reassurance

eric and me redeemed our full sub club cards for dinner at subway tonight... $1.26 for a drink and a 6-inch sandwich isn't a bad deal at all =)

been working mostly otherwise... did have a very helpful conversation on IM while i worked though... with ben, one of the 2nd years around here who likes to hang out with us little people:

...
lkp4242: i've officially earned the title of village psycho-case :-P
PeaceFrog3333: Lol, from what you told me, I can totally understand. Well, as far as I'm concerned, you were totally justified in your "psycho-case-ness"
lkp4242: did i appear to be a psycho-case on friday?
PeaceFrog3333: not at all. You seemed to be actually in good spirits
lkp4242: that's excelltn
PeaceFrog3333: :-)
lkp4242: eric said if you witnessed thursday night then the fact that i was about to punch someone was evident throughout my pizza talk
lkp4242: but hopefully not otherwise =P
lkp4242: go me
PeaceFrog3333: really...I thought that your talks was one of the best myself. I'm now worried about competition for best pizza seminar. Yeah, I'll be around this next weekend.
lkp4242: excellent
lkp4242: you think the chocolate earned me points? =P
lkp4242: telling kia he had to earn them seemed to keep him under control ;-)
PeaceFrog3333: Absolutely! That was a fabulous touch. Hahahahaha.

so yay for pizza talk... what about the "will i ever survive this program?" question.....
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lkp4242: so new topic: does the feeling of being completely incompetant around here ever go away?
lkp4242: =P
PeaceFrog3333: I don't really know. I'll let you know if I ever feel totally competant
lkp4242: other than the rocket scientist (e.g sam) types :-P, have you met any who do?
PeaceFrog3333: Chris...although he's another rocket scientist
lkp4242: ok =)
PeaceFrog3333: Kia, although, again
lkp4242: yeah, kia's kia
PeaceFrog3333: yeah, I think once the first year courses and written qual are over, it's easier. You can relax a little bit more
lkp4242: no mostly, it's just hard to reconcile getting back papers with very low percentages on them and feeling like i'm accomplishing anything by being here... i just keep looking for evidence i'm not in that boat by myself =P
lkp4242: ok, here's a question
lkp4242: people have been hypothesizing
PeaceFrog3333: hypothesizing eh?
PeaceFrog3333: If I'd kept them, I'd show you some of the weird scores our class got
PeaceFrog3333: Some were VERY very low
lkp4242: there's one camp of thought that says the quals are going to be completely crappy and kick our butts unless we find a way to input large chunks of folland/hungerford/etc directly into our heads.... and we're not managing to do it yet so we're basically screwed
then, there's another camp saying the first year classes are meant to be insanely fast paced so the "analysis people" get lots of analysis and the rest hopefully catch on to something there and there, similarly for algera, and so while quals won't be a piece of cake there's the possibility of sucking at the first year classes but still being capable of passing
lkp4242: which would you say is more accurate from personal experience?
lkp4242: or is that just an insanely bizarrely-phrased question?
PeaceFrog3333: wow, that's quite a mouth full. Let's see. I do believe that the first year courses are totally meant to cram a crap-load of information into your heads, most of which you won't be able to recover without a reference. For example, I don't think anyone will remember the proofs from the last Algebra test. But I think that everyone in your class will pass the quals, because the quals have a large mix of Analysis and Algebra in general. If you heard otherwise, it was probably from our year, where we had way too much Analysis, and not enough Algebra.
PeaceFrog3333: And I'm sure that the department recognized that that was an issue for our year
lkp4242: so maybe the second hypothesis isn't complete crap?
PeaceFrog3333: It is actually my viewpoint almost to a tee
lkp4242: see when i feel like complaining, i know what responses i'll get from who, so if i want a commisserator, i complain to someone from camp 1,... if i want someone to say "dude, lara, there will be better days... they wouldn't have let you in if they didn't have some faith in you" i talk to someone from camp 2
lkp4242: i'll have to let eric and trevor (camp 2) know =)
lkp4242: scott's the predominant voice in camp 1
PeaceFrog3333: Lol, yeah, that sounds about right. I think both parties will agree that everyone has a great chance of passing on the first try, and I'm positive that everyone will pass by the second either way. I don't think Scott is aware of how ready he already is for the quals.
lkp4242: i think scott's a lot more ready than me, but he seems to feel we
lkp4242: 'll all fail
lkp4242: so i add you to camp 2 now... as an old wise, post-quals 2nd year =)
PeaceFrog3333: Don't believe him for a second. If you study as much for the qual as you do for your other classes, you'll pass. Old maybe...wise??? Hmmmm. :-)

...and in random stuff...
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PeaceFrog3333: Well, you are welcome to throw the aerobie into my head repeatedly until your fear is gone. It does not hurt because it is rubbery.
lkp4242: ok, good deal
lkp4242: i might consider that stress relief
lkp4242: on the other hand
lkp4242: i looooove kicking kickballs around
lkp4242: i have one
lkp4242: i used to play kickball in my dorm hallways at undergrad and knock out lights
lkp4242: it was great
PeaceFrog3333: really....you might have to get some people together to play! I'll gladly join when I can. Don't break lights though, unless you blame it on someone else.
lkp4242: heh
lkp4242: mostly i just like kicking the ball
lkp4242: not necessarily the game with bases and all
lkp4242: i don't like having it thrown at me
lkp4242: i just like kicking it as far and high as i can
PeaceFrog3333: Well, we have a big courtyard, and I've never kicked it high enough to clear Hill, so .... :-)
lkp4242: heh =P
lkp4242: that'll be my new goal
lkp4242: although i'd be incredibly sad if it got stuck on top
lkp4242: my kickball is yellow with a smiley face on it =)
PeaceFrog3333: Okay, wow! Then I'll make a point of doing everything I can to help you recover it if it gets stuck on the roof.
lkp4242: imight just have to purchase a separate roofaiming kickball =P
lkp4242: =)
PeaceFrog3333: YES!
PeaceFrog3333: That's a GREAT idea!
lkp4242: dude, a 7 story kick, that would be great
lkp4242: i remember the emails about 4square being problematic to the office people
lkp4242: imagine windows getting clobbered on the initial attempts
lkp4242: it would be great!
PeaceFrog3333: Oh yes! We just have to play at a time when nobody would care (late night or weekend)
lkp4242: play kick the kickball over the hill? heh
lkp4242: that's a great new game!
PeaceFrog3333: hahhahahah, yes!

the end of enlightenment via ben... i'm going to sleep