last night apparently instead of a nightmare, i had a dream about being able to eat lots of chocolate mousse (which i definitely wouldn't do in reality (1) i don't like chocolate that much, (2) having mousse as a snack is definitely not allowed by my self-imposed diet anymore...
anyhow, imagine my state of mind, when one minute my head is dreaming of chocolate mousse, and then next i'm jolted awake by my clock radio.
moreover, when the clock radio goes off it's in the middle of johhny cash's "man comes around", and so my head goes from mousse to, "...Some are born an' some are dyin'. It's Alpha's and Omega's Kingdom come. And the whirlwind is in the thorn tree. The virgins are all trimming their wicks. The whirlwind is in the thorn tree. It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks. Till Armageddon, no Shalam, no Shalom. Then the father hen will call his chickens home.... (etc.)"
and while i still have my eyes shut and am trying to figure out what on earth is going on, the DJ breaks in at the end of the song and comments "dude, that's one freaky song, but shouldn't every song about death have the word 'chicken' in it?"
my head is still spinning.
had i been awake, it probably would have made moderately more sense... now that i've looked up all the lyrics, they're actually kinda cool. find them here: http://hit-country-music-lyrics.com/johnnycashlyrics-mancomesaround.html
now to get a move on
Friday, September 30, 2005
Thursday, September 29, 2005
numerical victories of the past 24 hours
pounds: 51 down, 49 to go (i.e. as of today i'm over halfway done with my goal of losing 100 pounds by christmas 2006... yay lara!)
running time: when i started walking 5 miles a night, i averaged an 18 minute mile (given that's not that fast, but i'm working on getting in shape from like not doing anything other than walking around the house or the office all day; also 5 miles is quite more substantial to maintain a pace than just darting through 1 mile)... gradually, i've sped up and been somewhere between 17 and 18 minute miles... last night i finally broke the 17 minute mile mark and maintained it for the whole 5 mile route i take around town... actually it took me an hour and 24 minutes to go 5.1 miles... so that's something closer to 16.5 minute mile. for a "real" runner, this is slow, for me, this is a victory.... it's not as if i have time to work on going farther, so i might as well work on going faster, right?
oral committee members: 3 down, 1 to go... i just asked my current combinatorics professor to be on my committee. he laughingly commented "ooh! with the people you have so far, it sounds like i get to be the difficult person for once instead of just a softie!" ha.
40 minutes to do my own work... an hour and a half of office hours for my students... to be followed by dr. z.'s seminar and then free indian food, courtesy of dr. z.... thursday nights are good. :)
later dudes.
running time: when i started walking 5 miles a night, i averaged an 18 minute mile (given that's not that fast, but i'm working on getting in shape from like not doing anything other than walking around the house or the office all day; also 5 miles is quite more substantial to maintain a pace than just darting through 1 mile)... gradually, i've sped up and been somewhere between 17 and 18 minute miles... last night i finally broke the 17 minute mile mark and maintained it for the whole 5 mile route i take around town... actually it took me an hour and 24 minutes to go 5.1 miles... so that's something closer to 16.5 minute mile. for a "real" runner, this is slow, for me, this is a victory.... it's not as if i have time to work on going farther, so i might as well work on going faster, right?
oral committee members: 3 down, 1 to go... i just asked my current combinatorics professor to be on my committee. he laughingly commented "ooh! with the people you have so far, it sounds like i get to be the difficult person for once instead of just a softie!" ha.
40 minutes to do my own work... an hour and a half of office hours for my students... to be followed by dr. z.'s seminar and then free indian food, courtesy of dr. z.... thursday nights are good. :)
later dudes.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
at least there's one thing i can do right...
email just now:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HI Lara,
Just wanted to thank you again for staying after and helping answer my
questions. You really do everything in your power to help students
and it is certainly appreciated.
I'll get cracking on studying this weekend so I'm sure I'll be stopping in
to see you next week.
Thanks again!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HI Lara,
Just wanted to thank you again for staying after and helping answer my
questions. You really do everything in your power to help students
and it is certainly appreciated.
I'll get cracking on studying this weekend so I'm sure I'll be stopping in
to see you next week.
Thanks again!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
major yay :)
guess who gets another free trip to europe next summer! :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hi Lara,
This is to confirm your re-appointment as graduate student coordinator for
the 2006 DIMACS/DIMATIA REU program with a salary of $3750.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for the outstanding job
you did last year. Your management skills, concern for the students,
flexibility, and responsiveness were key in making the REU program
successful. It has been a pleasure to work with you.
Welcome back (except you never left!)
Brenda
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hi Lara,
This is to confirm your re-appointment as graduate student coordinator for
the 2006 DIMACS/DIMATIA REU program with a salary of $3750.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for the outstanding job
you did last year. Your management skills, concern for the students,
flexibility, and responsiveness were key in making the REU program
successful. It has been a pleasure to work with you.
Welcome back (except you never left!)
Brenda
Monday, September 26, 2005
pitt
i'm back
i must say that my cousin heather makes a gorgeous bride. she looked every bit a princess but without any "better than you" attitude of any sort ;-P
her husband is a couple FEET taller than her, so the joke is that he's going to have major back problems in his future, but they're so perfect together. i visited them on spring break in march and would have said that after hanging out with them together then though, so that's not a surprise.
one cool thing during the service was that denny (heather's new husband) is very open about emotions and whatever more than most guys i know are willing to be in public, so you could actually see him choke up when heather came down the aisle with my uncle, etc. and it was totally cool.
one funny thing was that denny's groomsmen took tape and wrote "i love" on the bottom of one of his shoes and "heather" on the bottom of the other, and didn't tell him, so during the parts of the service where the two of them were kneeling up front, the rest of the church could see it, and denny had no idea it was there until after the service.
one thing i especially liked was that heather and denny included every single family member in the service in some way or another. my mom and my aunt priscilla sang a duet... my cousin rachel helped hand out bubbles (instead of rice) after the service... various other people were readers... i got to be the assisting minister for communion. that meant that during the communion liturgy i was off to the side of the altar area where heather and denny (and the wedding party if they cared to look up) could see me but not the rest of the congregation, so heather and i could make faces at each other :-P... other than secretly being silly with my favorite cousin in the middle of her wedding, it was really cool to be a part of the service in that way too. :)
i plan to finish my roll of film off in the morning so i can get pics back tomorrow, and i'll post them then.
paul and i had a decent trip. we talked way more than we ever have before (that would have been hard to avoid unless we both had resolved to be silent the whole trip)... so that was cool. it was actually good i had company today. i was tired from being up early and running around all day, and when we made wonderful time up until 30 miles before allentown and then we went under 5 miles in over an hour as the sun went down,... i was exhausted, and that loss of good pace had me beat and ready to crash. after listening to the pitt/new england game all afternoon on various AM radio stations too, it was disappointing to hear it come down the last few seconds and have the one team i HATE beat my absolute favorite... that was frustrating and not helping my happy/pay attention/stay alert quotient either... so it was good i had company to help keep me going...
meeting with my advisor tomorrow... i don't have anything exciting at all to show, but whatever. we'll see how this week goes.
for now, here's the summary: i'm TIRED.
later dudes
i must say that my cousin heather makes a gorgeous bride. she looked every bit a princess but without any "better than you" attitude of any sort ;-P
her husband is a couple FEET taller than her, so the joke is that he's going to have major back problems in his future, but they're so perfect together. i visited them on spring break in march and would have said that after hanging out with them together then though, so that's not a surprise.
one cool thing during the service was that denny (heather's new husband) is very open about emotions and whatever more than most guys i know are willing to be in public, so you could actually see him choke up when heather came down the aisle with my uncle, etc. and it was totally cool.
one funny thing was that denny's groomsmen took tape and wrote "i love" on the bottom of one of his shoes and "heather" on the bottom of the other, and didn't tell him, so during the parts of the service where the two of them were kneeling up front, the rest of the church could see it, and denny had no idea it was there until after the service.
one thing i especially liked was that heather and denny included every single family member in the service in some way or another. my mom and my aunt priscilla sang a duet... my cousin rachel helped hand out bubbles (instead of rice) after the service... various other people were readers... i got to be the assisting minister for communion. that meant that during the communion liturgy i was off to the side of the altar area where heather and denny (and the wedding party if they cared to look up) could see me but not the rest of the congregation, so heather and i could make faces at each other :-P... other than secretly being silly with my favorite cousin in the middle of her wedding, it was really cool to be a part of the service in that way too. :)
i plan to finish my roll of film off in the morning so i can get pics back tomorrow, and i'll post them then.
paul and i had a decent trip. we talked way more than we ever have before (that would have been hard to avoid unless we both had resolved to be silent the whole trip)... so that was cool. it was actually good i had company today. i was tired from being up early and running around all day, and when we made wonderful time up until 30 miles before allentown and then we went under 5 miles in over an hour as the sun went down,... i was exhausted, and that loss of good pace had me beat and ready to crash. after listening to the pitt/new england game all afternoon on various AM radio stations too, it was disappointing to hear it come down the last few seconds and have the one team i HATE beat my absolute favorite... that was frustrating and not helping my happy/pay attention/stay alert quotient either... so it was good i had company to help keep me going...
meeting with my advisor tomorrow... i don't have anything exciting at all to show, but whatever. we'll see how this week goes.
for now, here's the summary: i'm TIRED.
later dudes
Thursday, September 22, 2005
tangent
i wish i could rewind my personality 3 or 4 years or so.
i'm still the same lara, but somehow, throughout stressful times in the past few years i've gotten way more neurotic, way more obsessive compulsive-ish, way more reclusive, way more lots of things.
life happens and you roll with it, but the life happening part changes you too, and i don't know that you can just reverse all of the changes that aren't so good and go back to how you were.
this is random, i'm done.
summary: i've changed in the past several years in lots of ways... some good, and some i really dislike myself for,... and i don't know how to fix it.
night. (for real this time).
i'm still the same lara, but somehow, throughout stressful times in the past few years i've gotten way more neurotic, way more obsessive compulsive-ish, way more reclusive, way more lots of things.
life happens and you roll with it, but the life happening part changes you too, and i don't know that you can just reverse all of the changes that aren't so good and go back to how you were.
this is random, i'm done.
summary: i've changed in the past several years in lots of ways... some good, and some i really dislike myself for,... and i don't know how to fix it.
night. (for real this time).
apprentice... four...
dude, i can't believe i've already watched 3 whole seasons of this.
every new one i think "oh, i don't need to watch it again... it's just more of the same", but somehow i keep coming back. oi...
leigh watched with me tonight... there were parts that we just laughed hysterically at how ridiculous they were... like the footrace for the helicopter in business attire across a golf course... oi...
melissa deserved to be the first fired. her comment in the boardroom that "i don't work well with other women" was her death sentence. maybe she has a lot to contribute and maybe she's generally more positive than we saw in this episode, but from what was on screen she's very loud, very stubborn, and very uncooperative... and didn't bring much positive energy to the table.
so it goes.
neither team was overly impressive this week... then again the first few episodes we're getting used to the new personalities, and they're getting used to each other.
i liked randal... he seemed to just have a pleasant personality, and when not dealing with family issues, i get the impression his head will be very in the game. we'll see if my hunch is right in future episodes.
a few of the guys made good points throughout this episode, but i'll be counting the weeks til markus is gone. he doesn't know when to shut his mouth and just rambles... and rambles... and rambles.
i, myself, like to type or talk lots, but in business situations, i know to control it. people who work in offices, in my experience, like things short and sweet... not drawn out and wordy.
we shall see...
the end.
every new one i think "oh, i don't need to watch it again... it's just more of the same", but somehow i keep coming back. oi...
leigh watched with me tonight... there were parts that we just laughed hysterically at how ridiculous they were... like the footrace for the helicopter in business attire across a golf course... oi...
melissa deserved to be the first fired. her comment in the boardroom that "i don't work well with other women" was her death sentence. maybe she has a lot to contribute and maybe she's generally more positive than we saw in this episode, but from what was on screen she's very loud, very stubborn, and very uncooperative... and didn't bring much positive energy to the table.
so it goes.
neither team was overly impressive this week... then again the first few episodes we're getting used to the new personalities, and they're getting used to each other.
i liked randal... he seemed to just have a pleasant personality, and when not dealing with family issues, i get the impression his head will be very in the game. we'll see if my hunch is right in future episodes.
a few of the guys made good points throughout this episode, but i'll be counting the weeks til markus is gone. he doesn't know when to shut his mouth and just rambles... and rambles... and rambles.
i, myself, like to type or talk lots, but in business situations, i know to control it. people who work in offices, in my experience, like things short and sweet... not drawn out and wordy.
we shall see...
the end.
... and 2 more things
item 1:
i've written 2 rants already about one family in my church and the way they've publicizes their concerns about my church's plan for the parsonage. again, my beef is not that they have concerns and questions, but the way they went about resolving them.
AFTER, my congregation president wrote a beautiful response to their first email, they wrote *another* email about how that didn't address their concerns and they had called the national LCMS office in missouri (who said they weren't qualified to address NJ property laws, that's why they have district attorneys etc. in NJ, who *do* know local rules), and they called the IRS.
they copied the IRS response which said that what they had explained was in fact illegal and tax evasion. thing is, even though they insist they understand, this family *STILL* had the plan wrong.
the congregation president wrote another response yesterday explaining all the ins and outs of how the current parsonage proposal would be taxed or not and how it would be done legally, and in the process, it was made clear that this family, although they thought they understood, *still* didn't have the concept down.
so instead of asking church leaders "have you contacted the IRS to make sure this is legal? have you contacted (fill in the blank) for advice? can we see their response? if not, will you contact them?", they did research on their own, without having the facts straight and publicized it as if the church leaders are stupid and didn't do their hoemwork first. again, not the fact that they have questions and concerns and want to see answers from authoritative sources on taxes, etc.... it's more the fact that instead of making sure they understood and seeing what research had been done, they did their own skewed research and proclaimed it as truth, with every other paragraph ending with "we stand for God's view, not man's". it was rather frustrating to read.
anyhow, finally a couple of the deacons last night wrote good summaries to the whole e-war... this one was my favorite, it comes from the first lady (who is also one of the deacons) who ever talked to me at my church the first week i visited, and is in general very good at helping calm people down and creating peace:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear friends,
While I wish that this had all taken place "face to face," so that we
could all have seen each other while talking, (e-mail is SO impersonal!)
I am grateful for the concern for our church that each and everyone who
has been in this "conversation" has evidenced.
Let us keep that concern for our church and for each other in mind as we
pray for our church and the outcome of the congregational meeting on
Sunday, that God's love and purpose for us may be evident as we work to
do His work.
Let's greet each other with a handshake or a hug on Sunday morning and
remember that we love each other in Christ, even when we have
differences of opinion.
I also add my thanks to all of our hard working call committee members,
admin. board members, and staff members as well! Everyone has put in far
more time than I had ever thought would be necessary.
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:
Lord, walk beside me with your arm on my shoulder and your hand over my
mouth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i'm so glad that this kind of conflict is not an all the time thing, and i'm so glad that my church has many people who are good at seeing through the thick and loving people even when they create muddy situations.
for as much as this e-war has been a headache to read, i'm glad it seems to be calming down now. i just hope and pray that the voters meeting on sunday (while i'm out of town) has good discussion without ungrounded accusations going around.
this turned out longer than planned, but hopefully i'm done with it now.
people.... lots of fun, right?
item 2: (COMPLETELY UNRELATED)
thanks to the new pedometer that jenny got me, would you believe that i walk 8/10 of a mile just going back and forth in front of the chalkboard when teaching 3 classes on wednesday mornings? i thought that that was crazy!
the end (for now)
i've written 2 rants already about one family in my church and the way they've publicizes their concerns about my church's plan for the parsonage. again, my beef is not that they have concerns and questions, but the way they went about resolving them.
AFTER, my congregation president wrote a beautiful response to their first email, they wrote *another* email about how that didn't address their concerns and they had called the national LCMS office in missouri (who said they weren't qualified to address NJ property laws, that's why they have district attorneys etc. in NJ, who *do* know local rules), and they called the IRS.
they copied the IRS response which said that what they had explained was in fact illegal and tax evasion. thing is, even though they insist they understand, this family *STILL* had the plan wrong.
the congregation president wrote another response yesterday explaining all the ins and outs of how the current parsonage proposal would be taxed or not and how it would be done legally, and in the process, it was made clear that this family, although they thought they understood, *still* didn't have the concept down.
so instead of asking church leaders "have you contacted the IRS to make sure this is legal? have you contacted (fill in the blank) for advice? can we see their response? if not, will you contact them?", they did research on their own, without having the facts straight and publicized it as if the church leaders are stupid and didn't do their hoemwork first. again, not the fact that they have questions and concerns and want to see answers from authoritative sources on taxes, etc.... it's more the fact that instead of making sure they understood and seeing what research had been done, they did their own skewed research and proclaimed it as truth, with every other paragraph ending with "we stand for God's view, not man's". it was rather frustrating to read.
anyhow, finally a couple of the deacons last night wrote good summaries to the whole e-war... this one was my favorite, it comes from the first lady (who is also one of the deacons) who ever talked to me at my church the first week i visited, and is in general very good at helping calm people down and creating peace:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear friends,
While I wish that this had all taken place "face to face," so that we
could all have seen each other while talking, (e-mail is SO impersonal!)
I am grateful for the concern for our church that each and everyone who
has been in this "conversation" has evidenced.
Let us keep that concern for our church and for each other in mind as we
pray for our church and the outcome of the congregational meeting on
Sunday, that God's love and purpose for us may be evident as we work to
do His work.
Let's greet each other with a handshake or a hug on Sunday morning and
remember that we love each other in Christ, even when we have
differences of opinion.
I also add my thanks to all of our hard working call committee members,
admin. board members, and staff members as well! Everyone has put in far
more time than I had ever thought would be necessary.
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:
Lord, walk beside me with your arm on my shoulder and your hand over my
mouth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i'm so glad that this kind of conflict is not an all the time thing, and i'm so glad that my church has many people who are good at seeing through the thick and loving people even when they create muddy situations.
for as much as this e-war has been a headache to read, i'm glad it seems to be calming down now. i just hope and pray that the voters meeting on sunday (while i'm out of town) has good discussion without ungrounded accusations going around.
this turned out longer than planned, but hopefully i'm done with it now.
people.... lots of fun, right?
item 2: (COMPLETELY UNRELATED)
thanks to the new pedometer that jenny got me, would you believe that i walk 8/10 of a mile just going back and forth in front of the chalkboard when teaching 3 classes on wednesday mornings? i thought that that was crazy!
the end (for now)
in the next 36+ hours
* exercise
* breakfast
* 5 mile walk
* lunch
* shower
* raid the university math library for info on matroids
* get eric to give me a lecture on everything he knows about ansatzes
* office hours
* experimental math seminar (my advisor is speaking)
* dinner
* season premeires of joey and apprentice, while doing laundry and packing
* sleep
* pick up paul r. at 7:45 tomorrow morning and hightail it to pittsburgh
* hang out with my mom and my aunt pris... if it's not raining potentially visit grandpa and/or grandma's graves (they're in different parts of town since my step g-pa wanted g-ma buried near where he lives)
* my cousin heather's wedding rehearsal
* my cousin heather's rehearsal dinner
* grade 105 calc quizzes at the hotel
sounds like fun, right?
i find it amusing that me "sleeping in until i wake up; no alarms set", had me up and moving around 7:15 this morning. that's not even 8 hours of sleep but i couldn't get back to sleep!
i feel like a major mathematical failure this week. i probably won't have much to show my advisor monday either as i won't have a computer between tonight and when we meet... oi...
at least my students seem to like me... :P
road trip this weekend to pitt should be interesting. i invited paul, a math grad student who's a year behind me (not the one who comes to church with me every sunday, that's a different paul who's a year ahead of me), to come along for the ride. he went to undergrad in pitt so he has lots of friends there. this way, he'll pay for half the gas, and especially if it spikes again, due to rita, it'll make for a more affordable trip for both of us. thing is, i don't think i've ever talked to him for more than 5 minutes straight and we have 6 hours in the car tomorrow and 6 hours in the car sunday. so it'll be an interesting time. he's a super-friendly guy and gets along with everyone on the planet, so it'll be fun... just stating a priori we don't really know each other at all.
still brainstorming for who my 4th qual committee member should be. i need to ask my 3rd after class one day next week. i thought of another 4th person candidate but i need to run the idea by my advisor first. we'll see.
now, to get on with my morning workout. :P
probably apprentice update later tonight before i'm off for the weekend
* breakfast
* 5 mile walk
* lunch
* shower
* raid the university math library for info on matroids
* get eric to give me a lecture on everything he knows about ansatzes
* office hours
* experimental math seminar (my advisor is speaking)
* dinner
* season premeires of joey and apprentice, while doing laundry and packing
* sleep
* pick up paul r. at 7:45 tomorrow morning and hightail it to pittsburgh
* hang out with my mom and my aunt pris... if it's not raining potentially visit grandpa and/or grandma's graves (they're in different parts of town since my step g-pa wanted g-ma buried near where he lives)
* my cousin heather's wedding rehearsal
* my cousin heather's rehearsal dinner
* grade 105 calc quizzes at the hotel
sounds like fun, right?
i find it amusing that me "sleeping in until i wake up; no alarms set", had me up and moving around 7:15 this morning. that's not even 8 hours of sleep but i couldn't get back to sleep!
i feel like a major mathematical failure this week. i probably won't have much to show my advisor monday either as i won't have a computer between tonight and when we meet... oi...
at least my students seem to like me... :P
road trip this weekend to pitt should be interesting. i invited paul, a math grad student who's a year behind me (not the one who comes to church with me every sunday, that's a different paul who's a year ahead of me), to come along for the ride. he went to undergrad in pitt so he has lots of friends there. this way, he'll pay for half the gas, and especially if it spikes again, due to rita, it'll make for a more affordable trip for both of us. thing is, i don't think i've ever talked to him for more than 5 minutes straight and we have 6 hours in the car tomorrow and 6 hours in the car sunday. so it'll be an interesting time. he's a super-friendly guy and gets along with everyone on the planet, so it'll be fun... just stating a priori we don't really know each other at all.
still brainstorming for who my 4th qual committee member should be. i need to ask my 3rd after class one day next week. i thought of another 4th person candidate but i need to run the idea by my advisor first. we'll see.
now, to get on with my morning workout. :P
probably apprentice update later tonight before i'm off for the weekend
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
once you've think you've hear it all...
Power-dressing man leaves trail of destruction -- apparently they have near-spontaneously combusting sweaters down in australia.... impressive
happy emails
email i got from my congregation president in response to the email i wrote her earlier today:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lara,
I do know who you are. I thank you for your comments, support and
prayers. I know that these negative comments only reflect a small
number of people, but yet it can be discouraging to all of us who have
been working on this.
Once again, thank you so very much. You don't know what your words mean
to me. I will also pass them along to the other leaders.
Love in Christ,
Beth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
email i got from one of my students after i sent a mass email reminding them about their homework for tomorrow:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I FORGOT TO EMAIL YOU EARLIER TODAY ABOUT IT! IT HELPS A LOT! YOU'RE MY HERO
:-D!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
it's fun to be someone's hero again. :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lara,
I do know who you are. I thank you for your comments, support and
prayers. I know that these negative comments only reflect a small
number of people, but yet it can be discouraging to all of us who have
been working on this.
Once again, thank you so very much. You don't know what your words mean
to me. I will also pass them along to the other leaders.
Love in Christ,
Beth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
email i got from one of my students after i sent a mass email reminding them about their homework for tomorrow:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I FORGOT TO EMAIL YOU EARLIER TODAY ABOUT IT! IT HELPS A LOT! YOU'RE MY HERO
:-D!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
it's fun to be someone's hero again. :)
ode to all the ridiculous people (part 2)
my attitude on society has not improved in the past week obviously.
this post is thanks to a family in my church that started an email war last night that has been going continuously all morning.
the current proposal that my congregation is considering has to do with what to do with the church parsonage.
i wrote an essay a little over a week ago (see ode to all the ridiculous people) on the church meeting we had about this. some people were reasonable, and some were all up in arms about considering getting rid of the current parsonage.
so that's fine, and we've moved on.
based on the concerns raised at the meeting, earlier this week, the church office sent out a mass email to every member whose email address they had with two files attached. one was a revised proposal of what to do, based on concerns raised at the meeting, the other was a letter explaining the background and research that went into it.
everyone on that list has access to everyone else's email on that list... it's over 100 emails. in the past, people have been reasonable about that. i've used it to find contact info for specific people i need to reach, but not emailed the whole freakin list.
anyhow, one family who spoke out loudly against selling the parsonage at the meeting last week wrote an email last night that called the new proposal to help the pastor buy a new house of his choosing and then list it as a parsonage immoral and unethical. they had emailed several christian financial groups and copied and pasted the replies and wrote a plea for everyone to vote down the new proposal again. in general, the father of this family frustrates me... most of the time he's a very cool person, but in voters meetings he's generally very vocal and against whatever is on the table... it's one thing to have strong feelings and opinions... what gets to me is that the way he presents them is rather disrespectful in tone.
side note: what my church proposes to do is what several other churches in the state have done as the question of housing new pastors comes up... in this way it's still a parsonage, but the pastor has some freedom of choice, and the church is still able to maintain equity instead of just liquidating assets... it's a little complicated to explain out if you're not familiar with church-owned properties, or with NJ property laws in particular, and it's beside the point... the main point is, it's completely legal and ethical, and was actually suggested by the district president and run by several lawyers before it was suggested to the congregation at large.
anyhow... in response to that email which went out unsolicited to over 100 church families last night, several people started writing questions back to the whole list this morning... several more started writing "people! take me off this list... this is my work email and i don't have time for 20 emails from all of you debating when i'm trying to work!"... and finally, the congregation president wrote a beautiful response back to the couple from last night along with responses to the questions flying around all morning.
the basic theme was. "dude, do you not trust your church leaders to do research and see what's allowable or not? the whole time we've been proposing options to the congregation, our lawyer has reviewed every possibility before it goes to you. if it were really an unethical way to resolve housing a pastor, do you really think we would have suggested it? i'm sorry that you misunderstood the proposal, but even more i'm sad to see that you didn't trust your board enough to ask us questions that concerned you instead of going behind us and pleading for the whole congregation to vote our proposals down."
for all the time that the various boards and committees have put into this, i was: (a) super annoyed with the family who wrote last night (not for the fact that they had questions and concerns, but for their tone (as usual)),
(b) super annoyed with the unsolicited flow of email through my inbox,
(c) super offended on behalf of the committees involved that this family and others in my inbox showed such distrust of their work as if they haven't really thought things through when they've put hours into figuring out potential solutions,
and
(d) i was super impressed with the response of the congregation president and with the clarity with which she responded, and while she admitted she was frustrated with the way this couple presented their questions, i was even more so impressed with the grace she still responded with.
if only people could restrain themselves from getting all worked up and actually go about things with a proper attitude, and talk things out. for example, if this couple had approached committee members instead of the whole congregation first, and said "this is what we understand and what we've researched, we think this is unethical, why are you suggesting it?" and gotten an answer then instead of trying to emotionally charge the whole congregation against the committee, the committee could still address the whole congregation on the response without everyone getting all worked up and without this family making accusations over things they didn't completely understand... oi...
this is long and not coming to a clear point... summary: there's a small but vocal minority in my church whose attitudes on business matters stir up frustration and get on my nerves... people can have questions... they should just ask them as questions, not turn them into pointed accusations before they have all the facts.
ugh.
the end.
this post is thanks to a family in my church that started an email war last night that has been going continuously all morning.
the current proposal that my congregation is considering has to do with what to do with the church parsonage.
i wrote an essay a little over a week ago (see ode to all the ridiculous people) on the church meeting we had about this. some people were reasonable, and some were all up in arms about considering getting rid of the current parsonage.
so that's fine, and we've moved on.
based on the concerns raised at the meeting, earlier this week, the church office sent out a mass email to every member whose email address they had with two files attached. one was a revised proposal of what to do, based on concerns raised at the meeting, the other was a letter explaining the background and research that went into it.
everyone on that list has access to everyone else's email on that list... it's over 100 emails. in the past, people have been reasonable about that. i've used it to find contact info for specific people i need to reach, but not emailed the whole freakin list.
anyhow, one family who spoke out loudly against selling the parsonage at the meeting last week wrote an email last night that called the new proposal to help the pastor buy a new house of his choosing and then list it as a parsonage immoral and unethical. they had emailed several christian financial groups and copied and pasted the replies and wrote a plea for everyone to vote down the new proposal again. in general, the father of this family frustrates me... most of the time he's a very cool person, but in voters meetings he's generally very vocal and against whatever is on the table... it's one thing to have strong feelings and opinions... what gets to me is that the way he presents them is rather disrespectful in tone.
side note: what my church proposes to do is what several other churches in the state have done as the question of housing new pastors comes up... in this way it's still a parsonage, but the pastor has some freedom of choice, and the church is still able to maintain equity instead of just liquidating assets... it's a little complicated to explain out if you're not familiar with church-owned properties, or with NJ property laws in particular, and it's beside the point... the main point is, it's completely legal and ethical, and was actually suggested by the district president and run by several lawyers before it was suggested to the congregation at large.
anyhow... in response to that email which went out unsolicited to over 100 church families last night, several people started writing questions back to the whole list this morning... several more started writing "people! take me off this list... this is my work email and i don't have time for 20 emails from all of you debating when i'm trying to work!"... and finally, the congregation president wrote a beautiful response back to the couple from last night along with responses to the questions flying around all morning.
the basic theme was. "dude, do you not trust your church leaders to do research and see what's allowable or not? the whole time we've been proposing options to the congregation, our lawyer has reviewed every possibility before it goes to you. if it were really an unethical way to resolve housing a pastor, do you really think we would have suggested it? i'm sorry that you misunderstood the proposal, but even more i'm sad to see that you didn't trust your board enough to ask us questions that concerned you instead of going behind us and pleading for the whole congregation to vote our proposals down."
for all the time that the various boards and committees have put into this, i was: (a) super annoyed with the family who wrote last night (not for the fact that they had questions and concerns, but for their tone (as usual)),
(b) super annoyed with the unsolicited flow of email through my inbox,
(c) super offended on behalf of the committees involved that this family and others in my inbox showed such distrust of their work as if they haven't really thought things through when they've put hours into figuring out potential solutions,
and
(d) i was super impressed with the response of the congregation president and with the clarity with which she responded, and while she admitted she was frustrated with the way this couple presented their questions, i was even more so impressed with the grace she still responded with.
if only people could restrain themselves from getting all worked up and actually go about things with a proper attitude, and talk things out. for example, if this couple had approached committee members instead of the whole congregation first, and said "this is what we understand and what we've researched, we think this is unethical, why are you suggesting it?" and gotten an answer then instead of trying to emotionally charge the whole congregation against the committee, the committee could still address the whole congregation on the response without everyone getting all worked up and without this family making accusations over things they didn't completely understand... oi...
this is long and not coming to a clear point... summary: there's a small but vocal minority in my church whose attitudes on business matters stir up frustration and get on my nerves... people can have questions... they should just ask them as questions, not turn them into pointed accusations before they have all the facts.
ugh.
the end.
i hate nightmares
really, i do
and it's been awhile since i've had one, but last night's was horrible.
at first it was normal enough.... that math grad director gave me stuff to do and since i couldn't find the people i needed to tell things to, i knew i was going to be in trouble.
later in the day i was teaching while two professors were observing me, and then had to handle a cheating situation in front of them.
then the seminar of the day was named after a book that was "the life of lara" and full of really good photos, but i had no idea what it had anything to do with me about as i hadn't taken the pictures or been to a number of the places in the pictures... it wasn't a math seminar anyhow... since the book was titled after me, i knew it was imperitavely expected for me to go but i didn't want to, so i hid, but couldn't leave the math building because it was surrounded by guards with loaded guns.
then, while hiding in the library, i dreamt i ran into ben and scott and we had been assigned to collect corpses from the neighborhood (i've been watching too much hurricane coverage?), and they decided my car was the optimal way to do that, but i couldn't stomach it, so i sat on the curb and got sick and waited on them to finish, but couldn't stomach getting back into my car once it was full to drive to the morgue, so i walked home.
on the way home i noticed one of my favorite professor's house surrounded with police tape and was concerned trying to figure out what was going on when i didn't watch my step and ended up trapped in the world's largest spider web and couldn't get out, which made me panic again too...
... and then i woke up... feeling like i should be running from something... it was quite the disturbing sequence of events, and i only typed highlights here.
what is wrong with my head lately?
and it's been awhile since i've had one, but last night's was horrible.
at first it was normal enough.... that math grad director gave me stuff to do and since i couldn't find the people i needed to tell things to, i knew i was going to be in trouble.
later in the day i was teaching while two professors were observing me, and then had to handle a cheating situation in front of them.
then the seminar of the day was named after a book that was "the life of lara" and full of really good photos, but i had no idea what it had anything to do with me about as i hadn't taken the pictures or been to a number of the places in the pictures... it wasn't a math seminar anyhow... since the book was titled after me, i knew it was imperitavely expected for me to go but i didn't want to, so i hid, but couldn't leave the math building because it was surrounded by guards with loaded guns.
then, while hiding in the library, i dreamt i ran into ben and scott and we had been assigned to collect corpses from the neighborhood (i've been watching too much hurricane coverage?), and they decided my car was the optimal way to do that, but i couldn't stomach it, so i sat on the curb and got sick and waited on them to finish, but couldn't stomach getting back into my car once it was full to drive to the morgue, so i walked home.
on the way home i noticed one of my favorite professor's house surrounded with police tape and was concerned trying to figure out what was going on when i didn't watch my step and ended up trapped in the world's largest spider web and couldn't get out, which made me panic again too...
... and then i woke up... feeling like i should be running from something... it was quite the disturbing sequence of events, and i only typed highlights here.
what is wrong with my head lately?
Monday, September 19, 2005
it's official...
... i'm a walking junkie
not that going over 300 miles in the past 3-4 months isn't an indicator, but...
you know how you see these people jogging around in their little jogging suits, hooked up to headphones and who knows what all else... although i've been walking 5 miles a day for months now, i've not identified with them.
today though... i've suddenly (in the past 24 hours even) accumulated a lot of walking extras.
since i got back from europe, leigh got an iPod for free with points from her credit card. she kept commenting that if i was going out walking so much, i should give her a couple CDs i want on it, and take it when i go out... so last night i gave her the first copy of the crazy mix i put together on saturday, and tonight was the first night to go out, iPod in hand... so now i've got the tangled mess of cords blasting music while i'm out and about for an hour and a half...
besides that, memphis jenny, knowing i've been all about walking for a bit now, sent me a belated birthday present that came over the weekend: an Omron pedometer. today was the first day i fiddled with it. it's kinda cute... i'd never thought of owning one before, but since i go out walking so much it's gonna be fun to take statistics. so far today i went 12839 steps, but 9971 of those were from my 5 mile walk... i underestimated my stride length, so the distance travelled bit isn't accurate... then again i think my stride length is a little longer when i'm on my walk at night than when i'm wandering around the house or the math dept... who knows. i recalibrated, so maybe tomorrow will give a more accurate reading.
those first two things are gifts... the last one was me... i decided if i'm workimng them so hard, maybe i should be a little nicer to my feet, so now my shoes have new insoles too... and like the ridiculous people on TV, i, too, can now say i'm gellin like a fellon. :P (oi... i can't believe i just typed that.)
so yeah, especially now with all the gear to attach to myself while i'm out and about... i am officially a walking junkie.
completely unrelated, but it made me happy... so a large part of my diet is Dole salads... they're nice since i can buy a few bags a week and have different stuff in each without buying tons of heads of lettuce and misc other stuff... they have some good combinations of stuff. :)... anyhow, new flavor i found today (which isn't even listed on the website yet): "say cheese"... that's right, it's a bag of lettuce, with a separately sealed bag of shredded cheese inside for you to mix in. i was terribly amused. dole is my hero.
later dudes.
not that going over 300 miles in the past 3-4 months isn't an indicator, but...
you know how you see these people jogging around in their little jogging suits, hooked up to headphones and who knows what all else... although i've been walking 5 miles a day for months now, i've not identified with them.
today though... i've suddenly (in the past 24 hours even) accumulated a lot of walking extras.
since i got back from europe, leigh got an iPod for free with points from her credit card. she kept commenting that if i was going out walking so much, i should give her a couple CDs i want on it, and take it when i go out... so last night i gave her the first copy of the crazy mix i put together on saturday, and tonight was the first night to go out, iPod in hand... so now i've got the tangled mess of cords blasting music while i'm out and about for an hour and a half...
besides that, memphis jenny, knowing i've been all about walking for a bit now, sent me a belated birthday present that came over the weekend: an Omron pedometer. today was the first day i fiddled with it. it's kinda cute... i'd never thought of owning one before, but since i go out walking so much it's gonna be fun to take statistics. so far today i went 12839 steps, but 9971 of those were from my 5 mile walk... i underestimated my stride length, so the distance travelled bit isn't accurate... then again i think my stride length is a little longer when i'm on my walk at night than when i'm wandering around the house or the math dept... who knows. i recalibrated, so maybe tomorrow will give a more accurate reading.
those first two things are gifts... the last one was me... i decided if i'm workimng them so hard, maybe i should be a little nicer to my feet, so now my shoes have new insoles too... and like the ridiculous people on TV, i, too, can now say i'm gellin like a fellon. :P (oi... i can't believe i just typed that.)
so yeah, especially now with all the gear to attach to myself while i'm out and about... i am officially a walking junkie.
completely unrelated, but it made me happy... so a large part of my diet is Dole salads... they're nice since i can buy a few bags a week and have different stuff in each without buying tons of heads of lettuce and misc other stuff... they have some good combinations of stuff. :)... anyhow, new flavor i found today (which isn't even listed on the website yet): "say cheese"... that's right, it's a bag of lettuce, with a separately sealed bag of shredded cheese inside for you to mix in. i was terribly amused. dole is my hero.
later dudes.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
bonus points today go to...
* eric. i called him no less than 3 times to discuss math woes today... i've been trying to program something for dr. z. i should have done last week and did a lot of banging my head into the wall over things that didn't work... eric was patient, helpful, and encouraging with the math angst as he has similar feelings about different math problems
* leigh. leigh came into my room last night to say hi and see how my day had been... i've been in a huge funk and when i answered another question she asked and she misheard me and repeated something else, all confused, i snapped at her... she just backed off and let me be... when i came home tonight and commented "sorry for yelling at you last night, it wasn't your fault i was in a bad mood, i shouldn't have done it.", she replied "you didn't yell at me.", to which i commented "yes, i did, and i shouldn't have."... and she replied again "well you did, but it didn't bother me, you're allowed to be angry if that's how you feel"... leigh is about the best person on the planet to interact with when you're tired, grumpy, frustrated, etc., etc., etc. she has the most easy-going and cooperative attitude of anyone i've ever met and has a very well-tuned sense of when to talk to someone to cheer them up, and when to just let them have space. this is a good thing.
in non-bonus point land, on the way home from a meeting at church tonight, i was scanning through radio stations, not finding anything i wanted to stop on for more than 5 seconds until i came across a "family radio hymn sing"... it was exactly that... lots of church hymns i know by heart, sung by a church choir somewhere in california... apparently you can write them and get a copy of their hymnal for free and then each sunday night have a hymn sing along with the radio... the utmost in cheesy concepts, but while dealing with stupid NJ drivers for half an hour, i'd have to say listening to that was the calmest i'd been in a bit.
i'm in such a weird mood lately... i don't know what's up with that.
night y'all.
* leigh. leigh came into my room last night to say hi and see how my day had been... i've been in a huge funk and when i answered another question she asked and she misheard me and repeated something else, all confused, i snapped at her... she just backed off and let me be... when i came home tonight and commented "sorry for yelling at you last night, it wasn't your fault i was in a bad mood, i shouldn't have done it.", she replied "you didn't yell at me.", to which i commented "yes, i did, and i shouldn't have."... and she replied again "well you did, but it didn't bother me, you're allowed to be angry if that's how you feel"... leigh is about the best person on the planet to interact with when you're tired, grumpy, frustrated, etc., etc., etc. she has the most easy-going and cooperative attitude of anyone i've ever met and has a very well-tuned sense of when to talk to someone to cheer them up, and when to just let them have space. this is a good thing.
in non-bonus point land, on the way home from a meeting at church tonight, i was scanning through radio stations, not finding anything i wanted to stop on for more than 5 seconds until i came across a "family radio hymn sing"... it was exactly that... lots of church hymns i know by heart, sung by a church choir somewhere in california... apparently you can write them and get a copy of their hymnal for free and then each sunday night have a hymn sing along with the radio... the utmost in cheesy concepts, but while dealing with stupid NJ drivers for half an hour, i'd have to say listening to that was the calmest i'd been in a bit.
i'm in such a weird mood lately... i don't know what's up with that.
night y'all.
eh
after talking to me yesterday, my mom says that she just won't talk to me (other than next weekend when we're both in pittsburgh for my cousin's wedding) until after my oral quals so that she doesn't feel like she needs to ask "are you depressed?" or "are you ok?" every five minutes.
my attitude lately sucks... which makes me lash out at people, and not be a good listener at all... which basically means i'm a sucky friend lately too.
this is the most cheery post ever, eh?
later dudes.
my attitude lately sucks... which makes me lash out at people, and not be a good listener at all... which basically means i'm a sucky friend lately too.
this is the most cheery post ever, eh?
later dudes.
Saturday, September 17, 2005
music, anyone?
current playlist i've carefully constructed in the past 24 hours:
1. The Dolphins (Hitchiker's Guide Soundtrack)
2. So Long and Thanks for All the Fish (Hitchiker's Guide Soundtrack)
3. Play It Loud (MXPX)
4. We Didn't Start the Fire (Billy Joel)
5. Basket Case (Green Day)
6. Invitation to Understanding (MXPX)
7. When I Come Around (Green Day)
8. Time Of Your Life (Green Day)
9. Iris (Goo Goo Dolls)
10. Fix You (Coldplay)
11. World on Fire (Sarah McLachlan)
12. Eileen's Song (Burlap to Cashmere)
13. Swallowed in the Sea (Coldplay)
14. Irj nekem egy dalt (Vera Schmidt)
15. Man in Black (Johnny Cash)
16. zero measure set (Ben Bunting)
17. Finite Simple Group of Order Two (The Klein Four Group)
18. Rince De (Michael W. Smith)
19. Firedance (Princesses of the Violin)
20. Suvit a szel (Vera Schmidt)
21. Fair (Remy Zero)
22. Let Go (Frou Frou)
23. And So It Goes (Billy Joel)
24. Til Kingdom Come (Coldplay)
what does this say about my mood lately?
1. The Dolphins (Hitchiker's Guide Soundtrack)
2. So Long and Thanks for All the Fish (Hitchiker's Guide Soundtrack)
3. Play It Loud (MXPX)
4. We Didn't Start the Fire (Billy Joel)
5. Basket Case (Green Day)
6. Invitation to Understanding (MXPX)
7. When I Come Around (Green Day)
8. Time Of Your Life (Green Day)
9. Iris (Goo Goo Dolls)
10. Fix You (Coldplay)
11. World on Fire (Sarah McLachlan)
12. Eileen's Song (Burlap to Cashmere)
13. Swallowed in the Sea (Coldplay)
14. Irj nekem egy dalt (Vera Schmidt)
15. Man in Black (Johnny Cash)
16. zero measure set (Ben Bunting)
17. Finite Simple Group of Order Two (The Klein Four Group)
18. Rince De (Michael W. Smith)
19. Firedance (Princesses of the Violin)
20. Suvit a szel (Vera Schmidt)
21. Fair (Remy Zero)
22. Let Go (Frou Frou)
23. And So It Goes (Billy Joel)
24. Til Kingdom Come (Coldplay)
what does this say about my mood lately?
Thursday, September 15, 2005
ziggy is soooo totally my hero
... and this is totally math talking to me today
(yes i know math is an abstract entity, not a person behind a desk... it's a metaphor :P)
book review?
So i just finished The Faith of George W. Bush by Stephen Mansfield.
barnes and noble online was having a really cheap booksale this summer and i picked it up then...
before having read other people's reviews (on say amazon.com... see link when you click on the title above), my comments would be the following:
from reading this book i learned many things about the president i had no idea about before. the goal of the book is to weave together the story of his journey of faith through quotes and anecdotes about the president's life, and the book weaves more of a complex figure that i would have necessarily thought of before. it was fascinating for me to read about all kinds of aspects of pres. bush i'd never thought of before. i wondered from time to time what bush himself would think of the way his life was told in this book.
since this book is written (obviously from the title) as bush's biography from the perspective of looking at the religious aspects of it, people who are not religious probably have little to no interest in some sections of it and would disagree with some of the phrasing used in the book... but this is obvious from the title... if the topic isn't your cup of tea, so be it, and that's fine.
that sector of the book-reading population aside, i think you can read a book like this whether you like the president and his policies or not. on a totally different tangent from what i thought of the book (2 paragraphs ago... i.e. i enjoyed it and was intrigued by what i read as many of the anecdotes it told were new to me, so it was quality recreational reading for me)... it annoys me to see some of the reviews on amazon. it seems to me that many people wrote reviews of the president rather than reviews of the book. i don't think that mansfield (the author) paints a picture of bush as the most holy pious man on earth. he gives stories and reflections of people who have met bush, and his main goal in the final chapter and epilogue is to point out that you can't stereotype anyone or you lose their complexity and their humanness in the process (he even points out that bush, in his speaking, is guilty of this)... more than anything, i think mansfield points out that bush is a real, human, omplex, and interesting figure... that's he's not flat and one-sided... that he's not as simple-minded or stupid as he at times appears and/or is portrayed in the public sphere... that there's depth to him. i think it's possible to accept him as a complex and deep character whether you like him or not.
excerpts from one review that i actually respected (on amazon):
"I was skeptical, but am now impressed, That is with the book, not with President... For me, this book developed President Bush into a real person, a flawed, but rich personality... "
that, i can respect. my feelings on the president go back and forth... my voting history in general is about half and half between the two major political parties and i hate laying claim to either, i vote for the person i think will do the best job... while i did vote for bush both times he ran for president, that isn't to say i follow him wholeheartedly or that i agree with everything he does, because that's far from true... i think no leader is perfect, and all too often the only things we think of them are what the public spotlight shows us, which washes out a lot of the human-ness of the person. this book, for me, filled in more of the complexity of making bush into more than a public cardboard cutout. it made him more real, virtues, faults, and all.
(this was extremely rambly... sorry)
to the people on amazon who write crazy things: review books, not people... there IS a difference
barnes and noble online was having a really cheap booksale this summer and i picked it up then...
before having read other people's reviews (on say amazon.com... see link when you click on the title above), my comments would be the following:
from reading this book i learned many things about the president i had no idea about before. the goal of the book is to weave together the story of his journey of faith through quotes and anecdotes about the president's life, and the book weaves more of a complex figure that i would have necessarily thought of before. it was fascinating for me to read about all kinds of aspects of pres. bush i'd never thought of before. i wondered from time to time what bush himself would think of the way his life was told in this book.
since this book is written (obviously from the title) as bush's biography from the perspective of looking at the religious aspects of it, people who are not religious probably have little to no interest in some sections of it and would disagree with some of the phrasing used in the book... but this is obvious from the title... if the topic isn't your cup of tea, so be it, and that's fine.
that sector of the book-reading population aside, i think you can read a book like this whether you like the president and his policies or not. on a totally different tangent from what i thought of the book (2 paragraphs ago... i.e. i enjoyed it and was intrigued by what i read as many of the anecdotes it told were new to me, so it was quality recreational reading for me)... it annoys me to see some of the reviews on amazon. it seems to me that many people wrote reviews of the president rather than reviews of the book. i don't think that mansfield (the author) paints a picture of bush as the most holy pious man on earth. he gives stories and reflections of people who have met bush, and his main goal in the final chapter and epilogue is to point out that you can't stereotype anyone or you lose their complexity and their humanness in the process (he even points out that bush, in his speaking, is guilty of this)... more than anything, i think mansfield points out that bush is a real, human, omplex, and interesting figure... that's he's not flat and one-sided... that he's not as simple-minded or stupid as he at times appears and/or is portrayed in the public sphere... that there's depth to him. i think it's possible to accept him as a complex and deep character whether you like him or not.
excerpts from one review that i actually respected (on amazon):
"I was skeptical, but am now impressed, That is with the book, not with President... For me, this book developed President Bush into a real person, a flawed, but rich personality... "
that, i can respect. my feelings on the president go back and forth... my voting history in general is about half and half between the two major political parties and i hate laying claim to either, i vote for the person i think will do the best job... while i did vote for bush both times he ran for president, that isn't to say i follow him wholeheartedly or that i agree with everything he does, because that's far from true... i think no leader is perfect, and all too often the only things we think of them are what the public spotlight shows us, which washes out a lot of the human-ness of the person. this book, for me, filled in more of the complexity of making bush into more than a public cardboard cutout. it made him more real, virtues, faults, and all.
(this was extremely rambly... sorry)
to the people on amazon who write crazy things: review books, not people... there IS a difference
various and sundry
* i now have my plane ticket to go to valpo homecoming weekend for nicole's labyrinth dedication. this will be good.
* i had a fantastic dinner with sarah last night (she's a year ahead of me here at rutgers in the math ph.d. program is fun to hang out with, but also enjoys giving advice when i need it)... yesterday i asked her advisor (sarah has one of the *cough* 5 female profs. (out of over 100) in the rutgers math dept. as her advisor) to be on my orals committee (she said yes), and if she would meet with me to look over the syllabus for my minor topic (we're meeting today at 2). so soon i'll have a working syllabus for both a major and a minor topic, and i have 2 committed committee members... 2 to go. i know who one of those will be... the other? there's a logical prof to ask that i've taken many classes with but don't want to ask really.... sarah had the brilliant idea of trying to get greenfield... he's not into combinatorics, but maybe we can convince him he is... he's written 2 papers with combinatorial in the title and he does come to some of the more combinatorial seminars reasonably often. i like that idea... but first i gotta convince dr. z. that it's a good idea.
* within the week, my brother should be headed down to the gulf coast to work on a relief team... he installs satellite dishes with dish network, and after big storms where lots of service goes out, work sends them to work like 12-15 hours shifts in affected regions getting everyone back online. they keep delaying sending them... as, understandably, satellite TV comes lower in priority than like um, utilities and things like that, and the basic infrastructure of some of those other services needs to be up before the dish guys can do their job... but also especially since one of his work buddies (like my parents age) had a heart attack on the job on tuesday so all the work guys are getting off and going to the funeral in uniform in the work van on friday (the guy's mother's request)... completely unexpected... so brother's had a totally weird week.
* next weekend (sept 24), my cousin heather gets married in pittsburgh... i'm helping serve communion during the wedding... to save on gas $$, i asked one of the math grad students who is a year behind me and did his undergrad at carnegie mellon (in pittsburgh) if he wants to ride with... then he can see friends all weekend, and we both get a trip to pitt for like $1.50 gas and $5 turnpike toll instead of the $3 gas and $10 turnpike toll each way it would cost if i went on my own. thing is, this is a very friendly guy, but i've honestly never talked to him for more than 5 minutes straight since i've been a lot of a hermit for the past year or so, and next weekend we'll be in the car 6 hours each way... it'll be entertaining to say the least
* i find it really sad that "sleeping in until i wake up on my own" anymore consists of sleeping in til 8:45am... i guess that is a few more hours than the 6am i was up at yesterday or the 6:30 i was up at on tuesday, but still...
i should totally be working on math, but i'm 1 chapter from done with a non-math book i've been chipping away at for a couple weeks... finishing that, review in about an hour i'd guess, then exercising, late breakfast, and getting lazy self to campus. i need to be productive about something today... we'll see how long it takes me to get motivated.
later dudes.
* i had a fantastic dinner with sarah last night (she's a year ahead of me here at rutgers in the math ph.d. program is fun to hang out with, but also enjoys giving advice when i need it)... yesterday i asked her advisor (sarah has one of the *cough* 5 female profs. (out of over 100) in the rutgers math dept. as her advisor) to be on my orals committee (she said yes), and if she would meet with me to look over the syllabus for my minor topic (we're meeting today at 2). so soon i'll have a working syllabus for both a major and a minor topic, and i have 2 committed committee members... 2 to go. i know who one of those will be... the other? there's a logical prof to ask that i've taken many classes with but don't want to ask really.... sarah had the brilliant idea of trying to get greenfield... he's not into combinatorics, but maybe we can convince him he is... he's written 2 papers with combinatorial in the title and he does come to some of the more combinatorial seminars reasonably often. i like that idea... but first i gotta convince dr. z. that it's a good idea.
* within the week, my brother should be headed down to the gulf coast to work on a relief team... he installs satellite dishes with dish network, and after big storms where lots of service goes out, work sends them to work like 12-15 hours shifts in affected regions getting everyone back online. they keep delaying sending them... as, understandably, satellite TV comes lower in priority than like um, utilities and things like that, and the basic infrastructure of some of those other services needs to be up before the dish guys can do their job... but also especially since one of his work buddies (like my parents age) had a heart attack on the job on tuesday so all the work guys are getting off and going to the funeral in uniform in the work van on friday (the guy's mother's request)... completely unexpected... so brother's had a totally weird week.
* next weekend (sept 24), my cousin heather gets married in pittsburgh... i'm helping serve communion during the wedding... to save on gas $$, i asked one of the math grad students who is a year behind me and did his undergrad at carnegie mellon (in pittsburgh) if he wants to ride with... then he can see friends all weekend, and we both get a trip to pitt for like $1.50 gas and $5 turnpike toll instead of the $3 gas and $10 turnpike toll each way it would cost if i went on my own. thing is, this is a very friendly guy, but i've honestly never talked to him for more than 5 minutes straight since i've been a lot of a hermit for the past year or so, and next weekend we'll be in the car 6 hours each way... it'll be entertaining to say the least
* i find it really sad that "sleeping in until i wake up on my own" anymore consists of sleeping in til 8:45am... i guess that is a few more hours than the 6am i was up at yesterday or the 6:30 i was up at on tuesday, but still...
i should totally be working on math, but i'm 1 chapter from done with a non-math book i've been chipping away at for a couple weeks... finishing that, review in about an hour i'd guess, then exercising, late breakfast, and getting lazy self to campus. i need to be productive about something today... we'll see how long it takes me to get motivated.
later dudes.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
yay?
i saw gas on my walk tonight for a mere $2.99/gallon. (that station was $3.07 yesterday, $3.11 the day before, and $3.13 the day before that... falling 2, then 4, then 8 cents... maybe tomorrow it'll fall 16? ;) )
that's still totally $3 gas, but it's funny how the first digit changing from a 3 to a 2 affects you psychologically.
i have to teach in less than 11 hours... i should be asleep.
that's still totally $3 gas, but it's funny how the first digit changing from a 3 to a 2 affects you psychologically.
i have to teach in less than 11 hours... i should be asleep.
Monday, September 12, 2005
oi........
for reference, roy is my step-gpa... this just in from my aunt in pittsburgh
BTW - If your mom hasn't contacted you yet - Roy is not doing well (although
he was better today than yesterday). He can not swallow and they believe he
had a stroke. He has refused to have a feeding tube, so unless his
swallowing improves so he can get adequate nutrition, he will probably pass
within about a month. They have him on fluids and are excercising 'comfort
only' measures. He's returned to Concordia and they have instructions not
to send him back to the hospital...
BTW - If your mom hasn't contacted you yet - Roy is not doing well (although
he was better today than yesterday). He can not swallow and they believe he
had a stroke. He has refused to have a feeding tube, so unless his
swallowing improves so he can get adequate nutrition, he will probably pass
within about a month. They have him on fluids and are excercising 'comfort
only' measures. He's returned to Concordia and they have instructions not
to send him back to the hospital...
i have the world's coolest advisor
i had like no math to show him this week, and he was totally cool with that and talked with me about what i did manage to get read this week.
when i showed him my draft of a qual syllabus, his only comments were "yeah, this looks great... actually, to make it easier for you, if there's anything you don't want to learn or that prof. (insert name of one of the 4 profs who will most likely be on my committee) knows a lot about, take it off so that (s)he can't grill you on it."
heh.
an hour til office hours.
how much calc do i remember? how many students will actually show up for help? oi...
on the agenda for the night post 6pm: bus/walk home, dinner, 5 mile walk around town, write up combo hw for tomorrow, grade 105 calculus quizzes.
aren't you incredibly jealous?
(yes, i'm in an exceedingly snappy and bizarre mood this week.)
when i showed him my draft of a qual syllabus, his only comments were "yeah, this looks great... actually, to make it easier for you, if there's anything you don't want to learn or that prof. (insert name of one of the 4 profs who will most likely be on my committee) knows a lot about, take it off so that (s)he can't grill you on it."
heh.
an hour til office hours.
how much calc do i remember? how many students will actually show up for help? oi...
on the agenda for the night post 6pm: bus/walk home, dinner, 5 mile walk around town, write up combo hw for tomorrow, grade 105 calculus quizzes.
aren't you incredibly jealous?
(yes, i'm in an exceedingly snappy and bizarre mood this week.)
a thought
i could be in tierra del fuego for under $700 if i leave on tuesday... that's just another 2 to 4 hour plane ride or a few days boat ride to antarctica (which would cost double the plane to chile/argentina, but whatever)... i think this is an excellent plan.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
ode to all the ridiculous people
... and man have there been a lot today.
actually, the start of the day was alright... it's the past 4 hours that have me in an irritable mood.
event 1: at 6 tonight, my church had a meeting. we have a parsonage (a house owned by the church for a pastor to live in). our previous pastor had used the parsonage for nearly 30 years... back then, it was the thing to do to own a parsonage and offer it to your pastor instead of a housing allowance and this is what pastors wanted... now, the idea of a parsonage is a little more outdated and more and more pastors would prefer to choose their own place. out of the 12 pastors we considered for our church, the one we want to offer the job to was the only one who said he'd consider a parsonage, and then after visiting said that it didn't meet his family's needs and he'd prefer to have an option to get his own place. whether this is the pastor we get or not, we still have to discuss the parsonage as a church because by and large the pastors we're considering don't want it.
what irritated the heck out of me was when one of the voting age teenages got up during the meeting and commented "you keep saying our parsonage doesn't meet his needs, i think it's more that it doesn't meet his wants", and then a bunch of people applauded.... i was grateful when an adult got up shortly later and commented "you take it for granted that you can choose where to live and how to live with your money, if we're asked someone to come and minister to us, why should we take away his right for the same... frankly i don't know how pastor j (our previous pastor who recently retired) managed it with 5 kids in that house... don't get me wrong, it's served us well, but most of us would not be able to use the space well with our whole families... we can't be asking something of a potential pastor that we won't ask of ourselves"
people raised valid questions about the option we're considering: selling the current parsonage and then going in 60/40 or 70/30 with the money to help whoever comes as our next pastor to buy a new house... then it's still a parsonage, but kinda upgraded,... works out better in our budget... since it's still a parsonage, gives the pastor tax relief, etc., etc.... i agree that there's more research to be done first...
what irritates me is the sentiment a few people repeatedly voiced very strongly that somehow our particular 30-40 year old parsonage is intricately tied up in who the congregation is and if a potential pastor is too good to take our parsonage then we don't want him. that's a ridiculous comment. times have changed,... we need to be able to adapt accordingly and provide for whoever we get as a pastor... because that attitude is going to keep us from getting one... thankfully there were enough people who commented what i just said too, so it wasn't a unanimously stupid opinion.
i had planned on 30-45 minutes... the discussion went on for an hour and a half very heatedly, and we were still 15 people short of a quorum, so we couldn't even officially vote either... it was a draining and frustrating hour and a half.
..............
after that, i was going to have dinner with scott... which was totally cool. we had a good chat and all... but shortly after we ordered our food our server raced to the table to say "so, there's an emergency at home, i'm handing your orders over to someone else"... only he never got us another server and he never left... after dropping off our food and saying he'd get me a refill (which 20 minutes later still wasn't there and when i got up to get my own, scott flagged down a bus boy to do it for me), he hid in the kitchen for awhile. (the emergency was that his babysitter got in a car wreck, but it turned out that she was fine and his mom took care of things without him)... when scott and i had been sitting for 20 more minutes (40 after our food came) and no one had been to our table again, i finally got up and went to another server and said "so, no one's been to our table in 30 minutes... i want a box and the check 5 minutes ago.... this is extremely ridiculous"... within 30 seconds, our server appeared with the box and the check and it was taken care of...
scott was fairly impressed to see me snap at someone, commenting that he never would have expected to see that out of me.... he seriously gave me like a dozen high fives on the way out.
so (1) expecting people to discuss parsonage issues objectively instead of personifying the parsonage and getting all offended and worked up on its behalf is apparently too much to expect
and
(2) expecting good service for dinner when there's 3 servers and 4 tables of customers is apparently wishful thinking if you end up being the odd table out... because at 8:30 at night, who can be expected to wait on 2 tables efficiently?!!
people can be so frustratingly ridiculous.
oh... and this annoyed me too... i got an IM from a perfect stranger earlier who came across a website or something of mine and then IMed me with...
"hi! are you a nerd?"
"what's 1254 x 1365 x 63 x 87125 x 10375321095?"
people can be so irritatingly stupid too.
back to writing up a first draft of my syllabus for my oral quals... this is NOT fun.
later dudes.
actually, the start of the day was alright... it's the past 4 hours that have me in an irritable mood.
event 1: at 6 tonight, my church had a meeting. we have a parsonage (a house owned by the church for a pastor to live in). our previous pastor had used the parsonage for nearly 30 years... back then, it was the thing to do to own a parsonage and offer it to your pastor instead of a housing allowance and this is what pastors wanted... now, the idea of a parsonage is a little more outdated and more and more pastors would prefer to choose their own place. out of the 12 pastors we considered for our church, the one we want to offer the job to was the only one who said he'd consider a parsonage, and then after visiting said that it didn't meet his family's needs and he'd prefer to have an option to get his own place. whether this is the pastor we get or not, we still have to discuss the parsonage as a church because by and large the pastors we're considering don't want it.
what irritated the heck out of me was when one of the voting age teenages got up during the meeting and commented "you keep saying our parsonage doesn't meet his needs, i think it's more that it doesn't meet his wants", and then a bunch of people applauded.... i was grateful when an adult got up shortly later and commented "you take it for granted that you can choose where to live and how to live with your money, if we're asked someone to come and minister to us, why should we take away his right for the same... frankly i don't know how pastor j (our previous pastor who recently retired) managed it with 5 kids in that house... don't get me wrong, it's served us well, but most of us would not be able to use the space well with our whole families... we can't be asking something of a potential pastor that we won't ask of ourselves"
people raised valid questions about the option we're considering: selling the current parsonage and then going in 60/40 or 70/30 with the money to help whoever comes as our next pastor to buy a new house... then it's still a parsonage, but kinda upgraded,... works out better in our budget... since it's still a parsonage, gives the pastor tax relief, etc., etc.... i agree that there's more research to be done first...
what irritates me is the sentiment a few people repeatedly voiced very strongly that somehow our particular 30-40 year old parsonage is intricately tied up in who the congregation is and if a potential pastor is too good to take our parsonage then we don't want him. that's a ridiculous comment. times have changed,... we need to be able to adapt accordingly and provide for whoever we get as a pastor... because that attitude is going to keep us from getting one... thankfully there were enough people who commented what i just said too, so it wasn't a unanimously stupid opinion.
i had planned on 30-45 minutes... the discussion went on for an hour and a half very heatedly, and we were still 15 people short of a quorum, so we couldn't even officially vote either... it was a draining and frustrating hour and a half.
..............
after that, i was going to have dinner with scott... which was totally cool. we had a good chat and all... but shortly after we ordered our food our server raced to the table to say "so, there's an emergency at home, i'm handing your orders over to someone else"... only he never got us another server and he never left... after dropping off our food and saying he'd get me a refill (which 20 minutes later still wasn't there and when i got up to get my own, scott flagged down a bus boy to do it for me), he hid in the kitchen for awhile. (the emergency was that his babysitter got in a car wreck, but it turned out that she was fine and his mom took care of things without him)... when scott and i had been sitting for 20 more minutes (40 after our food came) and no one had been to our table again, i finally got up and went to another server and said "so, no one's been to our table in 30 minutes... i want a box and the check 5 minutes ago.... this is extremely ridiculous"... within 30 seconds, our server appeared with the box and the check and it was taken care of...
scott was fairly impressed to see me snap at someone, commenting that he never would have expected to see that out of me.... he seriously gave me like a dozen high fives on the way out.
so (1) expecting people to discuss parsonage issues objectively instead of personifying the parsonage and getting all offended and worked up on its behalf is apparently too much to expect
and
(2) expecting good service for dinner when there's 3 servers and 4 tables of customers is apparently wishful thinking if you end up being the odd table out... because at 8:30 at night, who can be expected to wait on 2 tables efficiently?!!
people can be so frustratingly ridiculous.
oh... and this annoyed me too... i got an IM from a perfect stranger earlier who came across a website or something of mine and then IMed me with...
"hi! are you a nerd?"
"what's 1254 x 1365 x 63 x 87125 x 10375321095?"
people can be so irritatingly stupid too.
back to writing up a first draft of my syllabus for my oral quals... this is NOT fun.
later dudes.
Saturday, September 10, 2005
oi
grand plans of doing sooo much today... i worked hard, but have dismally little to show for it... oops.
ben suggested we see a movie this weekend, so it was "brothers grimm", only i found it completely disturbing and scary... oi...
happier notes of the day?
* i got new sunglasses (the cool ones i got in may and adored and used all summer finally broke irreparably yesterday)
* while out on my 5 mile walk of the day, once i hit the far end of my walk, in edison, the next town over, i hit the town just right to witness their "fall family festival of fireworks" (how many f's can you put in a single title?... dude... of course i was walking down the street, not at the actual viewing location, but i could see quite a bit... that was kinda fun.
back to math for awhile, and then sleep.
later dudes.
ben suggested we see a movie this weekend, so it was "brothers grimm", only i found it completely disturbing and scary... oi...
happier notes of the day?
* i got new sunglasses (the cool ones i got in may and adored and used all summer finally broke irreparably yesterday)
* while out on my 5 mile walk of the day, once i hit the far end of my walk, in edison, the next town over, i hit the town just right to witness their "fall family festival of fireworks" (how many f's can you put in a single title?... dude... of course i was walking down the street, not at the actual viewing location, but i could see quite a bit... that was kinda fun.
back to math for awhile, and then sleep.
later dudes.
csilag buli!
(that's "star party!" for those of you who don't understand the half a dozen hungarian words i know well :P)
eric and i used to do this all the time our first year here, and then last year fell down on the job.
part of the problem is that there's so much light polution around here (on account of philly, NYC, etc.), and the other problem is that since we're in the "urban corridor" between the two cities, it's really hard to find an open space without bright lights shining on it (other than parks where cops come and yell at you for being in the park after dark). having had the latter situation often enough, and having had the regular field we used for most of our first year get built up into a bunch of brightly lit buildings, we lost enthusiasm for a bit.
until tonight.
tonight, with the weather being gorgeous (it's nearly 1am and it's still in the 60s outside, and perfectly clear), i suggested the star party plot to eric, and he was game... instead of the usual parks where we get yelled at though, i suggested we drive northwest a little and find some open space where the cities are more spread out... we drove about half an hour and found a nice hilly street completely without streetlights, and camped out in someone's front yard... we were in jersey, but could clearly see the milky way! that was fantastic! we kept at it for an hour and a half... my telescope has the feature that if you align it and tell it the day and time, it will give you a tour of "tonight's best"... so we saw nebulas, star clusters, famous stars... the moon was down, but we were out late enough that mars rose and i got to see it in a telescope for the first time. it was a good night. :)
all this is to say...
astronomy is cool. :)
(as if that's a big surprise from me.
the end :P
eric and i used to do this all the time our first year here, and then last year fell down on the job.
part of the problem is that there's so much light polution around here (on account of philly, NYC, etc.), and the other problem is that since we're in the "urban corridor" between the two cities, it's really hard to find an open space without bright lights shining on it (other than parks where cops come and yell at you for being in the park after dark). having had the latter situation often enough, and having had the regular field we used for most of our first year get built up into a bunch of brightly lit buildings, we lost enthusiasm for a bit.
until tonight.
tonight, with the weather being gorgeous (it's nearly 1am and it's still in the 60s outside, and perfectly clear), i suggested the star party plot to eric, and he was game... instead of the usual parks where we get yelled at though, i suggested we drive northwest a little and find some open space where the cities are more spread out... we drove about half an hour and found a nice hilly street completely without streetlights, and camped out in someone's front yard... we were in jersey, but could clearly see the milky way! that was fantastic! we kept at it for an hour and a half... my telescope has the feature that if you align it and tell it the day and time, it will give you a tour of "tonight's best"... so we saw nebulas, star clusters, famous stars... the moon was down, but we were out late enough that mars rose and i got to see it in a telescope for the first time. it was a good night. :)
all this is to say...
astronomy is cool. :)
(as if that's a big surprise from me.
the end :P
Friday, September 09, 2005
bonding...?
i'm trying to figure out what exactly my role and authority as a teaching assistant is.
one of my roommates, who has taught for 2 summers here and was a ta both semesters last year has a general policy that you can take quizzes early, but not late, and that's what i planned to adhere to. only difference is, she writes her own quizzes, and my professor writes mine. fine.
one of my students showed me a note that she would miss next week's class and requested to take the quiz early, which i was fine with and willing to do. i asked the professor for the quiz early so that my student could take it, and he said no: that there would be no makeup quizzes early or late for security reasons. since A quiz is only 1% of a student's final grade, it shouldn't be a big deal.
so here i am, trying to be helpful to my student, and the prof has a contrary policy to what i said... i had to
(a) write an apology to the prof
and
(b) write an apology to the student and sound like i don't know what i'm doing
i like to try to make everyone happy (which never works, i know), so it makes me sad to have to do this.
on a happier note, since i'm saving gas by walking a mile to the bus and taking it to and from school this semester, when i got on the bus after class this morning, it was packed,... nonethless, immediately i hear from 5 people away "hey! aren't you my calculus TA?"... i can't remember the guy's name from yesterday at all (they met one of me, and i met 105 of them, but i think he was the 3rd person to turn in his quiz yesterday so i should be able to figure out his name when i get around to grading), but he was with a couple more of my students i recognized too (but don't know names of yet)... random to see them on the bus, good that they're not too scared of me to strike up a random conversation for 5 minutes. :P
oi... happy(?) weekend... there's too much math to do already.
later dudes.
one of my roommates, who has taught for 2 summers here and was a ta both semesters last year has a general policy that you can take quizzes early, but not late, and that's what i planned to adhere to. only difference is, she writes her own quizzes, and my professor writes mine. fine.
one of my students showed me a note that she would miss next week's class and requested to take the quiz early, which i was fine with and willing to do. i asked the professor for the quiz early so that my student could take it, and he said no: that there would be no makeup quizzes early or late for security reasons. since A quiz is only 1% of a student's final grade, it shouldn't be a big deal.
so here i am, trying to be helpful to my student, and the prof has a contrary policy to what i said... i had to
(a) write an apology to the prof
and
(b) write an apology to the student and sound like i don't know what i'm doing
i like to try to make everyone happy (which never works, i know), so it makes me sad to have to do this.
on a happier note, since i'm saving gas by walking a mile to the bus and taking it to and from school this semester, when i got on the bus after class this morning, it was packed,... nonethless, immediately i hear from 5 people away "hey! aren't you my calculus TA?"... i can't remember the guy's name from yesterday at all (they met one of me, and i met 105 of them, but i think he was the 3rd person to turn in his quiz yesterday so i should be able to figure out his name when i get around to grading), but he was with a couple more of my students i recognized too (but don't know names of yet)... random to see them on the bus, good that they're not too scared of me to strike up a random conversation for 5 minutes. :P
oi... happy(?) weekend... there's too much math to do already.
later dudes.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
doht
so i "slept in" today. since i've been waking up at 6 or 6:30 most days, i woke up fully rested at 8:45
since then, i've been in my pajamas working at the computer, when the doorbell rang... i was hoping it was my landlord coming to fix the A/C, which has been broken for the past month (but we were out of town, then he was), but instead it was two jehovah's witnesses. to explain my messed up hair and still being in pajamas, i claimed i had just woken up, even though i've been moving for about an hour.
they were SO EXCITED to hear from me that i believe in God and go to church regularly, claiming that it extremely rare with 20-somethings to be "spiritual", and they want to come back and talk to me again sometime. we'll see. i need to research better what they believe, because i know that although we have common ground on many things, there are many things that are big sticking points too. but i'm all about sharing what i believe and hearing them out and having a discussion.
heck, why do i bring up religious issues with my agnostic and/or athiest friends in the math department? it's good to chat to (a) challenge other people to think and (b) make me think hard about why i believe what i do too. it's not my job to convert people to one thing or another (i believe that only God can do that), but i don't think it's a bad thing to keep people on their toes and keep them thinking either.
now: exercise, breakfast, work, lunch, office hours, seminar, dinner with my advisor and other fun people, 5 mile walk, what a day....
later dudes
since then, i've been in my pajamas working at the computer, when the doorbell rang... i was hoping it was my landlord coming to fix the A/C, which has been broken for the past month (but we were out of town, then he was), but instead it was two jehovah's witnesses. to explain my messed up hair and still being in pajamas, i claimed i had just woken up, even though i've been moving for about an hour.
they were SO EXCITED to hear from me that i believe in God and go to church regularly, claiming that it extremely rare with 20-somethings to be "spiritual", and they want to come back and talk to me again sometime. we'll see. i need to research better what they believe, because i know that although we have common ground on many things, there are many things that are big sticking points too. but i'm all about sharing what i believe and hearing them out and having a discussion.
heck, why do i bring up religious issues with my agnostic and/or athiest friends in the math department? it's good to chat to (a) challenge other people to think and (b) make me think hard about why i believe what i do too. it's not my job to convert people to one thing or another (i believe that only God can do that), but i don't think it's a bad thing to keep people on their toes and keep them thinking either.
now: exercise, breakfast, work, lunch, office hours, seminar, dinner with my advisor and other fun people, 5 mile walk, what a day....
later dudes
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
go me?
first day of teaching down, 3 months to go.
it actually went much better than anticipated. after panicking for awhile last night and chatting about my worries with eric for an hour last night on the phone, and then with ben on IM for an hour, i didn't sleep more than 4 hours and was jumpy this morning too... somehow, though, once i picked up the chalk and wrote my name on the board in each section i was fine.
apparently me holding chalk is an immediate calming influence, as between my 3 sections i was jumpy again, but as soon as i had chalk in my hand again and had something to write on the board i was ok again. go figure.
anyhow, it went much more smoothly than expected, and my students actually answered my questions too. we'll see how they did on their quizes when i get around to grading them.
ben had agreed to take me out to lunch if it went well, eric had offered to take me out to lunch if it went miserably, so either way i was covered, so ben and i hit up tgi fridays. my appetite is definitely much smaller than it used to be! i'm getting there... jared made some comment this afternoon about how ben and i both look like completely different people than a year ago (ben's lost 35 pounds in that time and maintained it as his new ideal weight... i've lost between 40 and 45 now, and the goal is still 100)... jared says he can picture me next year being "like one of those anorexic-looking girls who everyone wants to feed all the time b/c they're so freaking skinny"... whatever that means. skinny and lara are generally not words that go together in my mind. my goal is just to hit the top of the healthy BMI range for my height, so we'll see... my weight hasn't been what my goal is since 6th or 7th grade, and i was definitely shorter than too.... so whenever i hit it, i definitely won't look at all how i did ever before... whatever that means.
my landlord has been banging around the attic for half an hour making lots of noise... i think he just vacuumed the stairs that run along the back of the house to get up to the attic and down to the basement... we sure haven't swept them in the past year... in fact, sometimes when i'm lazy, i sweep the floors and sweep the dust all into that stairwell and close the door again (don't tell). i hope when i head out on my walk in a bit that he doesn't holler at me about it... we'll see.
apparently people are playing euchre at my house tonight... i haven't played in ages... i won't be back from my walk until at least half an hour after they start though, so who knows if there will be a table for me to get in on or not.
i think that's all the random things i have worth mentioning this go around... time to get a move on and get in my 5 miles of the day. :P later dudes!
it actually went much better than anticipated. after panicking for awhile last night and chatting about my worries with eric for an hour last night on the phone, and then with ben on IM for an hour, i didn't sleep more than 4 hours and was jumpy this morning too... somehow, though, once i picked up the chalk and wrote my name on the board in each section i was fine.
apparently me holding chalk is an immediate calming influence, as between my 3 sections i was jumpy again, but as soon as i had chalk in my hand again and had something to write on the board i was ok again. go figure.
anyhow, it went much more smoothly than expected, and my students actually answered my questions too. we'll see how they did on their quizes when i get around to grading them.
ben had agreed to take me out to lunch if it went well, eric had offered to take me out to lunch if it went miserably, so either way i was covered, so ben and i hit up tgi fridays. my appetite is definitely much smaller than it used to be! i'm getting there... jared made some comment this afternoon about how ben and i both look like completely different people than a year ago (ben's lost 35 pounds in that time and maintained it as his new ideal weight... i've lost between 40 and 45 now, and the goal is still 100)... jared says he can picture me next year being "like one of those anorexic-looking girls who everyone wants to feed all the time b/c they're so freaking skinny"... whatever that means. skinny and lara are generally not words that go together in my mind. my goal is just to hit the top of the healthy BMI range for my height, so we'll see... my weight hasn't been what my goal is since 6th or 7th grade, and i was definitely shorter than too.... so whenever i hit it, i definitely won't look at all how i did ever before... whatever that means.
my landlord has been banging around the attic for half an hour making lots of noise... i think he just vacuumed the stairs that run along the back of the house to get up to the attic and down to the basement... we sure haven't swept them in the past year... in fact, sometimes when i'm lazy, i sweep the floors and sweep the dust all into that stairwell and close the door again (don't tell). i hope when i head out on my walk in a bit that he doesn't holler at me about it... we'll see.
apparently people are playing euchre at my house tonight... i haven't played in ages... i won't be back from my walk until at least half an hour after they start though, so who knows if there will be a table for me to get in on or not.
i think that's all the random things i have worth mentioning this go around... time to get a move on and get in my 5 miles of the day. :P later dudes!
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
here goes nothing
my first day of teaching begins in 9 hours.
i know the equation of a line, and i could do all their homework in about a problem a minute.
so why am i nervous and freaking out?
oi....
i know the equation of a line, and i could do all their homework in about a problem a minute.
so why am i nervous and freaking out?
oi....
Monday, September 05, 2005
...
so nina and jessica are gone... leigh's friend claire is here instead and i just spent the day with the two of them and with ben in easton, pennsylvania at the crayola factory which was fairly fun.
now that i'm not busying myself with crayons and clay though, i'm in a totally bizarre and reflective mood.
2 years ago this evening my friend nicole died in a car wreck in florida.
perhaps that's why i've been in a bizarre mood most all day which is especially coming out now that i sit still and think and type for a bit. i wish i could call her and say hi, or something. with every week that goes by i have a harder and harder time remembering her voice clearly in my head, and that makes me sad.
nicole was an amazingly cheerful person and totally addicted to smiley faces. without fail, no matter where she was and no matter where i was, i could count on her for a happy phone call for birthdays, and any generally memorable holiday, event, whatever. in some ways i can't believe it's been 2 years so fast, and in others she already feels soooo much farther away than i would have imagined after 2 years... i dunno.
2 years ago saturday night was the last time i talked to nicole. ironically, the general theme was "God's timing is the best timing, like it or not, understand it or not". i sure as heck don't understand it at all, but i guess such is life... but isn't that an ironic(?) note to end on?
nicole's brother's away message today says this:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Smile Big Because God Loves You And So Do I!!!!!!!
There are times when we don't know what to say, and in those times, perhaps it is best just to listen and pray.
God's peace be to everyone today and always!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i liked it.
end of thoughts.
now that i'm not busying myself with crayons and clay though, i'm in a totally bizarre and reflective mood.
2 years ago this evening my friend nicole died in a car wreck in florida.
perhaps that's why i've been in a bizarre mood most all day which is especially coming out now that i sit still and think and type for a bit. i wish i could call her and say hi, or something. with every week that goes by i have a harder and harder time remembering her voice clearly in my head, and that makes me sad.
nicole was an amazingly cheerful person and totally addicted to smiley faces. without fail, no matter where she was and no matter where i was, i could count on her for a happy phone call for birthdays, and any generally memorable holiday, event, whatever. in some ways i can't believe it's been 2 years so fast, and in others she already feels soooo much farther away than i would have imagined after 2 years... i dunno.
2 years ago saturday night was the last time i talked to nicole. ironically, the general theme was "God's timing is the best timing, like it or not, understand it or not". i sure as heck don't understand it at all, but i guess such is life... but isn't that an ironic(?) note to end on?
nicole's brother's away message today says this:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Smile Big Because God Loves You And So Do I!!!!!!!
There are times when we don't know what to say, and in those times, perhaps it is best just to listen and pray.
God's peace be to everyone today and always!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i liked it.
end of thoughts.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
so much for sleep... :P
story of the rest of my last night?
2:15: i tried to call heather and got voicemail
2:30: after debating, i decided to give up and go to sleep, just leave my phone on loud and sitting near my head
3:42: i get a call from heather... she apologizes that they had left the phone in the car while regrouping with luggage at chris's house, and says they'll arrive in half an hour and that she's really sorry how long it took and hopes i haven't been awake the whole time waiting for her
4:45: heather and chris arrive at my doorstep
who is this chris guy you ask?
apparently they met long distance through a friend 2 months ago and have been talking a lot since... he's from somewhere in jersey, she's going to school in the caribbeean, even though she's from the indianapolis area... the first time they met in person was 2 weeks ago on her flight from school to visit her parents before the new semester... he picked her up from the airport last night though since i was in NY, and they were together for the evening until 4:45 when they showed up at my door... i was exhausted and incoherent, but it wasn't hard to see that they were both positively glowing.
when i asked heather who chris was a week ago, she said "boy/friend/not sure yet", but when they were holding hands on the way up my front sidewalk, i asked her once we got inside and he had left "so what's the status now?", to which she head-butted me (ouch!),and blurted out "lara! i think he may be the one!"
yay for heather :)
now, on 3 hours of sleep for her, and a very broken less than 5 for me, i gotta wake her up and we gotta be out the door in less than an hour... it's gonna be an entertaining day.
the plot?
* pick up paul... paul, heather, and i go to church at 9:30
* brunch with heather after church... undecided if paul and/or chris are invited too... we'll figure that out shortly
* eventually i have to hand heather back over to chris for the afternoon/evening
* mid-afternoon nina and jessica get back from becky's place
* ben and scott both wanted to hang out with them tonight, so i have to track down those boys too
lots of people to keep track of, and me not very much awake at all... it's gonna be an interesting day. :P
later dudes
2:15: i tried to call heather and got voicemail
2:30: after debating, i decided to give up and go to sleep, just leave my phone on loud and sitting near my head
3:42: i get a call from heather... she apologizes that they had left the phone in the car while regrouping with luggage at chris's house, and says they'll arrive in half an hour and that she's really sorry how long it took and hopes i haven't been awake the whole time waiting for her
4:45: heather and chris arrive at my doorstep
who is this chris guy you ask?
apparently they met long distance through a friend 2 months ago and have been talking a lot since... he's from somewhere in jersey, she's going to school in the caribbeean, even though she's from the indianapolis area... the first time they met in person was 2 weeks ago on her flight from school to visit her parents before the new semester... he picked her up from the airport last night though since i was in NY, and they were together for the evening until 4:45 when they showed up at my door... i was exhausted and incoherent, but it wasn't hard to see that they were both positively glowing.
when i asked heather who chris was a week ago, she said "boy/friend/not sure yet", but when they were holding hands on the way up my front sidewalk, i asked her once we got inside and he had left "so what's the status now?", to which she head-butted me (ouch!),and blurted out "lara! i think he may be the one!"
yay for heather :)
now, on 3 hours of sleep for her, and a very broken less than 5 for me, i gotta wake her up and we gotta be out the door in less than an hour... it's gonna be an entertaining day.
the plot?
* pick up paul... paul, heather, and i go to church at 9:30
* brunch with heather after church... undecided if paul and/or chris are invited too... we'll figure that out shortly
* eventually i have to hand heather back over to chris for the afternoon/evening
* mid-afternoon nina and jessica get back from becky's place
* ben and scott both wanted to hang out with them tonight, so i have to track down those boys too
lots of people to keep track of, and me not very much awake at all... it's gonna be an interesting day. :P
later dudes
errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh
(1) no luck on retrieving my missing 4 pictures... they were
(a) jessica and becky with a sign outside where we had dinner tonight (mars 2112)
(b) me, nina, jessica, and becky in times square
(c) the beauty and the beast sign on the theater tonight
(d) me, nina, and jessica with a super-long stem rose we got at the play in our teeth outside the theater
(a), (b), and (d) were my favorite shots i took all day and they're just plain gone, even after 2 hours of attempting to retrieve them. this sucks.
heather said at midnight she'd be here by 1:30, and it's now 2. she has 15 minutes before i call sounding exhausted... i still was just barely on american time, but waking up at 6 or 7am regularly and wanted to keep it that way... i was hoping for 6 hours of sleep when i was on the train home tonight, and time to work out in the morning... at this rate, it looks like less than 5 hours of sleep without time to exercise before church either. oi...
don't get me wrong, i really want to see heather, and it will be good to see her, but me being up for 20 hours straight is a looooong time and i'm really dragging right now, and would have been in bed 2 hours ago if i weren't waiting up for her. i'm going to look like death warmed over in the morning and not be that sensical for talking either... oh well. it's not often you see friends who are going to school in other countries, so i'll take what i can get, and be happy when she gets here, even if i'm about to fall over and sleep on the floor next to my computer desk while i wait....
done rambling. i really am a grump lately. oi...
(a) jessica and becky with a sign outside where we had dinner tonight (mars 2112)
(b) me, nina, jessica, and becky in times square
(c) the beauty and the beast sign on the theater tonight
(d) me, nina, and jessica with a super-long stem rose we got at the play in our teeth outside the theater
(a), (b), and (d) were my favorite shots i took all day and they're just plain gone, even after 2 hours of attempting to retrieve them. this sucks.
heather said at midnight she'd be here by 1:30, and it's now 2. she has 15 minutes before i call sounding exhausted... i still was just barely on american time, but waking up at 6 or 7am regularly and wanted to keep it that way... i was hoping for 6 hours of sleep when i was on the train home tonight, and time to work out in the morning... at this rate, it looks like less than 5 hours of sleep without time to exercise before church either. oi...
don't get me wrong, i really want to see heather, and it will be good to see her, but me being up for 20 hours straight is a looooong time and i'm really dragging right now, and would have been in bed 2 hours ago if i weren't waiting up for her. i'm going to look like death warmed over in the morning and not be that sensical for talking either... oh well. it's not often you see friends who are going to school in other countries, so i'll take what i can get, and be happy when she gets here, even if i'm about to fall over and sleep on the floor next to my computer desk while i wait....
done rambling. i really am a grump lately. oi...
new york, new york
what a day
jessica and nina got in last night... dinner with me and eric at a diner, then jessica, nina, and i watched 4 episodes of scrubs season 1 in lieu of a movie. that worked quite well.
today, it was off to manhattan... after a slightly rocky start (thinking we were set to go, i started pulling my car out of my parking spot, only to discover nina wasn't in yet and i drove over her foot (major oops, luckily she's fine and it didn't even really hurt her at all while we were out and about today).
we met up with becky in penn station -- she and nina were valpo roommates... all three of them were a year younger than me... i'll let pictures tell the story when i post them, but currently, i'm mad at my camera... i lost the pictures after central park (which is dinner at a fun restaurant, times square, and outside the theater where we saw beauty and the beast on broadway tonight)... if the program i just downloaded that's supposed to find lost data on CDs actually works, there will be an ode to that as my next post.
nina and jessica are at becky's house, meanwhile, although i'm exhausted and have been up for an hour, i'm waiting on my friend heather to get here... she flew into newark while i was at the show, and is hanging out with a guy friend for the evening, only they didn't get my voicemail when i got on the train, so when i called again at midnight (when i got home) to see where they were, they were still over an hour away... doht.
church and brunch with heather tomorrow, then after she leaves again, nina and jessica come back for tomorrow night... it's a crazy weekend. :P
now to see about these missing digital pictures.... stupid camera.
later dudes.
jessica and nina got in last night... dinner with me and eric at a diner, then jessica, nina, and i watched 4 episodes of scrubs season 1 in lieu of a movie. that worked quite well.
today, it was off to manhattan... after a slightly rocky start (thinking we were set to go, i started pulling my car out of my parking spot, only to discover nina wasn't in yet and i drove over her foot (major oops, luckily she's fine and it didn't even really hurt her at all while we were out and about today).
we met up with becky in penn station -- she and nina were valpo roommates... all three of them were a year younger than me... i'll let pictures tell the story when i post them, but currently, i'm mad at my camera... i lost the pictures after central park (which is dinner at a fun restaurant, times square, and outside the theater where we saw beauty and the beast on broadway tonight)... if the program i just downloaded that's supposed to find lost data on CDs actually works, there will be an ode to that as my next post.
nina and jessica are at becky's house, meanwhile, although i'm exhausted and have been up for an hour, i'm waiting on my friend heather to get here... she flew into newark while i was at the show, and is hanging out with a guy friend for the evening, only they didn't get my voicemail when i got on the train, so when i called again at midnight (when i got home) to see where they were, they were still over an hour away... doht.
church and brunch with heather tomorrow, then after she leaves again, nina and jessica come back for tomorrow night... it's a crazy weekend. :P
now to see about these missing digital pictures.... stupid camera.
later dudes.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
man, oh man
have you watched the news this week?
surely you're aware that hurricane katrina obliterated parts of louisiana and mississippi over the weekend. i was shocked yesterday when talking with friends that they knew hurricane katrina existed but they didn't realize how bad it was and hadn't looked at the pictures online or on the TV news.
every morning, after i work out, i eat a bowl of grits while watching msnbc for 15-20 minutes to catch up on what's going on in the world.
watching the video from new orleans this morning literally made me cry. it's painful to watch this many people suffering and dying right in front of us, but with rescue efforts unable to continue right because of so much desperate crime.
i don't have answers for it; it just literally makes my heart break.
i'm sure the whole country is feeling the loss, whether you're close or not. people complain that gas cost $2.50 here on tuesday (when i luckily filled up), $2.99 yesterday, and $3.15 today... i saw on the news that it's $6ish per gallon in georgia and hear from friends that gas stations in south carolina are just plain running out.
i've got news for you. at least for people complaining about the prices at the pump in places far away from the gulf -- europe's been paying twice what we pay for years... we're not getting hurt by prices so much as getting unspoiled.
my plan? my car sits in front of my house except to get me the 25 miles each way to church on sunday mornings this semester, or to get me to an occasional doctor appointment 6 or more miles away. there are enough stores within a 2 mile radius of my house to get me what i need just walking, and even if the undergraduates on some of the campus buses can be obnoxious, the campus bus system is free and picks me up just 3/4 of a mile from my house, and with just one bus change, drops me off a 5 minute walk from the math building. i did that today... 37 minutes door to door... not much worse than the 15 minutes each way by car, and better for me to fit in the walking too. the least i can do is not be a gas hog.
so if it's your pocketbook that's hurting, yeah it sucks that life's gonna cost more even for basics (food, etc.) for awhile, if not permanently, but it could be much worse. i almost feel guilty that i actually have a roof over my head and running water right now. the incongruity and arbitary-ness of natural disasters is heartbreaking. one day people are making it by alright, the next they're trapped on rooftops and elsewhere with no food or water because they couldn't afford to leave and everything they did have is gone. like i said... it makes my heart break, and it literally makes me cry to watch the news this week. the least i can do is share a little more, conserve a little more, and not complain that things cost more, because i'm far from the only one, and i'm far from being the worst affected.
done with semi-incoherent essay... praying for the hurricane victims... the end.
surely you're aware that hurricane katrina obliterated parts of louisiana and mississippi over the weekend. i was shocked yesterday when talking with friends that they knew hurricane katrina existed but they didn't realize how bad it was and hadn't looked at the pictures online or on the TV news.
every morning, after i work out, i eat a bowl of grits while watching msnbc for 15-20 minutes to catch up on what's going on in the world.
watching the video from new orleans this morning literally made me cry. it's painful to watch this many people suffering and dying right in front of us, but with rescue efforts unable to continue right because of so much desperate crime.
i don't have answers for it; it just literally makes my heart break.
i'm sure the whole country is feeling the loss, whether you're close or not. people complain that gas cost $2.50 here on tuesday (when i luckily filled up), $2.99 yesterday, and $3.15 today... i saw on the news that it's $6ish per gallon in georgia and hear from friends that gas stations in south carolina are just plain running out.
i've got news for you. at least for people complaining about the prices at the pump in places far away from the gulf -- europe's been paying twice what we pay for years... we're not getting hurt by prices so much as getting unspoiled.
my plan? my car sits in front of my house except to get me the 25 miles each way to church on sunday mornings this semester, or to get me to an occasional doctor appointment 6 or more miles away. there are enough stores within a 2 mile radius of my house to get me what i need just walking, and even if the undergraduates on some of the campus buses can be obnoxious, the campus bus system is free and picks me up just 3/4 of a mile from my house, and with just one bus change, drops me off a 5 minute walk from the math building. i did that today... 37 minutes door to door... not much worse than the 15 minutes each way by car, and better for me to fit in the walking too. the least i can do is not be a gas hog.
so if it's your pocketbook that's hurting, yeah it sucks that life's gonna cost more even for basics (food, etc.) for awhile, if not permanently, but it could be much worse. i almost feel guilty that i actually have a roof over my head and running water right now. the incongruity and arbitary-ness of natural disasters is heartbreaking. one day people are making it by alright, the next they're trapped on rooftops and elsewhere with no food or water because they couldn't afford to leave and everything they did have is gone. like i said... it makes my heart break, and it literally makes me cry to watch the news this week. the least i can do is share a little more, conserve a little more, and not complain that things cost more, because i'm far from the only one, and i'm far from being the worst affected.
done with semi-incoherent essay... praying for the hurricane victims... the end.
