hodgepodge

(1) i love my family.

i always have fun visiting aunt pris in pitt. of all my "next generation older" relatives, she's the one that's most a friend and least an "elder" to me, and i like that. never a bad thing to see her and just hang out.

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(2) i still miss my grandma.

yesterday, pris and i went to see roy (my step grandpa) at the nursing home. he's in the same nursing home as grandma used to be in, just down the hall. he's actually improving strength wise although he makes sense in spurts and makes not much sense in other spurts. we caught him during a particularly good hour. it's happy to see him a bit stronger each time i've been there this fall. he's not up to walking yet, but he's a speed demon pushing his own wheelchair down the hall and navigating between other people -- i was impressed.

what was strange was that priscilla and i went through his wedding album with him (the one from his wedding to my grandma in 1998), and it was really nice, but i hadn't seen it before. actually sitting there and looking at pre-stroke pictures of my grandma (which is something i haven't done in ages) and remembering her as she was before the strokes kinda trapped her a bit, and reflecting strongly on that for a little with roy and pris before pris and i stopped by her grave yesterday was strange. the other couple times i've been in pitt this fall and stopped by there, it numbs the "missing her" part if i'm just thinking of how she was the past 5 years and that she's no longer trapped in a stroke-ridden body. remembering her as she was 6-7 years ago brings the fact that she's gone a little more home.

oi.

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(3) RENT makes a *fantastic* movie as well as a good musical. sure, they changed some of the settings, and departed a little more from act 2, but i was enthralled the whole time... i want it when it comes out on dvd. (i saw it tonight with scott, jared, and leigh) -- go see it, whether you've already seen the musical or not... it's a party

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(4) i forgot how fantastic the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe is -- i reread it in its entirety wednesday and thursday nights at aunt pris's house. it's an easy quick read, and i enjoyed remembering the details again even if the general story is all still in my head... i figure i can rip through the whole 7 book series fairly quickly if i feel like it, so prince caspian is next on the list

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(5) switchfoot's CDs learning to breathe and the beautiful letdown are fantastic too... brother has them and let me borrow them for the drive to pitt... i'm enthralled with several of the songs now that i hadn't heard before, and continue to enjoy the ones i already did know. it's a party

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(6) scott is crazy

he thinks that
(a) he's going to teach me to dance and/or get me to dance in public at some point in the forseeable future
(b) he can pick me up without hurting himself

i contend that stubborness will prevent (a), and i contend that (b) is impossible without him hurting himself... he hasn't proven otherwise on either.

arguing about both of these takes up 2/3 of mine and scott's conversations anymore... it's kinda funny

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(7) i wish personalities were easily transferable

that's a strange phrasing but...

earlier tonight, i stole scott's hat off his head and borrowed it for a bit. leigh and scott both commented that it looked fine but didn't fit my wardrobe, and i instantly replied "but budapest lara could pull it off... she's the best lara of all", to which scott replied "then you need to move budapest lara to new jersey"

i wish i knew how.

i was chatting about this with roommate just before break too. i like who i am best when i'm in budapest. there truly are different laras when i'm in different environments, and they're all reflections of me, but i'm the happiest when i'm budapest lara and i think budapest lara is the closest to the true lara. although there are perfectly logical reasons for why (for example) i don't think i'll completely ever be able to be budapest lara when not in budapest, it would be nice to figure out how to transfer at least some of that version of me to how i am in other places. or even in smaller context, scott and i agreed at dinner tonight that i've mellowed a lot in the past two years and it would be nice if i could rewind some parts of me to be two years ago lara if only to just be a little more adventuresome and more able to deal well with groups of people.

problem: i haven't figured out how to do that yet.

oi.

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(8) the end. your turn. questions? comments? reactions? grudges? criticisms? profound thoughts? 1, 2, 3, go.