it was fine. it was also true that for both people who observed me, i was comfortable with how i interact with them outside of the classroom. uncomfortable with my current prof isn't the right word at all, but i haven't figured him out yet. he seems to answer comments/questions from me just a little too quickly and comes off as nervous when i know he's not. i have the general impression that he likes just about everyone wonderfully, and there's no reason i should be an exception to that rule. colleen's comment was he's not nervous, just eager to please and really concerned that *everyone* be on the same page and happy. i just need to figure out how to read him a bit better so i can be more comfortable dealing with him since even though i know he's not nervous, when i perceive him to be so, it puts me on edge a little too.

oh well... i can't change the system, just work with it... and next week i get to do "fun" teaching again -- i.e. go in and say "ok, so what homework questions do y'all have?" and do a song and dance at the chalkboard for an hour and a half per section. people interaction when i can teach things in a way that feels more instructive is fun.... lecturing and being made to teach something in a way i feel is confusing and not instructive even for someone who *knows* the material is what gets to me... *and* being observed on top of that.... just wait til i get to run my own classroom... *that* will be fun.

oh well... done rambling. i should be asleep.

night y'all.