11 hours and counting

in 11 hours, i will be 20 minutes in to my first of two 3 hour bouts with written quals... i am not excited.

earlier in the summer it was hard to get motivated -- for just about everyone, but suddenly when most of us made it back to campus at the start of august, quality group study time began...

up until a week ago i was hoping to be prepared enough to at least have a shot at the borderline between passing and not, but the stress of the past week got to me... i didn't study at all last sunday through late yesterday -- the first half of that on account of being out of town (which i don't feel bad about at all), the last half of that on account of being asleep and recovering from the first half of the week (i go back and forth feeling bad about that)... the truth is though -- when a test is supposed to test a year's worth of work, you can't learn much in the last 24 hours.

so today has been review... i don't know nearly as much of the qual syllabus material as i should, but there's a few types of problems that if they show up, i should be able to solve... the problem is in general you need to solve 7 problems right over the 12 you do in 2 days... that's a bit much of a stretch for how much i know i know.

it's interesting to watch how different people work under stress... i was working dedicatedly earlier today, and as it gets towards bedtime, i'm ready to crash, get up early to review some key formulas, and call it a night...

a few of the guys just gave up earlier, but i get the impression that they're back at it again tonight, cramming in last minute facts.

colleen claims to have been resigned to failure for awhile, but insists on studying so that she knows she studied as much as possible when she tells her family how she did.

i don't know what philosophy is best. i just know that at noon tomorrow, i'll be ready for a nap,... but no matter how the morning goes, tomorrow afternoon is study again to dredge through the system again on tuesday... we are NOT excited.

biggest fear right now? being the ONLY person from my class to fail.

is it ironic that i keep hearing the last bit of "casey at the bat" in my head?

we shall see.

night.