maybe people are the problem

this from a friend's IM profile:
To summarize: it is a well known fact, that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.

politics aside, the last line is a favorite tonight.

it's 10 til midnight and i think when i'm done venting i'll go to sleep.

last you tuned in i was off to no-math night dinner and then other misc... turns out just the first happened, and i left early (11) and now i'm home and going to crash instead.

i'll grant you i've been in a super weird rollercoaster kind of mood lately... there's all kinds of things to "blame" it on, but regardless, for whatever reason, i have been and that's that. maybe this is just my attitude flaring up again, maybe not, but i'm tired of people.

don't get me wrong, i love my friends, i like individual people, but the concept of people as a whole is getting to me lately.

take for example "no math night"... it started out as an organized routine -- get the week's grocery shopping done together, cook as much food as possible for a dozen people with as little money per person required as possible, play sheepshead until we all fall asleep,... and with rare exception that was the plot all last fall. that was fun.

this semester no math night moved from on campus to jared and mike's house off campus. it kept the general format at first but now has changed... instead of group planning of meals or taking turns deciding the entrees, jared goes out and buys a ton of stuff and has the menu planned when we get there (just fine, jared's an amazing chef)
instead of trying to be as economical as possible, though, prices have been rising... jared likes to cook gourmet-ish type things and buys quality stuff... the food is to die for... but then again, i'm not sure i have $10 a week to splurge on limited servings i could make for myself for much less. but even money aside, because really, whatever, i waste tons of it anyhow.
the atmosphere's been changing too... instead of "let's all cook together" and then "let's all play cards together", no math night has kinda turned into weekly house party at jared's place. for some people, this is great, for me it's not. when the sole source of entertainment for the evening is mingling, and there's bunches of new people coming each week, i freak out. don't get me wrong, i love people, i enjoy meeting new people, i enjoy chatting with people, but i do much much better one on one or in smaller groups and gradually phasing new people in (instead of feeling outnumbered and overwhelmed) and with something more concrete to do with myself besides "mingling".
things have gradually been changing in all of the above ways for a bit, and tonight i just couldn't deal with it after a point... being around so many people (and like half a dozen i'd never met before) just standing around talking and whatever wears me out... i played cards with ben and eric for a little in another room, chatted with them while scott, mike, and sam came through every so often, ate, then hung out with vicki, scott, and eric for awhile... the food was phenominal, but the small bit of salmon and the pasta i got was not $9... and when i left at 11, the pies they had made still needed an hour to cool... my brain couldn't take it anymore and i just left. eric and me both talked about how the new dynamic of friday nights frustrates us, and scott talked a little about it with me too, although for him this is more ideal... i dunno. my weird mood continues, i'm not mad at anyone really, just tired... tonight was more wearing on my nerves than fun... i don't know what i'll do in future weeks, but i don't see a need to spend $10 to give myself a headache. whatever.

maybe this is partly just my weird mood flaring up again. i dunno...

either way, i'm tired, and for once i'm giving the computer a break (both my desktop and my laptop are getting completely turned off tonight), turning off the phone, and crashing til i feel like getting up in the AM.

good night.