what a day....

i decided that i'm best off, even if the students here know that my grandma died yesterday, to distract myself from feeling things until i get back to the dorm, and so other than occasionally not being able to keep from tearing up, i've managed to do just that.

after conference stuff this afternoon, sarah and i made our way to the train station to buy tickets for our next stops after prague (we both leave august 10... so does everyone else but they already have plane tickets)... my one way ticket to budapest cost me all of 1168 Czech Krowns, which is between $47 and $48... you totally can't beat that!

after that, we wandered through the stores at Wenceslas Square, stopped for ice cream, visited some hidden Franciscan gardens, and now came back to school to meet up with Melissa for dinner.

after dinner, i think i'm back to the dorm for a good old fashioned cry and a few phone calls... apaprently the 5 minute call i made to my parents on sunday cost me $42 though, so oi... apparently i can't talk too long if i want to not get myself in major debt.

for the email i wrote earlier, i've gotten many wonderfully nice responses... it's frustrating to not be immediately close to friends right now, but the first response i got was:

"3 hugs from Zsófi******** ;o)) in advance;-P" (one of my friends in budapest :) )... that made me smile.

my aunt priscilla and uncle bob have a video camera and since neither me or my aunt debbee can make it to pittsburgh, my aunt was already making plans this morning to make sure the pastor is ok with them videotaping the service to send to me and debbee... that may sound strange, but in 6th grade, we tape recorded my great uncle dan's funeral for some family members who couldn't make it either. like they say... funerals are for the living not for the dead... and even though it's going to be rough to not be there in person, i'll at least have that to help bring around some closure too when i get a chance to watch it next month.

it's odd because my mom and her living 3 siblings and me are kind of the closest family who visit g-ma frequently... being the oldest grandchild i'm one of only two grandkids who remembers g-ma enough before the strokes to have not been afraid to continue talking with her and writing her for the past 5 years, so i've kinda graduated to being included in my mom's generation when things happen with grandma instead of with the other grandkids...

anyhow, if i had to pick one person ever to say is my hero, THIS grandma for certain would be it... i hope by the time i'm done with my own life to be able to say i was even half the person she was... and i already miss her a lot (then again i've missed her a lot ever since her strokes started eating away at her outward capacity 5 years ago...)...

anyhow, i'm making people wait for dinner... i should run... a very small handful of you (who have been forewarned) will get phonecalls in a bit.

later.