i hate nightmares

really, i do

and it's been awhile since i've had one, but last night's was horrible.

at first it was normal enough.... that math grad director gave me stuff to do and since i couldn't find the people i needed to tell things to, i knew i was going to be in trouble.

later in the day i was teaching while two professors were observing me, and then had to handle a cheating situation in front of them.

then the seminar of the day was named after a book that was "the life of lara" and full of really good photos, but i had no idea what it had anything to do with me about as i hadn't taken the pictures or been to a number of the places in the pictures... it wasn't a math seminar anyhow... since the book was titled after me, i knew it was imperitavely expected for me to go but i didn't want to, so i hid, but couldn't leave the math building because it was surrounded by guards with loaded guns.

then, while hiding in the library, i dreamt i ran into ben and scott and we had been assigned to collect corpses from the neighborhood (i've been watching too much hurricane coverage?), and they decided my car was the optimal way to do that, but i couldn't stomach it, so i sat on the curb and got sick and waited on them to finish, but couldn't stomach getting back into my car once it was full to drive to the morgue, so i walked home.

on the way home i noticed one of my favorite professor's house surrounded with police tape and was concerned trying to figure out what was going on when i didn't watch my step and ended up trapped in the world's largest spider web and couldn't get out, which made me panic again too...

... and then i woke up... feeling like i should be running from something... it was quite the disturbing sequence of events, and i only typed highlights here.

what is wrong with my head lately?