top 5 things a mathematician doesn't want to hear

(or at least that i, as an aspiring mathematician, don't want to hear)

(5) lies with numbers: "about 80%" when you mean 60%, completely wrong computations, etc.... both in conversation and in writing

[not that math people are perfect with arithmetic... we suck at it quite often, but when you're not even in the right ballpark and it doesn't phase you, it's frustrating. math is one of those areas that IS black or white/ true or false/ right or wrong, and making up math along the way and not being phased with the lies you're telling or "oh it's close enough" is irritating. math is about truth and accuracy.]

(4) "how did your research end up yesterday/this afternoon/(insert specific time frame)?"

[reaction: research is an ongoing thing. "how's your research going?" is alright, but limiting it to a time frame, or asking how it "ended up" after a particularly frustrating day is irritating.]

(3) "you sound bummed."
"yeah, i'm irritated with my research today."
"oh no! do you think you're going to drop out of grad school?"

[summary: there are days when research goes well, and days when it doesn't. hearing "oh no, are you going to quit?" every time work gets frustrating is a headache. most likely no, i will not drop out. believe it or not, there come points where even people who work hard and enjoy math run up against a brick wall and work gets rocky. either be willing to listen to me talk about details of the math i'm frustrated with or just let it lie. it'll get better eventually.]

(2) "i was never good at math. you're too smart for me." and/or unwillingness to listen to even a little bit of math.

[i wouldn't offer to talk about what i do if i didn't think i could phrase it in a way you can understand. no matter how complicated of something they're working on, any scientist should be able to give an idea of their work to someone who has even little to no background in the area. i'm not necessarily smarter than you, and you're not necessarily "bad at math" just because you think you are. i'm a firm believer anyone can "get" math if it's explained to them in the right way ("right way" being different for different people). just giving up or tuning me out or telling me i'm too smart for you irritates me because it says you've given up and could care less what i do, or about understanding the things that make me excited. just like what you do (for work or for fun) is most likely a big part of who you are, math and my research are a big part of who i am too.]

(1) "math is a cake major. only people who aren't brave enough for real majors study math."

[the riteaid cashier who said this to me and insisted he was right for 10 whole minutes before he would ring up the stuff i was buying the day before my written qual 2 years ago is on my permanent bad list. see points (2)-(5) for reinforcement.]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

on the other hand. i think that this is brilliant. (read the shirt closely) i would love one, but shouldn't spend my money.... alas.

the end.