it's hard to be a grump when everyone else is being happy; it's hard to run away when what you're running from goes away

...but nevertheless i manage to do both.

boy, did i have a bad attitude or what the end of last week... i managed to stifle it and be good for the weekend and enjoy myself while showing the parents around, but after they were gone yesterday afternoon, the attitude was back, and worse than even before. woke up today just as grumpy, but really, it's hard not to be at least moderately happy around my math people.

ex. 1: i really didn't like the day we turned in our first algebra assignment this semester and the prof randomly called people to go to the board so i left the classroom for a bit. today we were turning in assignment 2, and i was really only happy with 3 of my 5 solutions, tired from cerca 3 hours of sleep 3 nights in a row, and not really wanting to deal with putting up stuff on the board i'm not that happy with or dealing with people, so jared told me before class, "dude, i'll gladly turn in your homework for you if you make your escape now, before the prof or any other students get here!" so, i ran off, and studied analysis in the lobby of the next building over for an hour and a half and went to my next class. turns out our regular prof had a doctor's appointment and an older grad student lectured instead (who i happened to run into in the hallway while escaping -- oops!)... so yeah, hard to run away from a class setting i didn't want to deal with that didn't actually happen, but i did manage to do so anyhow =P

so jared was nice and sympathetic to my attitude. after my 2nd class, which i did go to, scott saw me across the parking lot and stopped me before i got to my car to try to make me laugh... later, eric, who's been telling me i need to work on getting over this running away from algebra kick and over my attitude, was helpful anyhow with questions about class/homework, and even showed me some fun stuff he's been downloading all afternoon. even after my attitude last night studying, colleen and leigh still invited me to work with them and are as friendly as ever. truly, if you are going to be sullen and have a horrible attitude for a bit, this is a good group to be that way with because it's hard to stay completely down and out for more than like 30 seconds... maybe i'm not bouncing off the walls, but i am much more up than how i woke up feeling. in summary, yay for my math people.

so about this attitude... dude, i really wish i could get rid of it... like i'm even starting to get a little tired of myself... theory is that when i'm behind on my workload (i.e. the last 2 weeks), then the stress of trying to keep up gets me down, and then that stress carries over in to just about everything else i do until i have such a plethora of negative things going on in my mind that it's impossible to combat it all anymore. doing homework early -- that's the key. =P

heh... analysis time.

later.