the house on the strand

seriously, if i didn't make time for a chapter each night before i went to sleep, this week would drive me nuts with all i have to do... last paragraph of tonight's chapter:

"I lay awake thinking of the hell I would give Magnus when he arrive. Nausea, vertigo, confussion, a bloodshot eye, and now acid sweat, and all for what? A moment in time, long past, that had no bearing on the present, that served no purpose in his life or mine, and could as little benefit the world in which we lived as a scrapbook of forgotten memories lying in a dusty drawer..., and as I lay there, ... , I remembered how I had walked about that other world with a dreamer's freedom but with a waking man's perception. Roger had been no faded snapshot in time's album; and even now, in this fourth dimension into which I had stumbled inadvertently but Magnus with intent, he lived and moved, ate and slept, beneath me in his house, enacting his living Now which ran side by side with my immediate Present, and so the two merged.

"Am I my brother's keeper? Cain's cry of protest suddenly had new meaning for me as I watched the hands of the clock move towards ten past three. Roger was my keeper, I was his. There was no past, no present, no future. Everything living is part of the whole. We are all bound, one to the other, through time and eternity, and, our senses once opened, as mine had been opened by the drug, to a new understanding of his world and mine, fusion would take place, there would be no separation, there would be no death.... This would be the ultimate meaning of the experiment, surely, that by moving about in time, death was destroyed. This is what Magnus so far had not understood. To him, the drug released the complex brew within the brain that serve up the savoured past. To me, it proved that the past was living still, that we were all participants, all witnesses. I was Roger, I was Bodrugan, I was Cain: and in being so was more truly myself.

"I felt myself on the brink of some tremendous discovery when I fell asleep."

heh, discovery, i wish -- wouldn't time travel be nice though? a chance to fix the things you've screwed up, see the people you don't have the chance to see ever again, a chance to make different choices had you known the way things would turn out later on?

no discovery for me, just rambling... on a more "profound" =P note, quote from "13 going on 30"

matt: you can't change the past.
jenna: why not?

that's my answer =P