control-freak(ing)-out-ness

i like feeling i'm in control of at least a small part of my life. even that's not an easy thing to do. i can't make my dad get along w/ me and vice versa. i can't make g-ma better. i can't do lots. i think that's why i like driving. i'm in charge of the car, the music, the scenery, the route, and it's a break from reality. it's a good thing.

i'm not in control of my classes... i've been loosely following but having some issues with some details in lie algebras for awhile... i'm about 4 chapters behind on the homework problems too... expecting he'll want them last day of class... this is bad.

i'm not in control of complex analysis... mostly because the "midterm" we have due next week is the first long involved assignment he's given in like a month and a half, and took forever to get original stuff back to us... b/c of that, i didn't put as much time into studying it, and now i feel behind in there too... oops... this is bad.

i'm not in control of real analysis... my homeworks are crummy, my midterm was crummy... i'm just hoping i pass... i've been trying, he's told me he sees very good improvement over the semester, but is still concerned about my level of understanding... my mind just has a hard time thinking like an analyst, so sue me.

algebra,... algebra is my friend. at least that much is true... and hopefully next semester graph theory will still be my best friend of a class like it was in undergrad.

mostly now that i'm sitting still and looking ahead to the last week and a half of classes, i have no idea how i'm going to pull it all off... blah.

so you know what i can be in control of? christmas cards... 5 down, 95 to go. this is something i can do and be done with by monday and be proud of. =) shouldbe doing homework, but um... yeah... just for me, i need to feel like i'm working on something i'm not already starting 4200 miles behind on. math time resumes tomorrow.

night.