dude

dad: what did you do today?
me: i went to see the pandas
dad: you went to canada?
me: no, i went to see the pandas at the zoo
dad: how on earth did you get to canada?
me: are you listening to yourself?

(later)
dad: no one ever likes to talk to me at home... why do you all hate me?
me: dad, let's review the last 6 hours, shall we?
dad: ok
me: whenever we try to have a discussion either (1) you get up and turn on the tv (2) come home and yell at people for things other people did or (3) respond with rhyming words that make no sense
dad: laughing, i guess that's true... i'm old, i really can't hear you and your brother makes me mad
me: true, but you did all that stuff right?
dad: yeah, i guess i did
me: would you try to talk to someone who acted like that all the time?
dad: oh, i guess not