in God's hands

"change is a constant part of the fabric of our lives... Good Shepherd is about to face a big change... Pastor Johnson and Georgeann, you're about to face a big change... but I have good news! (dramatic pause)... and no! i did not just save a bunch of money on my car insurance! (lots of laughter), this is the real thing -- even better news... you're in good hands -- you're in God's hands!"

and so started the sermon this afternoon.

when i came to jersey a year ago, i planned to find a church... little did i guess that the first day i attended a church in jersey would be the day after i heard one of my best friends had died, and in the middle of lots of crazy stuff going on, somehow that church would become instant family for me.

pastor johnson was a big part of that... though he's in his 60s (65 next month), you wouldn't put him a day past 50 if you had just met him... last fall i went through his new members class at church, and this past spring went through his spiritual gifts seminar... besides every sunday after church getting a cheerful hello, a hug, a kiss on the cheek (he does that to everyone), i'd had a few good chats one on one with him too.

that's just one year ago.

this past january, pastor (aka p.j.) announced he was retiring come his 65th birthday, and here we get to today... this morning was his last sunday as pastor of good shepherd... (aside: ironically the epistle reading this morning was from 2nd timothy "i have fought the good fight, i have finished the race, i have kept the faith" :-P)... instead he focused on the old testament reading from jeremiah where God's telling the israelites to live and prosper where they are, and talked about a peanuts comic stip:
Charlie Brown (comes up to Lucy's psychiatric booth): ...What can you do when you don't fit in? What can you do when life seems to be passing you by?
Lucy: Follow me, I want to show you something. See the horizon over there? See how big this world is? See how much room there is for everybody? Have you ever seen any other worlds?
Charlie Brown: No.
Lucy: As far as you know this is the only world there is. . . right?
Charlie Brown: Right.
Lucy: There are no other worlds for you to live in. . .right?
Charlie Brown: Right.
Lucy: WELL, LIVE IN IT, THEN! Five cents, please.
that was his last sermon to us -- LIVE! :-)

this afternoon was different though... full communion service, pastor's kids flew in from literally around the world, and all his grandkids were around, and the church was packed...

during communion, joshua's trumpet (the praise band that plays one or two sundays a month) sang ray boltz's "thank you" (lyrics here), changing the last line to "He said "*Norman* look around you, Great is your reward." ... of course everyone was emotional...

the pastor who preached at pj's installation at good shepherd 27.5 years ago preached again... the first paragraph there, and then this:

"that's right... you're in good hands; you're in God's hands... members of good shepherd, this means, you,... pastor j and georgeann, this means you... because, you see, while everything's about to change... really, when it comes down to it, nothing's about to change... there will be a new shepherd, but the Great Shepherd reamins the same... His love remains the same... we are all in good hands... we're in God's hands."

and then... the service was over, and we all went to shake hands with pastor j. and georgeann... i gave him a big hug, and all i could say was "i will really miss you"... he gave me another hug and replied "i'll miss you too, i'm glad you came today"... i gave georgeann (who had been crying for the past hour of the service :-P) a big hug as well, and that was that.

yeah i know i'll see them again; they have friends in our congregation, they have family in our congregation, but it's a change.

i didn't expect it to hit me like i did, but i actually had to pull over to the side of the road on the drive home and cry for a little... it's not like he's gone for forever or that i'll never see him again, but it's funny how the big changes in life are what make you reflect most strongly on what people mean to you.

it's different and it's strange to think about how things will be different, and yet the same, but i'm glad for the impact pj has had on me in the past year... i'm glad i had the opportunity to know him for awhile, and i'm glad i was there today.

it's strange, and it kinda hurts... but it's in good hands; it's in God's hands.